Friday, April 12, 2013

The Annual Freak Out

I would first like to point out that ya'll are sick. I get like 75 hits on my post of yet another epic fail of a move, but when I post the lesson learned in the middle of it, I get like 13 hits. Really? The train wreck is that exciting, is it?

Well okay, then.

But back to my annual freak out. Can you figure it out or should I just assume you have no clue what dribbles out of my....fingers?

It's curriculum ordering time! Said with as much enthusiasm of the thought of getting an enema - from a total stranger.

Although, I can say this freak out has been the worst. Granted, I say that almost every year but this time it's for real. This order will be the last order for the twins. It will be their senior year. I am having a hard time with this for a couple reasons. At this stage of the game, there isn't much curriculum to pick out. We've done almost all of it. Science isn't their thing even though they actually are understanding their chemistry now. Even to the point that they are making thermodynamics jokes that fly over my head.

Hilarious.

They both get an A in the sarcasm department but I'm sure I'll leave that off their transcripts.

They've completed a lot of the required stuff to the point where I think they could graduate now but we haven't done a government/civics course yet. Since I've turned down my mom's offer to teach them government (don't even get me started), I think we'll get that covered in case she tries to add her 2 cents worth. I would like my children to actually know what the law says and not some mad conspiracy that never seems to work out the way she sells it.

But I digress. Or I'm making an effort to beat the angst down. Take your pick.

Foreign language turned out to be an epic fail for them, and at this point, we all decided it would be wise to just step away. I get an A for the effort but you know that old saying? You can drag a horse to the water, but no matter how many times you dunk his head and hold him under - he ain't drinking it if he doesn't want to! The same applies to school.

Kerri and I were talking about how overwhelming it all is and I added that after all that stress, praying and guessing on what to get, shell out hard earned money - you get to spend the rest of the year listening to someone whine and complain about some of it or all of it.

Why yes, I am still pissed off about it. Thanks for noticing.

I did mention that the pickings are slim, right? Because it is. Just in case you didn't get that the first round. This leaves electives and I have yet to find an underwater basket weaving group. I'll wait as you process that mental image through your head.

Switched On Schoolhouse is 20% off for the month of April. They actually have a couple electives that haven't caused the guys to roll their eyes back into their heads from all the angst of, like I want to study that because why?

Truly is a miracle that I have let them live.

I'm also going to have to space out what I order and when. Jared flew through all his science that I'm scrambling to get him stuff but he's dragging his feet on history. No need to order history when he's not ready for it. But he's mad about this because he was looking forward to next year's history. I told him then he should put in extra effort to get through his history and he asked why would he want to do that?

That banging noise you hear is me beating my head.

I'm also struggling because I can't help but wonder - did I do enough?!? I remember when we started kindergarten and how I was freaking out and wasn't sure I was up for this and now we're going to be facing our last year and while exhausted, I know I gave it my all. But....I still wonder, was it enough? Did I do a good job? I didn't kill them and they can read and write, so I'm thinking why, yes! Yes, I DID do a good job!!! And judging from current society, I'm thinking they are way ahead of the average knucklehead.

God has had to repeatedly remind me that my identity isn't in the boys. That I had to let them be free to make their own choices (within reason) and the freedom to make mistakes so they could learn from it. But the kicker is not to be devastated thinking my mothering skills sucked big piles of dirt because they made mistakes and made poor choices. Goodness knows, I've made my share of them. I was also encouraged not to give up either. I'm doing my job and trusting God with the outcome. And the strength not to kill them.

I heard someone say, raising teenagers is like being slowly pecked to death by a chicken. I don't why but it makes me laugh every time. There are days......it feels like it. I've had a few of them this week. Or maybe because we had more drain issues, plumber took forever to get out here, only to have more issues the next day.

It's been a week, I'll tell ya.

So I'm glad we are actually having a stay-cation this next week. I feel bad that after having to take a month off of school and finally getting into the swing of it - we are now taking a week off. We are so close to being done but, sadly, the motivation to finish is at an all time low right now. Believe me, that's saying something because we've hit some lows before.

Hoping to get lots of stuff done, not to mention some fun.

3 comments:

Julie said...

Good luck on finding some good curriculum!!!! Hope you find something they like. :)

http://multipleblessings.wordpress.com/

jubilee said...

I thought I had avoided the annual freak out. I was so confident about my curriculum choices that I ordered early. I was happy about how schooling went this year.

And then I got my girl's standardized test scores. uh . . . um . . .

Someone's been holding her back. I don't know if it's me or her. Or the curriculum. Let the FREAK OUT begin!

jubilee said...

I thought I had avoided the annual freak out. I was so confident about my curriculum choices that I ordered early. I was happy about how schooling went this year.

And then I got my girl's standardized test scores. uh . . . um . . .

Someone's been holding her back. I don't know if it's me or her. Or the curriculum. Let the FREAK OUT begin!