Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Cricket, Cricket

And that is more than the comment section.

Seriously, where did everyone go? I have tons of people viewing my posts but no one says anything? Well, okay then. I'll just sit here and watch my ego shrivel up some more. Actually, it's shark week as I'm now referring to that time of the month, so that may explain all the emotions and angst. I had cramps so bad it felt like early labor. I haven't experienced that in many, many years, so you can imagine my surprise and had to take pain relievers like they were tic-tacs.

Side note, don't call generic Tylenol - Tylenol, because some pharmacy tech snob will go off about how it's a totally different drug because Tylenol isn't Ibuprofen. And do not have the words to express how much I don't care that I'm calling it by the wrong name, just hand me the stupid thing to make my pain go away or I'll let you feel some of it. Ahem!

Bet you wished you were here.

You really wouldn't want to be because as my Facebook friends know - there is a cricket around here and we are at war.

The little twerp has been hiding out in the back area where all the storage and laundry stuff is at and I haven't been able to find him to put him out of my misery. For weeks, I just turn on a fan and it drowns out his happy little song as it won't shut up all night long. Gosh, maybe it's a female cricket. That might explain some things.

Anyhoo and what have ya, I gave the guys haircuts and had all the lights on in this area and didn't get them shut off until we were heading to bed. Crickets don't like a lot of light especially at night, so crawled it's way over to a shelf that was right near my side of the bed. And then sang like it was audition night for American Idol. Right near my head. All.night.long.

I think it was about 3 in the morning I started tossing shoes at the shelf to try and scare the thing quiet. It sort of worked.....for like 10 seconds and then away it went. By 4 a.m. I got up and in my sleep deprived mind thought it was in the shelf, so ripped everything off the shelf poised with shoe ready to send that diva to the great cricket chorus in the sky. I only ended up scaring the crap out of Fred.

Turns out the stupid bugger was behind the shelf that weight a ton and I couldn't move it. So there is Fred looking at me with his own bleary sleep deprived eyes, taking in the scene of my crazy self with clothes and things piled around my feet, shoe swinging through the air ready to strike while I cursed the bug's very existence. I'll give him credit that he didn't bust out laughing. He was probably too sleepy to put that much thought into it. But he did manage to ask what in the world was I doing?

I looked at him as I banged my shoe on the shelf that I knew that little jerk of a bug was hiding behind, waiting for the lights to go out again so it could sing it's second verse of "I Will Go On". He raised his eyebrow and asked again to which I replied it should be obvious that I'm trying to kill a cricket. A noisy cricket that won't shut up. I did look at him and started to say, since you are up, help me kill this sleep stealer but dude just flop back on the bed and quickly rolled over.

My hero.

I'm pretty sure I gave the bug some sort of trauma, because after I shoved everything back on the shelf, flipped off the light but kept a shoe close enough to zing it should the need arise, I didn't hear anything until it woke me back up around 7.

I'm sure I was a lovely picture of not with it at church. The Spackling that I used known as make-up had it's work cut out for it that day. I did sit there and sort of compose my message to the cricket that sort of followed the lines from the movie Taken. And that's how I ended up with "Dear cricket that kept me up most of the night - I have a very particular skill set that makes me a nightmare for insects like you. (It's called a shoe) Leave my house now and you can live. Otherwise, I will find you, I will kill you, and the last thing your cricket eyes will see is my face twisted in maniacal laughter as my shoe crushes your head...and everything else. You've been warned."

That night, not one sound was to be heard in any area of the house. Thinking victory was mine, I could feel my smugness rising to new levels. Until I went to bed last night where it was happily singing away back near the dryer.


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Vroom, Vroom!

The last few weeks have been speeding right by. Matter of fact, everything is going a bit too fast for me. I think Fred has given up how many times he's heard me say, "I'm not ready for this" to "I don't think we're old enough to be going through this" in just the last month.

We got the guys a car. They were too cute about the whole thing. We just got them their own set of keys and while it's been fun and exciting to see them on this next stage, behind close doors I'm just a wreck. I go from being over the moon happy for them to downright depressed. I think some of it was we're having to battle our car insurance company. They insist we have them covered on all our vehicles to the tune of 2,153 for 6 months of coverage. After I talked Fred off the ledge and he picked me up off the floor, we came up with plan B which is they can have their own insurance coverage once they're 18.

All this talk has turned to the guys getting jobs, phones, and opening bank accounts. Granted, this is normal and I had a paying job since I was 15 to a couple months before I popped them out, so felt we were behind on that curve. But since life has refused to cooperate with my plans and things being out of my hands, I shrugged it off. So now I feel like we have all these life lessons are screaming in and smacking me upside the head.

So not ready for all of this.

Plus, we've had a zillion things going on to boot. I've been canning relish, went to a book sale and a bridal shower, survived a few days with my mom, still a bit stiff and sore from another epic badminton marathon, and just finally got the last of our stuff ordered so we can start school here shortly.

No pressure.

Oh, and spent yesterday with my man as we celebrated our 19th anniversary. How is it even possible it's been that long? We've been getting a lot of requests for marriage advice lately to which we say find something to laugh about. There are some years I wish we could repeat, and some I hope never see the light of day. But no matter how bad I want to smack him upside the head with a frying pan, we both make an effort to find the funny. A stupid quote from a movie can sum up the whole situation but gets us both to laugh and take a breather, which is enough for us not to kill each other.

Although, I need some movie quote to help me cope with all this kids growing up thing. This is too much for me! I have a feeling this is going to be a crazy year and I'm not sure how to prepare for it. So far, denial is working. And lots of hours on Netflix.

Can I take a moment to tell you how much I love Netflix and how much I hate HuluPlus? And I mean like with a passion. Actually, I wouldn't be stuck with Hulu if Netflix would get on the ball and have all the seasons I'm waiting for but my denial level seems to require a lot, so to sit around waiting for a sweet forever of who knows when? - not working. Sissy got us hooked on Once Upon A Time. Bones will be kicking in which we spent the summer watching all 8 seasons. That was after we spent all winter slugging through all of 24.

Yes, I'm aware just how pathetic that sounds.

If you have actual suggestions for my denial and all it's freaking out, I am willing to slightly listen.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

T-T-Times Are Ch-changing!

Fresh new month with a now working dishwasher and in that few seconds of peace and calm, I suddenly realized I haven't finished my book order, nor finished grading papers to give the guys actually grades. Crap! And goodbye peace and calm because this tends to push me into this panic state of I'm not ready for school to start!!

And then I get mad because I feel like this thought just totally hijacked my August and it's not even a full day old. Which then makes me sort of curse school and all it's scheduling and stuff. This naturally causes me to question why do I even bother to homeschool. And we haven't even started the year and I'm freaking out.....again.

So basically since this is same thing, different year - I'm right on schedule in an odd sort of way.

However, this time I feel a slight glimmer of hope, because I think I'm having a serious moment. I was so happy about this place finally not needing someone to come work on it that I decided not to flog myself for slipping on a few things. Besides, we've been busier than normal and I think I reached this thing called I DON'T FREAKING CARE!!!

I know! I think I even scared the chicken part of myself.

There has been tons of stuff going on and if I were to list some of the great things, you know I'll get all long winded and ramble on and on and I'm trying hard to work on that. Probably because my lil Sissy is driving me up the freaking wall with giving me blow by blow details of her life. I think I sort of startled her when I interrupted one of her rants by saying, "And I gave you the impression that I care, how?"

 Nice to see I can still be a bit of a pill.

She's coming down this weekend so it's looking like a crazy few days are on deck. Plus, I had the brilliant idea of getting one of those cheapo outdoor fun pack from stuffmart. Fred took my brilliance and trumped it by 6 as he got some plastic pipes and cemented them in a couple of old ice cream buckets so the poles can slide right in and the net is always stable and steady.

All together - dang, he's good!

But we have been having a blast doing badminton. Once we finally got the hang of it, we've had hours and days of fun. So much fun that some of us have been really stiff and sore and was a little happy that it rained and we couldn't go outside to play for a few days.

Stop pointing fingers - yes, I was one of them.
And no Fred wasn't the other one - jerk.
I keep waiting for some sign of aging to appear on him and other than he's still carrying a few pounds of Christmas cookies that he used to burn off by now, that's it.

But we have discovered none of us are competitive enough to dive for the birdie to get the point. We don't even keep score. I've been told we aren't normal. Eh, we're too busy having fun to noticed. Either that or I'm still too busy with some nasty skeeter bites to pay any attention.

Although, I wish the skeeters would eat the neighborhood delinquents. We've had for the last couple months of getting punked by some neighborhood kids. We've had firecrackers tossed in our mailbox, our recycle bin dumped over, and last night they banged on our door at 3 a.m.

Fred refuses to let me have the paintball gun. 1) it's out of air, and 2) we all know since I'm involved, chances of this going epically wrong are at a high probable. He wouldn't even let me pull it out to threaten the little jerks.

I did get a little bit of revenge. Last time Sissy was down, she wanted Taco Bell so we made a quick run to the boarder and came back. She had backed into the driveway and we were sitting there talking as the sun went down and the pack of hooligans came waddling out. I'm not sure what the deal was but the dude that tossed the firecracker in our mailbox started to head towards us. It was dark enough that they didn't see us. Sissy had heard my angst about this group so when the dude lumbered towards the house, she turned on her lights and hit the horn! It was epic! Dude stopped dead in his tracks and then took off running as the rest of their crew scattered. We hadn't heard anything from them since until last night. I can't wait for their school to start so they'll leave us alone. 

However, this is sort of a bittersweet moment of being the twins' senior year. Hard to believe, but there were many years I thought it couldn't get here fast enough. I want to be done ordering books and grading papers. I want to be free to pursue some other things. It's been extremely busy getting teenagers all together. A weird balance of life experiences and book knowledge. Times of rubber meeting the road and stuff they know and having to walk it out. Lots of prayers, lots of unknowns, but a sense of newness just around the corner.

I'm reading a book called Bittersweet by Shauna Niequest. Her comment caught me a bit off guard. "Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, earthy."

I like that!

For some reason that struck a cord with me. There are days I feel like I'll never be fully rid of bitterness so to see it in a different perspective was thought provoking and a little bit inspiring. Off to go read some more! I have been burning through books, so I am in my happy place.