Hopefully round and round.
It has been an emotionally charged few days. Back against the wall
again and not exactly sure what to do again with very little time to work with again, and totally stressing about how to pay for it again.
Why yes, I am bitter about all those again parts.
Crap-tastic situation with our van. We've gone to a couple dealerships and what we owe on the van plus the damage to it not to mention our credit score equals royal screwage. Lots and lots of screwage.
We were at a dealership Tuesday that was willing to take the van, the debt, and the truck and give us a loan. Trouble with that is it had to be a newer vehicle with under 100,000 miles. I am a practical gal. You can not eat 10 M&Ms when you only have 4. The payments put us way outside our comfort zone. The guy, sensing my hyperventilation, threw the keys at Fred's head and said drive it for a day so the vehicle doesn't sell out from under you while you convince this dame that the situation is rather dicey at best.
Dude. I've been through dicey and this isn't it. But the horrible sense of desperation and seeing no way out sucks.
In this guy's defense, it was a good deal, he pulled some incredible strings, and I don't think we could have gotten a better deal anywhere else. And I really liked this guy and feel bad that we're not able to do this. He was super gracious but reality is, well, reality.
We came home with the shiny new vehicle. It's only a 5 passenger and we thought for sure the guys would say this isn't going to work, because Nicholas is not a touchy person verses Jared has been dubbed The Tick due to him being overly clingy lately. I forgot they've been stuck in the truck so this was a dream compared to the truck. Ruh-roh, Raggie.
I made the comment that I didn't love the vehicle. Michael, ever the practical one, said for that kind of money shouldn't you love it? Why yes, that is the voice of reason. However, the screwage and the lack to fix things left us in quite the pickle. I was praying like crazy because I crunched the numbers, blacked out from the reality of it, came to, saw the numbers and then proceeded to bawl my head off aaaand then pass out.
Drama - I can work it.
My phone started ringing at that moment and it was my FIL. I was relieved he called. I needed some other voice, other than the one in my head, to bounce all this off of. He said not a good idea and that we were digging a bigger hole for ourselves. I said that's what I felt but didn't know what to do. He said that's why he was calling, he could get the money to fix the van.
I may have sobbed - possibly to the point of getting the hiccups - with relief, but that was after we got off the phone. Because I didn't want to frighten my FIL and I have still have issues with people and me crying.
I can't even begin to put into words the relief. We have insurance on the van, so we get it fixed, back up and running, we can get plates on it. All before the end of the month before our current plates expire.
Down to the wire! AGAIN! Dang it.
I'm all over the board emotionally. Part of me wanted a newer vehicle. Part of me wanted to be done with the van AND the truck, but the other part of me liked our van, didn't want a 5 passenger vehicle and certainly not that type of payment, and certainly not over a vehicle I wasn't in love with. But it was shiny and had a sunroof.....but I didn't love it or it's price tag.
So tomorrow we got to go run the shiny thing back and pick up Clifford the big, red, work truck and limp him back home. We've had only 1 bite on trying to sell it and looks like Cliff will just have to park it for a while until we can sell him or trade him in at a later time.
But for now, I think it's going to be okay.
Which is what God was trying to tell me alllll daaaay loooooong. Easy for Him to be all calm, cool, and collective - He knew how this day was going to pan out.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Hopefully round and round.