Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Tsk, Tsk

My time gets away from me a lot lately. I can't say I'm busy running here or there, but it just seems like I don't have much time for myself lately or I'm only getting snippets. Obviously, the blog pays for it.

So. How's your month been going? Mine has been a blur. Just a lot of lather, rinse, repeat. I'm going to say, yet again, I miss my dishwasher.

Thanksgiving went off just fine. My folks were here and it wasn't too bad. Mom went off on a few crazy rants but I'm getting pretty good at shutting them down. We pigged out on food and we were thankful. Watched some TV with the folks while the boys made themselves scarce. I did pat myself on the back for how far I've come. Then gave God a high-five because it hasn't been easy. Can't say as they've changed but how I handle things is totally different.

Fred had to work the weekend so we were a bit late in our tradition of putting up the Christmas decorations. We had the tree up and discovered a few of our strands of lights were dead. Sad looking tree with most of the lights on had to wait another day for Fred to pick stuff up on the way home.

I miss having a vehicle to do stupid errands. Because having to wait for stuff gets old real quick.

Also found out my sweeper is having issues. Not sure if it's hormonal and just a bit crazy or if it's in its death throws. Lets just say, it hasn't been pretty.

Fred had an office party for thanksgiving and recipes were demanded. Made me laugh. Except now I have all this pressure to out-do myself for the Christmas party. Some of my best stuff doesn't travel well. Which makes parties interesting. Eh, we'll come up with something.

After Jared dropped about a brazillion hints to get the tree up, his brothers are now starting to drop the hints of when is the goodness going to start showing up in cookie form? And happy holidays to you too! I was trying to avoid this for a bit longer. I'm so frustrated with my weight I'm about ready to send myself to a fat farm....for broke people. It's called you just sit on your big butt and don't eat until your big butt is a smaller butt.

Kidding. I can't find a place like that nor do I have the willpower for it. Not to mention I feel like all I do is deal with food. I'm either hunting for a new recipe, trying said recipe, and/or having to hold off the masses from eating everything they can get their hands on. Let me tell you what an adventure that has turned out to be.

I've heard lots of moms complain about grocery bill and feeding kids. Granted, that was mostly from me, but I'm finding the best plan of attack when dealing with eating machines is well, planning. I shouldn't be surprised as that's how we survived twins when they were little. I have things planned out. While they sing my praises, I'm already thinking of the next feeding and how to make sure I survive the onslaught. Reminds me a lot of when they were babies.

Gosh, it's such a wonder why I'm having issues with food. There would be a mutiny if food wasn't served up on a regular basis around here so I can't seem to escape from it.

As if that wasn't enough, I'll now have to pray that I won't have issues with hearing because we broke down and got the guys the electric guitar and bass guitar. Thanks to cyber Monday, we got good deals. I'm asking Santa, Fred, and total strangers to get me headphones that block out noises. I've said it before, it's not that these guys aren't good but when they first learn something can be rough at first. I'm still trying to convince Fred to get drums or a large bongo. He has natural rhythm and you either got it or you don't. Not to mention I'm afraid I'll throw something at one of the kids if they were trying to learn it.

I don't think I'm kidding on that one.

On a totally different note, we've been checking out a different church this last month and I can honestly say this is the first pastor I think I've ever liked. He's funny, he teaches something and has a new angle I haven't heard of before, is genuine, and actually has compassion towards his flock. I can usually smell agenda on people - not in a paranoid type of way but just a gut reaction which has turned out accurate every.single.time.

While their worship team isn't as good as the mega church, it flows better and they have enough people that they rotate. We haven't heard the same group twice so far. Each has their own flavor and I like it. We don't recognize a lot of the songs though, but the congregation is more down home people - more genuine. So far we're liking it.

I still feel guarded towards people. I know I'm not supposed to be but I still find myself behind that wall not ready or wanting to budge. I can already tell one lady in particular has tried to get me to engage and while I can't entirely stop myself being a natural conversationalist, I still can feel myself hitting the brakes or dodging questions. Not that I'm hiding anything, I just don't want to let people in.

I can hear ya say, what is your problem? In a nutshell, someone's parting words to me cut deep and as someone I viewed as a woman of God, it left me questioning myself, people, and motives. And I can't help but be guarded because my gut reaction was correct and stupid me walked right into it anyway.

Talk about baggage. I feel bad as I'll have to battle myself to not make these people pay for other peoples' mistakes and wrongdoings. Almost makes me exhausted just thinking about it and I know that's also a huge factor why I hit the brakes.

Why do I have this annoying feeling God is up to something? Especially dealing with people, because I've found myself in the last 2 months in a counseling sort of position a lot lately and on a lot of different topics too. This confuses me as I feel I'm kind of a hot mess so who am I to give advice? But I get into these situations where I can see both sides of an argument and out of no where bam! God hits me with an answer or suggestion that turns out to be spot on. Weird.

Not sure what to make of that one. Time will tell.


Lorraine said...

Love the visual of you high-fiving God! Pretty awesome to look back over one's journey and see the transformation.....