Monday, May 14, 2012

To Step Into It Or Not

Chances are rather high I am going to step into it. I'm not sure if this is a talent or some horrible reaction to circumstances beyond my control. I will try to not let this be a whine fest.

I did say try.

Facebook - where high school drama just keeps rolling right along. The down side for me is I was home-schooled for high school, so I don't know what the game is nor do I want to. But I find all these petty little games keep bubbling up to the surface over and over again. And by women who are waaay beyond the age of high school, I might add. This leaves me not being able to navigate people and their stupid drama very well.

I'm actually going to take a high road for just a moment and not give all the details. Oh, don't applaud. I just don't know the reasons why otherwise I would. I know, you had such high hopes for me for a full 3 seconds and I just rip it away. I guess I can be cruel like that.

I tried to do something nice for someone (like saved a bunch of Boxtops) and I had emailed her asking her when she wanted them. Nothing. Nadda. Zilch. Squat. She just happens to be really good friends with the lady I had sent the gift card to who, given the chance, would rip me to shribbons. My new made up word where it's a cross between shreds and ribbons = shribbons.

I guess it was an awkward situation.

For who, I'm not sure.

Long story getting longer, I had also sent a former friend a gift card with an explanation. I can't even remember if I blogged about this or not. When I had gone to the homeschool book sale last year I saw my former friend. The last time I saw this friend she was soooo uncomfortable being near me that it did indeed drive the knife in deeper. So me, being the mature person I'm not, walked right passed her and pretended I didn't see her.

Like this shocks you.

But God got on my case about my attitude as He so frequently does. Have gone out of my way a couple of times to bless her. Sent it out, heard nothing back but I didn't expect to because she is also very close to the first lady I sent the gift care to. I hope you are keeping score.

Are we seeing a trend here?

Why God is having me bless people who hate my guts is beyond me but it has been interesting. This isn't my first dance with character assassination from "women of God" but it still sucks. Sadly, it's also shown me some stuff about myself. Do I want to defend myself and justify it? You betcha! But that's all I'm gonna say about that for now.

So back to drama, or maybe it's just a side slant. 

Anyhoo-and-whathaveya, the woman unfriended me on Facebook. There was no reason for it. We weren't really close, I had only known her through church but thought if I was going to get kicked to the curb, it would have been quite a while ago. So to reach out to her that here I did something nice for you, as she asked people to save Boxtops, and her response was to say nothing and unfriend me just went over oh so not well.

The thing is I don't really care that she unfriended me. I was actually hoping she would. She gushed constantly about people who I know are phoney, fake, and lie through their teeth. They talk about the love of God yet their actions to back that up are lacking. Frankly it's been annoying me. I do believe actions speak louder than words and I'm tired of people preaching how to behave yet their actions say something totally different. If you can't get your actions and your words to line up - shut up or fix it!

Needless to say, I needed to sever the connection. Matter of fact, God was on my case about it. The only reason I kept her as a friend was so I could cyber-stalk other people through her friend list.

As if I'm the only one. Don't sit there all innocent like.

The down side is I didn't think it all the way through about this being a good thing and just responded out of hurt and posted a snarky comment about it on Facebook, thus bringing me down to the very level that I accuse all of them and where I know the bottom-dwellers lurk. Geez Joanna, way to make progress! NOT!

And yes, I did sprain my eye from that eye-roll against myself.

I can say I am making strides at getting better. Not there by a long shot but moving forward.