Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Craziness Continues

It all started Monday too. For some reason, teenage boys think that has soon as a cookie is made it NEEDS to be consumed immediately. I've also noticed that these same creatures can eat their weight in cookies. This made "preparing" for Hubby's Christmas party impossible.

And, of course, dude wanted to get a tin for each of the people he works with at the clinic with different stuff in it. Thank goodness he wasn't making it for the hospital staff because I would have raised the white flag of surrender and bought cookies from the store. But since it was 5 tins worth, I was cool with it because I have no life, I've spent countless hours on Pinterest gathering different recipes I wanted to try. I would try a few and before you could say, "frost my cookies" everything was gone! Gone, I tell you!! G-O-N-E!!!!!

Clearly, I had to up my game. And by up my game I mean wait until the last second to get everything done.

Monday was the day of reckoning and the baking began. I totally miscalculated and thought I got half the stuff done. Nope. And all this baking takes a lot longer since I have to wash everything up.

I still mourn my dishwasher.

Tuesday rolled around with not only more stuff to do, but we had to go grocery shopping and I wasn't done with the list, AND auntie flow showed up. I kicked it into overdrive and got it all done by 3 A.M. Hubby and I make a great team because he said he wanted to give them lots of variety but there was no way I could have gotten all that stuff into the tins. So go us! And I heard I was the hit of the party and then they demanded that I start a food truck. Not gonna happen!

I spent Wednesday trying to recover by trying to do as little as possible. The kitchen is still a mess. I haven't even tackled the cookie sheets and I'm waiting for ambition to show back up. I have a feeling this will be a long wait. I got up today and was a bit disturbed when auntie flo looking at all the chocolate goodness and said, "Happy Hanukkah, Marv."

I didn't even know that about myself.

And then today, both Jared and I are feeling a bit plugged up. Great. We must have picked up more than groceries at stuffmart. Still no ambition on getting the kitchen back together and now I'm tackling laundry. But we are counting down the days until school break. The guys got their chemistry test done and Jared finished his spelling book. Tomorrow will be a super light day.

Bring on the happy dance!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Mind And The Heart

My mind can't seem to wrap its way around what happened Friday. And my heart is just broken for everyone involved. Friday Facebook started to explode with what was going on, so I turned on TV and then spent the rest of the afternoon glued to the thing. The pictures got me the most and I made a little effort to keep the tears at bay. But the next day when I saw the list of the kids and their ages........I bawled my head off.

So many people are blogging about it all and have said it way better than I could ever hope to do so, but just the shock of it all doesn't want to go away. I saw a quote that one of the kids said, "Christmas is canceled." and my heart broke all over again.

I have experienced tragedy and had my world turned upside down all around the holidays. I know people who have gone through horrific stuff all around dashing through the snow, peace on earth, and Christmas plays all while their hearts were beyond broken. I remember, at the time, thinking is nothing sacred? Why does bad stuff always happen around the time we are celebrating joy and peace causing us to wonder how will we ever experience those things again?

I think as time is winding down, more evil will show up. I also think tremendous good will as well. You hear stories of how the teachers saved lives and the first responders put an end to the shooters rampage saving even more lives. 

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised that evil tries to rise up during Christmas time. After all, Christmas is a reminder to all the forces of evil that their territory was invaded by a tiny baby and whipped the snot out of them and took away the keys to hell and death! And I'm sure that the devil's everlasting shame will be how he lost by something so innocent as a child. Why else does it prey after the innocent - the children?

Everyone is all upset and freaking out over guns and stronger gun control. Am I the only one that noticed that the guy tried to buy a rifle and couldn't? The current law worked - it stopped him from buying a rifle. However, it didn't stop him from getting one anyway. Gun control isn't the answer. Mental health issues needs to be addressed before another gun law is passed.

Psych meds are extremely expensive and a lot of insurance companies don't even cover all of it. We live in a fallen world with messed up people who need help. While all of us fall under that category, there are people who need serious help.  I know someone who is horrendously depressed but won't get medical help because it's too expensive. It makes me sad to see this person so different from the fun loving person I remember growing up.

I've had a handful of people tell me I need therapy, although I've also had more people tell me I am incredibly strong and those people don't know their butt from a hole in the ground.

(That saying also makes me crack up laughing because, apparently, I am still 12.)

I don't know if I needed therapy or not - my blog has been a picture of one person's struggle to trudge on. But I never felt that I was too far gone or that my happy meal was several fries short. Life was just a huge struggle. Still is, but I've got better coping skills now. That and getting away from fake people who can't tell the truth if their lives depended on it certainly helped.

For me, I had Jesus to help me pick up what pieces I had left and moved on. It worked for me, but I sometimes wonder about what do people do when that doesn't work for them? What exactly IS mental health and how do you know if you're healthy or nuttier than a fruitcake? And what is a person supposed to do if they can't afford to get any help? I think that is the bigger issue.

I think as Christians it's time to arm ourselves spiritually, mentally, and physically, because evil is alive and well and it's not just going to go away on its own.

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything , to stand..." Eph. 6:11-13

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What A Pill

No, not me. Well, yes I can be, but that's not what I meant. Ahem! Moving on.

I should start a whole series on the tales from Fred's work. I'm not sure how ethical that is but oh my gosh, the stories!!! They are rather epic.

How epic, you may ponder? How's this - lady came in to get some of her psych meds. As in medication for multiple personality disorder. Aaaannnd she threw a fit demanding to know why her meds weren't ready. Confusion was had by all as they remembered she had picked it up....yesterday. She didn't believe them and when they pulled up her file and showed her her signature she flew into a cussing fit. Turns out her other personality picked it up and signed for it.......under that personality's name. She told the staff under no circumstances was that person allowed to pick up her meds.

Wow! How do you explain that one? They had to remind her that this other person's name is listed on the approved list of person to pick up medicine.

My head ends up hurting trying to keep all the rules and regulations straight. And I don't even work there, which is a good thing because I have a feeling I would let my crusty broad self out and she would offend the masses causing me to get fired from the sheer number of complaints. But man what a day that would have been!

Similar case with a lady with dementia. She didn't remember picking up her medicine, cussed out the staff but then came back later in the afternoon to apologize when she found her medicine.

Those people you feel sorry for. But the cases where someone comes in pitching a fit wanting stuff for free? Well, that about sets Hubby pooh right off. So much so, that dude actually stepped his foot into it. I've made him tell me this story like 5 times now because I just can't believe that he would do something like this. Stuff like this never happens to him. Me? All the freaking time, but not him. I was so proud.

He said some guy came in asking for a blood pressure cuff. Fred informed him that they don't carry that and should check out a CVS, Walgreen's, or a medical supply store. The guy said, "They want me to pay for it."
Thinking the guy had left, Fred said to the other gals, "Wow. What a concept that a store wants you to pay for stuff. They must have been all out of the free stuff."  Before he could finish the guy yelled, "I heard that @$$hole!"

Crap like that happens to me all.the.time. So for Fred to stick his foot in it? Priceless! He didn't make any apology to the guy either which only made the guy angrier. Lot of dang nerve to come in pitching a fit that you have to pay for something.

Thank you, Congress! You have totally raised a bunch of idiots that want everything for nothing. Oh wait, that's what you do. Well, aren't you appalled by the competition?? Grr.

We've been having this discussion lately that we've noticed we have zero tolerance for people who refuse to get off their butt and do their part. Example, we were at stuffmart doing our thing when this group of people - I have no idea who was mom or friend and which kid belong to whom. I noticed on bumping into them at different areas of the store that the kids had no manners, was disruptive, and destructive. One boy was pitching a fit about wanting a skateboard, when he was told no he kicked the board sending it flying down the lane and ended up going under the shelves.

No one in the group said one word to the boy.

We get over to the dairy area and one little girl had a total and complete meltdown. I mean you had to go look thinking someone was hacking this poor child into pieces from all the commotion. Again, no one in the group of 6 adults said anything to the kid that was being murdalated. Up and down the aisle they went at a leisure pace with the screaming child in tow.

I'm not sure when exactly I snapped but I found myself saying waaaay too loudly, "birth control or paddle, pick one!" Fred, and a few other people, started cracking up laughing. And right at that moment the group with the screaming child came around the corner.

Talk about awkward. Why yes, I was given a dirty look. How could you tell?

In my defense, I was rather surprised they understood English. Judging from the hand gestures they understood exactly what I said, but I found it unfair that I didn't understand their reply because I was more than happy to have that discussion.

Dear Lord, someone better intervene because I have been getting a bit feisty lately.

I think I might be too touchy on the whole kid subject. I have busted my butt to make sure my kids behave so, silly me, thinks why don't other people do the same thing? If you won't discipline them, then don't have them. Fred was telling some of the gals this at work and they all thought it was hilarious.

I get kids having meltdown, having to do the mad dash to get the basics and get out before def con 4 was reached. What I don't understand is how no one in this group of adults said a blooming thing to the kid. At one point they just stood there talking while the kid hit pitches that would have caused a dog to have seizures. And this went on and on and on for over 20 minutes.

My eye twitch showed up and according to Jared, I had a look that could have melted metal. I think it was because they followed us up one aisle and down the other is what sent me over the edge. And after my snide remark, they went to a different area. I know because I could still hear the kid. But then again, we were in a Wal-Mart.

Fred said he's allergic to people. I'm either right there with him or I'm turning into a curmudgeon. Wonder if they make a pill to help with that?

Friday, December 7, 2012

Toss Your Head Back And Laugh

You know you need to. It's been a bit crazy here. I'm so over the school year - and it's only December. It was a hard week keeping everyone on track. Right now I'm just praying that the chemistry test will get done before dinner time. And that's all I have to say about that.

Stupid chemistry.

So as I'm battling the eye twitching, I finally have enough decent jokes I can pass along. I know, I haven't done this in a long time but honestly, I had some slim pickings. Sit back, laugh, and remember to take a deep breath and be thankful you're not taking or giving a chemistry test. Unless you're a chemistry teacher......then I feel sorry for you.

A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan.
He's making land minds that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.
He says prophets are going through the roof.
 

Farm kids in Minnesota: 

You can never underestimate the innovativeness of American Farm Boys:
At a high school in Minnesota, a group of male students played a prank.
They let three goats loose inside the school.
But before turning them loose, they painted the numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2, and 4.
School Administrators spent most of the day looking for No. 3.

 
Funny sayings:


1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:
    The ones that learn by reading.
    The few who learn by observation.
    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.  The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.



1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied,
'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'


2nd Affair:  
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child
he had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'

 

3rd Affair:
A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part
he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it,
stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'



4th Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.'

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted,
'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'


AND FINALLY:


The Clerk at Cabela's
 

A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.รก She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. 
The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses.
She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. 
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb. test line. It's a good
all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"

 As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. 

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally expels gas. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.


The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Well, ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."
She paid it and left without saying a word!!



Hope you had your chuckle for the day!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

This Just Isn't Going To Be Pretty

What could be so hideous you may wonder? My grocery bill that's what! I haven't even left the house and I'm already bawling at the sheer amount of money we're going to fork over to stuffmart.

Sheesh, if we didn't shop there for their low-low prices, I think we would be totally screwed.

And why is it that everything is needed? It's like everything waited to synchronize their watches to turn up empty all at once. If that wasn't enough, the sweeper did in fact, died. Anytime I turn it on, it sounds like it's trying to hack a live animal to bits. I'm pretty sure that's a sign that it's not working. And that's was after it belched out a cloud of dust all over the already dirty floor.

Lovely.

However, we won't have room for a sweeper so that will have to wait for a different trip. Not to mention one of the guys destroyed their sheets. Someone slid off the bed and grabbed the sheet to try to stop from falling and ended up ripping a hole in the middle of it. So it's looking like I'll have to do separate trips to stuffmart.

Oh, could I please?!?

Said no one E-V-E-R!!!!

But I have a serious lists of goodness to make. I'm almost afraid I've gained 5 pounds just by looking at the list. Don't even tell me to just take a few things off the list because we're at this stage where we can't do much, kids are all beyond wanting toys, and are only getting one big item. So snacks are pretty much all they have left to look forward to. So sad. Although, I'm concern the Hubby is looking forward to it more than they are. Dude gets seriously cranky until cookies start showing up.

And I'm the crazy one because why?!?!?

Pinterest has been awesome on finding new stuff. I have no idea how to link to my Pinterest page, besides I forget half the time to pin something. I either print it off, or write it down and then keep the goodness to myself.

Truly a wonder why I don't have more friends with such a giving attitude. *cough, cough*

Although, I'm still mad that I didn't get my mom's sense of decorating. I see all these pretty ideas and I tried once and it looked like a preschooler got into mamma's craft supply and almost glued her fingers to the centerpiece.

It wasn't pretty.

And thanks to Pinterest I now want a baby and a whole new wardrobe. Not like that's going to happen. Saturday we happened to hit Goodwill on like half off day. The guys all got some great stuff for not much. Epic score!! I, however, got a big nothing. I don't seem to do well at stores like that. There was stuff there but I was just eh. I need to be extra in love with something as I don't have much room left in my closet. I seem to have issues with parting with my clothes. I have stuff I should just give up and get rid of as in it's been years since I've worn it, but every time I go to do this I think, "well....maybe" and then shove the thing back in the closet eating up valuable hanger space.

Terrible!

But do you think I would ask Mr. I pitch everything to help me break this mysterious bond? That would be a big N to the O and go ahead and toss in a hell in there to. (That would be hell no, if you couldn't follow)

I've tried the bring something home, something must leave route only to have me just take something off a hanger and then proceed to shove it up on the shelf. I'm going to go out on a limb and say I don't think that's what it was supposed to accomplish.

Just another stroll down crazy lane.