Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I Take It Back

I was sudo/sort-of, but not really, complaining about all the cop activity over the summer. Even went so far as to joke about opening up a doughnut stand. I'm now thinking if this will keep the heat in the area, I am all for it.

The ghetto seems as weird as the weather.

The weather - it's rather crazy here. One day it got down to single digits, we had one day of a light dusting of snow, and today it's in the mid-60s. Not going to complain about that especially since Michigan got a bunch of snow last week. Gosh, it's been nice here.

{Evil cackling echos through the room}

Speaking of evil, I've found that the people of the hood tend to roll with the weather - cold weather equals the thugs stay indoors. However, nice weather means all bets are off. We got home from church Sunday and as we were getting lunch together, we heard a few gunshots which is nothing new but these sounded really close. Couple seconds later Tyrone and his right hand man Tiny (I say this as the dude is the size of a horse) came waddling out in their baggy pants.

I've also found out that they have to waddle to help keep their pants up. I'm not sure if this is what it means to have swagger. Anyone?

So Tyrone and Tiny are looking down an ally and just sort of hanging out and observing. I don't know what they saw, but they suddenly booked it and waddled as fast as they could - going in the other direction. Way to be obvious there, dog!

Lot of traffic for the rest of the day and you could tell something was up. And no, we don't go out of the house unless it's to run to the van or back. I've managed to just stick my arm out to get our mail. My dad asks if I've met any neighbors to which I am still saying hell no.

So Monday rolls around with guns a blazing at 7:30 a.m. If ever I was glad we picked to homeschool - it's now. Could you imagine how flipped out I would have been hearing gunshots knowing my kids were outside?

And yet again, I pray for God to deliver us from the ghetto.

Needless to say, the po-po has been all over the ghetto and I'm happy about that because everyone chills when the man is around. Which makes me wonder why are they only around after a big shooting?

Also found something else out. There is a group down here that basically feels that white people are the spawn of satan and they sell newspapers on the corners. We wondered why they never banged on our window and we sort of dubbed them the Tabernacle Times group......who apparently hate us.

Well, okay then.

One less person to not make eye contact with which I learned not to do back when the twins were babies. You make eye contact with people and they think it's an invitation to talk to you. I'm trying to figure out how Fred gets this go away or I'll kill you look because no one EVER approaches him. Note to self, work on frowning more.

So I was telling my folks all of this over the phone. I told them I'm not scared, I have street creds after all. I am, after all, the Big White Clucker (big old chicken) and I've never heard my mom laugh so hard in her life. I told her I'm hoping the twins, Chicken Fingers, and their brother, Chicken Nugget, will be able to escape the coop before the heat gets too bad. Hopefully, Big Red Rooster will be able to take our little flock to happier pecking grounds before long.

I really have no idea what I was saying but it sounded funny.

But the cop presence has thankfully gone to full alert and not 5 minutes goes by without the almighty presence driving by. I was also told I'm not funny when I start singing, "Let My People Go" I don't even know if that's the title to the song or not but I'm going with it. Personally, I thought it was funny. Besides, my butt is the one that gets to be here all day with nothing to do but housework. Oh, could I really? Could I really wash the dishes....again?

Squealed no one.

And what luck! It's time to go grocery shopping! Oi! This should be fun. Because I'm going to watch these guys like a hawk since last time we went, a bag went missing. And I only found out what was missing right when I needed that item. Makes for a happy cook....who cusses like a pissed off sailor. Not happy, Bob. Not happy.

Thursday, January 24, 2013


Can't say as I have much to say......today. And I find that sort of sad. Sort of feels like I have no life. Oh wait, I don't. So that explains it.

We survived my folk's visit. I was able to keep my eye roll to a minimum. Spent the week busy trying to catch up on stuff. We got the guys totally addicted to watching 24 on Netflix. Suddenly this explains why I have nothing to report. We've done nothing but watch Jack be Jack. And it is rather awesome but totally time consuming. But it's not like we have anything else going on.

Guys spent today working on a new song. Good stuff! Wonder what all they'll do and where they'll go with life. I think that's one of the reasons why I've pulled away from blogging. I feel like my time is winding down with them and I'm trying to cram everything I can into it. I feel pretty spent and that there isn't much left. Most days is just the usual - lather, rinse, repeat.

It's pretty weird uprooting yourself. There is a sense of newness, a fresh start. But there is also moments of panic of not knowing where I'm at or how to get around. Indy is a h-u-g-e city! We're only in one little slice of it. There is peace knowing that we're doing what we're supposed to be doing, excitement of what is around the corner, but this is me, so there is a bit of freakout going on but no where near the degree I was at before.

I guess progress has been made!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Apparently, The Ride Wasn't Over

We started back up with school this week and it has been a bear to get the train a moving! Personally, it's not blowing my hair back as the guys are the ones having to do all the work. I'm still baffled why music theory is giving one guy a hard time. I almost slipped and typed boy and it just hit me that he will be a man by the end of this year. Legally a man.

And now I will sob and have a really ugly cry-fest.

Speaking of ugly and crying, my folks are coming down for the weekend. There is a show at the fairgrounds and my dad helps out this BBQ sauce company and long story short, they need a place to stay. Since we live less than 5 minutes from the place I said yes. And I have been given several eye rolls.

I, being the sensitive person that I'm not, said to get over thy self and learn to be gracious, otherwise I'll kick you out of your bed and make you sleep on the top bunk in Jared's room so your grandparents could have your bed.

Amazing how fast the masses will snap to it when you are armed with reason and persuasion.

I'm trying to stay neutral. Right now, my folks are having a doozy of time dealing with my grandma and my dad's sisters. Everyone wants grandma settled but no one is agreeing on how that should be or when it should be done. All I can say is I am very thankful I'm not a part of it!  My mom is trying to stay out of it. She went round-robin with her sisters regarding her mom 15 years ago, so knows it gets messy.

On top of that, my folks are ticked off at their favorite grandchildren, because all they have done is make excuses as to why they didn't come to the funeral, or why they haven't come out to visit and why they keep changing when they'll be available, etc.

I'm surprised by none of it, but I do find it rather funny to hear my folks fume about it. Is it just me or hasn't this theme played out in the bible with sort of the same ending? Playing favorites doesn't end well. Period. I can tell my guys are trying to be gracious but that only goes so far. And now to hear their grandparents go on and on about how nice it was of them to be pallbearers has caused more than one round of eye rolls and a few fake gagging motion, complete with sound.

And that was just from me, so imagine their angst.

I bet Hubby is secretly happy he has to work this weekend. Except we got the guys addicted to 24 on Netflix and there were threats of watching it without him but now that we'll have company, those threats are now pointless.

And lest we forget this train is going sideways fast, found out my MIL is in the hospital with pneumonia, and a combo pack of sinus, eye, ear, and throat infections. She's been sick ever since Christmas. She isn't happy about being there as she's still paying off the cataract surgery she had done in the fall. She's been having a lot of problems with breathing for over a year. Hoping they can get to the bottom of it while she's in the hospital.

Not too thrilled with this bumpy ride, and it looks like it might be getting a bit bumpier. We might be moving. Mixed emotions on that one. Hoping to get out of the ghetto but the thought of packing stuff up and moving it all again? I shudder at the thought. Don't know yet.

But it's been a lesson in stop wringing my hands in complete worry as this produces nothing. However, I would like to point out that this is one scenario that I was worried about, so since I've been asked, repeatedly and from numerous people, if what I've worried about has ever come to pass? I can say yes..............dang it.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Talk About Emotional Roller Coaster

My grandpa passed away last week and Monday was his funeral. He was 93 and would have been 94 in the spring and summer would have been their 75th wedding anniversary. Talk about a legacy!

I wasn't super close to him. When I was little they were off camping and traveling so I didn't see them a whole lot, and then we moved up to Michigan and again, didn't see them on a regular basis. He used to call me Sadie Bell Hawkins. Yeah, I looked that up and I'm not sure what he was trying to say. The story goes she was so stinking fugly that no guy would come a courting so she went and got herself a man.

I'm not sure, but there should be some sort of emotional scarring there, but I have yet to identify it.

Or maybe he thought I was a go-getter and was going to get stuff done. Which I find that hard to believe as I take procrastination to a whole new level. Then again, I was looking at a lot of their pictures of me at various stages and I was a goofy looking kid. My mother cut my hair......and I think I should just leave it at that. And now I feel guilty that I cut the guys' hair, but they all ask to keep it short so I just use clippers. How hard is that to mess up?

But girl's hair? That is something totally different. And there was a bad summer where I tried using sun-in after a perm - worse case of fried hair. So there were a few pictures of me stuffed with too much fluff, braces, fried hair and 80s outfits. Brought me right back to that emotional scarring.


But the funeral wasn't super sad. He hadn't been feeling very well for the last year and the last few months he went down hill fast so honestly, it's a relief knowing he's not suffering anymore. It was a bit strange as it seemed like a normal family get-together with grandpa sleeping....only he wasn't sleeping. I told my dad I kept waiting for him to snore or gasp for air. It was weird.

I immediately noticed which hand was on top. He had lost his pointer finger as a young man which kept him out of WWII. Every grand kid got poked with that sucker if they were misbehaving, so to see old stumpy on top put a smile on my face. Michael, noticing my smile, said, "Well, now he's reunited with his finger so I'm sure he's happy about that". That got a good laugh out of us. 

The hard part was seeing my grandma. They were always a team and now the team is no more and I find that so sad. I've noticed that Fred and I seem to be more aware of each other since the funeral. I think we needed that reminder. The last couple years have been hard and so full of uncertainties that it's shaken us both, so much so that we've both had a hard time staying connected to each other. While we're working on it, it's still a good reminder that this is a team effort and it takes both to be present in the relationship instead of just retreating and/or hiding. And one person of this equation was doing all the emotional work and she, I mean me that person was tired of it.

Nothing like sitting there at a funeral getting a nice dose of perspective.

Grandma can't live by herself as she's legally blind. Downside is she doesn't want to leave her home and the last few days have been some epic battles. She is out in the country everyone has to go out of their way to come get her and run her all over the place. Trouble with that is that all her children are in various stages of not being able to do it.

I get her reasons - she said she'll mourn her house and I nodded my head that I understand that very well. But because of her vision being so poor, she'll have to learn a new layout and that scares her. She's feisty and if she can see beyond the grief of losing and change, I bet she'll go on for a few more years.

There are no easy answers and we're all praying for her to have wisdom, peace, and courage to do what needs to be done. And to do it quickly because I have a feeling she's going to drag her feet causing the whole thing to build. She even said she's going to be a royal pain in the butt about the whole thing. She wasn't joking and for her to own it this early in the game is not a good sign. I'm just glad I'm not the one that has to deal with it.

I can't help but think of my own parents and I have moments where I just shutter. Their latest is they ticked someone off again and got smacked with a lien and their already limited funds are even more limited. I think I'm taking the ostrich approach with them - shove my head in the sand and pretend they aren't there. So far, this is working rather nicely.

And I always seem to get these brief moments of perspective and brilliance as I turn another year older - which what is up with that? But that all the times I spend worrying about the next thing really doesn't matter in the scheme of life. I freak out about so much stuff and wonder how it's all going to work out that I waste so much energy I'm surprised I'm not worn out. It comes together, it works itself out, crap happens and you move on. My life does not make sense at all and I am so hoping that God is going to do something huge to make it all come together. I'm even hoping He'll say, "I love it when a plan comes together" because all I see are fragments of stuff.

A new year, a new age with new challenges. I hope it's a good year, I hope I win my battles, I hope I have the strength to carry on, but mostly I hope I put a smile on God's face as He says, atta girl!
Also hope He doesn't call me Sadie Bell Hawkins either. Just saying.

Thursday, January 3, 2013


Well it has been a busy, crazy, awesome time. Can not believe how fast time is just flying.

Apparently, all my goodies were a huge hit and I got a few thank you cards. Had a great time with my dad's side of the family. Neither my folks or the in-laws came to visit. My folks, I think, are up to something and that spells trouble and I'll just stay out of it. I'll leave off I've had a few bad dreams with all the what are they up too now and it better not cause a problem.

I, yet again, reassured myself I'm really adopted and have nothing to worry about. My folks were normal until the year I went off to college - they've been strange ever since. Maybe these people really aren't my parents and are just impostors.

Why yes, I have read a couple weird paranoia, mystery novels.....how did you figure that one out?

Visits with parents and in-laws can sometimes be stressful so to be without both sides.....it was stress free. 2 years in a row! Feel like I won some sort of jackpot.

The guys are having a good time. I have to admit that they both picked up the guitars really quickly and sound great. The bonus part is they are playing together. The same song - at the same time! Oh the happy in that statement.

At our old house, one kid would play one song downstairs with the other kid playing a different song upstairs. So the constant clash of songs equals noise and a serious eye twitch. I was worried I was going to experience this again but a bass guitar needs other instruments so no clashing has been going on.

And a loud sigh of relief was to be had!

We also surprised the older 2. We got them tablets. Their MP3s, for whatever reason, our computer stopped working with it. Can't see it, nothing I've tried has worked, and believe me I've tried! So we upgraded them and they have been over the moon happy. And then that moon was totally launched to a new level when Nicholas discovered a way how we could get existing music onto said tablet.

Dude is my techie - and Michael reaps the rewards!

We got Jared an i shuffle as his MP3 was also rejected by the computer. Had to use the laptop to get him squared away. I'm still having a bit of trouble loading music into the library on one computer and then getting the laptop to see it.

And it's statements like that to cause me to cuss like a drunken sailor.

But Jared has been happy with it plus with Nerf and Lego's. There have been two Nerf wars. I hear there will be another one this weekend. Somehow Hubby got the older 2 to play once - I think they were just so thrilled with what they got, they did it to be nice. I think the niceness has worn off.

I've had my cousin come hang out with us. I think I've made her my little sister. We got to go have some girl time and both of us let out a sigh of contentment as we both desperately needed it. I think I needed it more than she did but whatever.

We got 8 inches of snow day after Christmas and people were calling it a blizzard. We can't stop laughing about that one. Lot of ice - and for some reason people can't seem to figure out how to drive on it. We hear people spinning out at the stop sign all.day.long.

The new year was brought in by a ton of gunfire down here in the ghetto. It was rather epic. I found it odd that people felt the best way to say happy new year was to shoot at it. I bet these same people were surprised that someone got hurt from the flying bullets. But good to know - stay indoors when living in the hood or you could get shot from a stray bullet.

We took the guys to see the Jack Reacher movie. I've read enough of those books to pitch a fit that Tom Cruise got the part but actually he did a really good job. And a part of me feels weird for admitting that out loud. But fun was had by all so that's all that matters.

But looking forward to a new year and new opportunities!