Tuesday, December 16, 2014

How TO Lose Track Of Time In A Really Boring Way

Otherwise known as life. This being a grown up stuff really sucks. And what's worse is trying to encourage your children to roll up their sleeves and jump in is challenging especially when you have one that's looking at the murky water of adulthood asking about bacteria. (Tarzan reference)

Pesky questions.

Work has worked me like.....well....a dog. The holiday rush that they tried to prepare me for? Yeah, wasn't prepared. And the nastiness that spewed forth from people? Ba-humbug! I've been pulling 38 hrs a week for the last month and I am beyond exhausted. I have to have my left ankle wrapped all the time and IcyHot is my new perfume of choice. They said this is the last week of crazy. What sucks is the store is just trashed and we can't keep up with it. My ONE day off this week has me sitting here blogging doing laundry and getting ready to go grocery shopping. Only to come home, put it all away, and then tackle more laundry and get all the work shirts all ironed. Such a glamorous life I don't live.

I'm told I'm a ray of sunshine at work, so clearly I have them all fooled. And on an even brighter note, the jerk co-worker quit right before Black Friday. Not like I'm surprised, but I had a hard time containing my glee.

Speaking of glee, the in-laws didn't make it out for a visit. I was so exhausted that I was really relieved. And then I felt bad for feeling that way, but then got over it and then warm and gooey feelings arrived when it dawned on me that we had the whole weekend to do nothing. We had an epic Netflix session and got all caught up on a couple shows. Then we hopped over to HuluPlus to get that all out of the way, because we really are that sad. However, we enjoyed every second of it so I'm not really sorry about our level of slackerness that we achieved. Hey, go big or go home. Since we were already home, we did it epic style.

Although, I want a new home. I came home from work the other night to tons of cars and cops everywhere. I'm sort of skert Tyrone and Skinny Pete have expanded their territory as there was a shooting 2 doors down from us resulting in a dead body. It was late at night. Guys said they heard the shots but didn't see anything. Not like they looked but said the shots were really loud. The news said it was a robbery attempt. Not sure if the dead guy is the robber or the robbie - either way this has only intensified my desire to move by a brazillion. As if I needed the encouragement. But I still ask God why the heck we're here in a big city when we aren't a fan of big city life. Not like I want to go back to Michigan, but can't say as I'm a fan of all of this either. Those ruby slippers hasn't produced much results. Wonder if they need new batteries?

The guys got all their driving hours in. (Hooray!) Only to tank their driving test based on parallel parking. Seriously?!? Who even parks like that anymore? Personally, I thought it was stupid to fail them based on that. She did say they are still a bit timid, which I sadly agree with and can't figure out what the deal is or how to fix it. Fred was the same way at their age. So while part of me is well they'll get there, the other part of me is slightly convinced the male species is a sad species that needs to get their butt in gear.

Lot of praying for them. God has to keep telling me to chill out about everything because I want stuff done already and by yesterday thank you very much!  Blah! Our family motto has been for years is We'll Get There! I'm sort of concern that our mascot might be a slow moving turtle. Not just a normal turtle but an extra slow turtle. If I shove a stick of dynamite in it's shell will this speed things up a bit?

Speaking of slow, Fred finally got through all of his training at the hospital. I think that pushed him beyond his endurance of patience. But he finally did it and has been in the I.V. room all this week. He was able to quit Menard's and we've actually seen each other for more than 15 minutes 2 days in a row. Kind of nice since I like his face and all.  He showed me a picture of some of the equipment and my goodness! Get that man a crazy wig and he could be a mad scientist! Way too complicated for me to figure out, but this is me who still has to remind myself it's i before e except after c.

I'm working like crazy to get my mom's gift made. I made myself a scarf with my loom and she said that would make a wonderful Christmas gift for her. Ha! Wrong color for her coat so I'm working on another one for her. Trouble is I don't think I have enough yarn because I still can't figure out how much yarn I need and last night I was digging through the bin and I don't see the same dye lot number so I'm thinking I might be screwed. Or I just don't care and I'll roll with it which is starting to look like what I'm going to go with. But they are crashing our party on Christmas Eve so I got to get moving.

J is on Christmas break. I'm feeling slightly guilty that I didn't even know he was that close to being done. Matter of fact, he finished all of his history - for the year. Sooo looks like I need to make a quick order here or some time before the year is over with.

Ugh. Life is going too fast for me right now.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

A Bit Of This And That

How is it even possible to be near the end of October??? I think I am now convinced that there aren't enough pills to keep things normal. However, I seem to be doing a bit better with all this juggling. Which means I actually have good days where I'm not a hot mess and sobbing in a corner.

I'm only able to cram in a paragraph here and there between everything else going on. It's probably a good thing I don't have time to blog because I'm sure the last thing you want to read is me whining about how many people out there who don't bother to do math. Or about rude people in general who seem to think I have magical powers to override the system and give them what they want for what they want to spend.

As if.

I think the worst is when they want to argue about the price of fabric. I can not even begin to tell you how often people will yell and scream that the sign said it's for 5 a yard and you have to repeatedly point out they got more than a yard so it's going to be 5 times however many yards they got. The look on their face when they finally get it is rather priceless. They won't apologize for their behavior, but the egg is clear to see all over their face. Those long lines that people complain about? It's from lots of people who want to argue over their total. Either that or returns which take forever. We had one day where there were 72 returns. Really people, really?

Had a lady come through the line that got a lot of floral stuff all covered in glitter. When I got done, I looked like Tinker Bell kicked me through the goal post of life. The guy behind her refused to go to my register because he said if he came home with any more glitter on him again, his girlfriend was going to kick him out. How sad is this? Someone had to explain it to me what he meant. And if you are a shut in like me who had no clue - let me soil you with that information. I guess, um, certain types of, uh, bars have their dancers waitresses that use body lotion with glitter in it. And if said dancer waitresses gets to, um, close that glitter might just jump right off and attack their clothes.

I think I could have lived a long life without knowing that information. And I was so close too.

But I was told that this is just the beginning of the holiday mad rush and to brace myself for the nasty behavior that is about to pour forth from stressed out shoppers. Lord, help us!

I think I may need to start finding something else to do. I've had to do a lot of closes this last week and it can be brutal. Putting everything back and straighten up a huge store after having the masses shove and cram stuff all willy-nilly seems to take forever. And it never seems to end. Much like our laundry and dishes only, times it by a brazillion. It also doesn't help that there is a co-worker who is being a royal pain. I don't know why she has it out for me, but she does and I find it beyond annoying. It's weird because she acts like she likes me but then she'll ask me a loaded question and then goes on the radio and says, "Joanna doesn't know what to do about this. Could someone please tell her."

Oh yes, she did.

I'm going to point out I've been working there longer than she has and know a lot more than she does, but she wants to act like she's my manager and wants to tell me what to do. Which is funny because all the managers hate her. She makes sure to get to the go back cart so she doesn't have to do trash or the bathrooms. If I have to do a lot of closes with her I'm thinking of staging a revolt.

Although, I think I might have just found a solution to all of this. I was asked the other night if I would be willing to come in at 4 am and help stock shelves. While my little night owl self cried, I carpe the diem out of that situation and said yes! I won't be around the annoying co-worker, and I won't have the horrible masses to deal with, because there have been some nasty people lately who are under the impression that the world revolves around them and them only.

FYI, they aren't amused that I missed that memo.

I think I might have to pull an all-nighter. Last time I had a 5 am shift I was really out of it. Think I'll take a nap the day before and just stay up all night and then crash when I come home. Except that's the day of the book sale and I still don't know if the in-laws are coming out for a visit for the twins' b-day.

Lord, do what you can to be merciful to me!!! Amen!

In other news, I started loom knitting. One of the regulars who came through my line talked me into trying it. Thank God for YouTube because I'm able to figure this stuff out. My employee discount is helping me out big time because I'm starting to have a yarn obsession, which is funny because I really don't know anything about yarn. Note to self: start learning yarn speak.

And the guys are finally getting this whole driving thing down and we are just a few hours away from being done. I'm not sure who is more happy about this - N or me. Turns out they are way better at highway driving than in town driving. What's the deal with that? It's all the same stuff only going a lot faster. They said there are no turns and curbs, all straight driving. They have discovered the beauty of cruise control and they are a huge fan. Too funny!

Me working has forced them to step up in a lot of ways. They both have had to help J with his school work. That hasn't always gone very well because J refuses to listen to anything they have to say. It doesn't help that how they explained it went over his head. Had to sit them all down and suggest an easier way to deal with all of it. The twins told me later that it was really challenging to put it in a way for him to understand and they had no idea how I've done it for years. All I could do was smirk. And now when I do leave for work N is very fast to say, "we appreciate you!!" as I'm going out the door. See? They do get it. It just takes them taking on stuff to realize I do know what I'm talking about.

The brake line went out in their car and we had an interesting time of juggling every one's schedule on when to drop it off and pick it up. I will say it again, I don't know how women are able to successfully juggle home life and a full time career. I told the head manager if I had her job I would be a slobbering drunk who cussed everyone out for being stupid. She thought that was funny and said you just learn to mutter it real quietly so it sounds like a mumble instead of saying it out loud.

That made me laugh!

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

This Is Your Captain Speaking

Thank you for flying Bug Air - where you really don't have much of a choice.  Um, unless you click on that button on the left to leave this page, but whatever! That's besides the point!!

Your Captain would like to point out some of the views to your left and your right of whatever this is that we're flying.

The Captain will admit that things have been a bit bumpy these last few weeks. That whole balance everything at once has proven to be harder than what it looks like. You may recall that juggling is a bit of a stretch for me as in I can't, but so far I'm faking it. J is back into the swing of school. M and N are holding down the fort handling their own duties, and a few nights out of the week are actually cooking.

(The Captain is still smug about this for some odd reason)

This blog has been neglected and I think I blew dust off of my Pinterest account. I had this whole blog post about how I really wished I never introduced my MIL to Pinterest because she is one of those people who will pin 185 pins to one board at a time. Right now she is averaging 3 boards a day. I think I've unfollowed like 20 of her boards but she keeps clogging up my feed that I just stopped going on it. Tragic.

Oh look. Another thing for my MIL to ruin. Wait, did I just say that out loud? Why yes, yes I did. Be glad I never posted the blog post and we'll leave it at that, m'kay?

On the right side of the....whatever, you'll notice that pile of mess is a lot of stuff I just can't get to until I get a day off. I find myself cramming in a bunch of stuff on my days off trying to keep ahead of things. I've never been that great of a housekeeper and I'm behind on that. One of the guys wrote in the dust "clean me" so I wrote back in dust "get rag and do it yourself."

Except now that I think about it, I've done that before so I guess I don't have much of an excuse. Oh well.

There has been conflicting schedules that we've been trying to balance as well. Some days I feel like I'm trying to herd a bunch of turtles and other days it seems like I'm hunting wabbits. I've had a couple snafus and feel like I just can't do everything. Which I can't. I'm not even trying. But I still feel like I'm letting the guys down and I'm not even sure why I feel that way. Weird.

We've had more issues with the neighborhood jerks. The little punks (who are younger than J) have gone from banging on our door, knocking our trash over, putting firecrackers on the porch to now throwing rocks and breaking windows. And added bonus, the landlord is taking their usual sweet old time to do anything about it. Hope they get it done before the snow flies.

I'm not sure if it's Hoosier manners or if people really need their eyes checked or what, but no one believes the guys are our kids. Fred and the twins get asked all.the.time if they're brothers. And Sunday we checked out a new church and was asked if were a group of college kids. Then we were asked if we were foster parents because they didn't believe we were old enough to be the biological parents. Wasn't even sure how to respond to that one. Don't get me wrong, we all had a good long laugh over that one but seriously.

I'm now concern I'm using too much paint and glue to hold it all together.

I told my mom I must have frozen my face into a 'please tell me more' look rather than what I'm thinking which is 'go away before I hurt you'. Not really sure how I got those two looks mixed up. I've even tried to practice my Fred face which is a scowl. So far, I am not nailing it.

And work has been....interesting. I don't even know where to start. Seriously throws me for a loop that people behave like spoiled brats. So far, I haven't gone off all sarcastic on anyone, which I give all credit to Jesus because there have been a handful of times that I was ready to send the person to meet Him face to face. I will say it's a weird experience to get cussed out by a little old lady. Not sure if her Depends shifted the wrong way or if she mixed up her denture cream with the Preparation H but w-o-w.

Don't even get me started on people who just shove things in random areas and I've heard many a person say, "so what - that's their job." Here's the thing with that - there are a ton of little stuff that we can't keep on top of and since lots of people have all decided it's someone else job to pick up after them and put stuff away, it doesn't always pan out. Closing is hard because trying to put all that stuff back takes a long time. Being on my feet all day and then walk all over the store to put it away has kicked me right in the muffin top which is probably a good thing. Too bad I still look like a busted can of biscuits. Or maybe that's just how I'm feeling. I'm starting to get more endurance so that's good. Wasn't sure I was going to survive last month.

Had a lady change her mind on about 300 sheets of random scrapbook paper. I had to repent for wishing her an infestation of fleas in her unmentionables while I tried to put it all back.

What? I said I repented.

However, there are a lot of nice people that have been a true joy to wait on. And the creative ideas people come up with?! Oh my gosh!! Wish I could take notes on some of the projects people have told me about.

For the most part I would say things have been good. It's just been bumpy shifting gears. Some days I feel like I can do it and other days are epic pity-parties. And I'm not sure how to shake myself out of it either. I can tell I make a difference when I choose to be pleasant to people when all I want to do it give them a giant plate of sarcastic comments....and a seriously smack to the head. Its just those days where I feel empty and having a hard time getting filled back up that are the real challenge. I'm not a fan of those days. Because life doesn't slow down long enough for me to come in for a landing. Can't seem to get very far with nothing but fumes either.

So the Captain would like to apologize for the serious lack of blogging. However, I'm not even sure if anyone is still on board any more as there is a suspiciously low number of parachutes left.

Once again, thanks for flying with Bug Air.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Another Day In The Fast Lane

I had yesterday off of work and do you want to know what I did with my glorious day of freedom? A few loads of laundry and went grocery shopping. But first we had to go run a few errands.

Cue some form of music - as in the tense white knuckle kind.

I will not identify which driver was behind the wheel, but what I will tell you is he sucks at parking. And that the curb doesn't move regardless if he saw it or not. Straight parking has not been his friend, and angle parking I can't convince him to pull up to the freaking line so the butt of the car isn't hanging out in the lane. Because what would I know?!?

You picked up on that one, right? Good. Just checking.

While the other one is doing wonderful at parking, he still needs help going around the corner because he refuses to do the hand over hand thing, thus being extremely jerky going around a corner - going about 5 mph. Although he got tired of me saying give it some gas so he gunned it but was still jerky.

I'm not sure which is worse - the whiplash or stomping on the I wish I had a break pedal on my side that isn't there. I am slightly exaggerating because I usually say stop, stop, stop!! But there are moments I'm wondering if they are ever going to get the hang of this. And then the next time we have to go somewhere we'll have a smooth ride, everything is fine and it's like they've been doing this for years. When they're good, they are good. But when it's an off day? My emotions are not happy.

Let me tell you about those emotions too. They are slightly pissed because they feel all jumpy and vulnerable. Lot of ups and downs in the past few months and it's taking a while to readjust and do things different. I'll be honest, it's knocked me for a loop, but I really don't have time to process it. I just have to roll with it. I was restocking shelves the other day and it was all the dorm stuff etc. and it hit me - hard - that the guys could have left this week for college. I drove home trying to not have an ugly cry fest because highway driving is nuts here. And when I got home, the last thing I want to do is bawl my head off about something that didn't happen because I sort of get mocked for doing it.

Example: it was pointed out to me that I'm being ridiculous for getting emotional over something that didn't even happen, and I should save it for the proper time because it is going to happen soon. However, if that boy doesn't lose his I know everything attitude, I'll will give him a major dose of reality and mail him his clothes. The extra comment about me needing chocolate did not help him in anyway, shape, or form. He complained to his dad about all of this and hearing what man-child said, the dad winced and replied, "bad call, dude."

I knew I liked that guy for a reason.

As if all that happy juice wasn't enough, youngest had a major teenage angst marathon where everything everyone said, and did, annoyed him. Had to sit him down and have a major talking to all while I tried not to pelt him with Hershey kisses. I think I was the only one who found the irony of this that I was telling him to knock it off while tossing him chocolate. Ping! Stop it! But I love you - muwah! Ping! But seriously - stop. Ping!

If I make it out of all of this alive, I hope the eye twitch and the tourettes will go away.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Well That Was Surprising

Went to a family reunion and actually had a good time. Was the first time I didn't walk away with this overwhelming desire to slit my writs and end my existence. Guess there is a first for everything, so that's always a plus. Oh I kid. I'm a firm believer in sticking around if for no other reason than to piss people off who don't like me.

I have no idea if the guys had a good time because I ditched all of them and hung out with the ample amount of females that are in this clan and soaked up the estrogen. I felt slightly giddy from the hormone buzz.

But what shocked the snot out of me was everyone was telling me congrats on the guys. One cousin got me a gift and a touching card, and I heard my praises being sung for homeschooling. I was touched, surprised, and just a wee bit confused. These were the same relatives that have been telling me what a huge waste of time my life has been and how I was screwing up my kids. For years I've been hearing all the negative. Now on the other side of it, everyone was applauding my effort, saying what awesome men I have raised, how brave I have been through it all, and how they admire me.

Um, okay.

I had this moment of panic that I was at the wrong house with the wrong people until I saw my mom grinning at me. She actually winked at me. She heard all the same negative stuff from all the same people about me, so in a way this was a nod to her too.

I found myself trying to figure out what flipped everyone's switch. So far I've drawn a complete blank. Fred didn't escape either. Everyone was impressed that he "reinvented himself" and did a different career choice. Although I did kick him when he told one cousin he was a drug dealer. She doesn't have much of a sense of humor and judging from the look on her face, she thought he was serious. Then he got asked all kinds of questions about different medicine that they were taking. After hearing what all everyone was on and for what, I'm thinking maybe the side effect was the culprit to losing all the judgmental comments.

Jury is still out on that one.

The guys got asked all kinds of questions like what are you going to do with your life? They replied they are doing the gap year thing to give themselves some time to hear from God and try to get everything all lined up. I was braced for the negative comments and was a bit surprised when none came, and then grinned like proud momma hen when everyone said that showed a huge sign of maturity on their part. I was able to restrain myself from running up to Fred and doing a chest bump. But only slightly.

But that is off the checklist and on to the next hurdle. And that hurdle has the name of schedule and is it one big mean sucker! Someone is coming and going just about everyday. We had to brave stuffmart because the pantry is at an all time low and this is my only chance to get there since that schedule thing morphed into a giant mutant monster. Part of my brilliant plan was to get a dry erase board to help keep everyone on track with what all is going on. Now toss that brilliant plan out the window.

Why, you don't wonder? So glad you didn't ask because now I'm going to tell you. I couldn't find a white board. Found neon blue and green boards. Black boards, even a red board. But no white. Silly me thought the markers that the same company was selling would show up on their product.

That would be a big NO.

Now I have a black board already on my wall and markers desperately trying to tell me the schedule but sadly the black board is having none of it and is keeping everything a big mystery.

I now get to find pastel markers in hopes to see how crazy busy we are. Although, I'm starting to wonder why I'm even bothering. Work keeps calling me every.single.day as they don't have enough cashiers to cover stuff thus throwing all my plans right out the window. I'm still trying to recover from the weekend so I didn't bother to answer when my phone rang at 8 am.

Good-bye sleep! I'll miss you!

I have this annoying feeling I'm going to get another call tomorrow morning to see if I'll work. I might do it if the hours are daytime, but I'm not signing up to close on purpose. I'm still trying not to dry heave from having to clean up the bathrooms from closing this last weekend. I'm starting to hope there is a place in hell for people who refuse to clean up after themselves in public bathrooms. Has society really come down to gosh I just can't push the button to flush because I'm too important and therefore my sh!t don't stink? Really?

*shudder*

I will say I am so glad I didn't have to balance a job and homeschooling. When the kids were little and money always seems to be tight, I often wondered if I should get a job. For me, I'm not wired to do it. I come home drained and have very little patience to hear what the guys have to say. I'm glad I was home and gave them my all. They aren't always going to be little or even around, so I have a lot of peace that I did the right thing. Why, oh why, did that take so long to show up? Having spent years questioning if I was doing the right thing and not really knowing to now knowing, sort of makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Oh how I wished I would have walked in the moment and been more at peace than to question every step of the way worried! Also wished I could have held off doing this for a couple more years, but it is what it is.

Schools are starting up around here next week. J and I just laughed and laughed because we are still a month away before starting back up with him.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I Knew It Was Going To Happen But...

I'm still amazed at how many times people feel the need to comment on my name while at work. While I can't actually say the name of the store, I'm hoping you can figure it out. Otherwise, I bet you are one of those people who have this ability for stating the obvious. You might also want to find another blog because I'm pretty sure you won't understand most of what I'm saying anyway.

Case in point, I was on hour number 6 of working. The place was a zoo, I was holding my own but was tired. I've been told by several people that I'm a very pleasant cashier. I'm sure those happy statements will fade away if I keep getting Captain Obvious strolling up to my register. His girlfriend put her items down for me to scan and I could just feel the comment bubbling up his stupid chute ready to explode out of his pie hole.

CO: "Hey! Your name is Joanna!"
Me: "Yup. Have any coupons today?"
CO: "You're so stupid. Why would you work here? You need to go work at a different store."
CO Girlfriend: "Knock it off. You're not funny."
CO: "So do you get confused and answer the phone wrong? I bet that would be funny."
Me: "Actually, I keep forgetting what my name is so I thought working here would help my cognitive memory. But thanks for pointing out my mental issue."
CO: "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I was only kidding!"
Me: smirking "So was I."
CO: "Wait. So you can remember your name?"
Me: "Unless I grabbed the wrong name tag again...."
CO Girlfriend: "Would you just leave her alone!"
CO: "Well good luck with all your issues."

Oh buddy! You have no idea. I could have been a horse's arse like you! I didn't even say that out loud, so as far as I'm concern - this was truly a huge moment for me.

I think I can maintain composure for like 5 hours. After that - not so much. By hour 8 I think I actually called a guy Captain Obvious. I can't remember, it's all a blur right now. Huge moment gone.

So....

I'm surviving. I no longer come home and just stare at the wall thinking about back flipping into a pool of despair. But that may be because I haven't worked all week. I don't know if it's a goof with the schedule or what. I can't get a hold of any of the managers to find out. Maybe it's to let me recover from last week? Highly doubt it, but don't know what else to think.

It's been a bit overwhelming to keep numbers and stuff straight. About the time I get the hang of it, I'm on to something else. Sunday was crazy register day. It was crazy but me, being me, was able to handle it and seem to entertain people while I was at it. I actually like doing the register. I was put at the cutting table last week and if I'm honest and open, my mind slid to the dark side and thought of just cutting myself up and mailing the remains home.

Let's just say - I didn't get the hang of it and leave it at that, m'kay?

Actually, no. Let's just go there. I felt my brain giving up the will to take in oxygen. I could not get the hang of cutting the fabric. I could handle the devise and ringing up the ticket, but could not get the fabric to work with me. I was all thumbs and couldn't keep my hand on the fabric the proper way. It sat there totally mocking me too. It shimmied, it slid off mark, and pretty much was like a slippery wet baby that was not going to be contained.

It was felt. The most unslippery fabric out there.

I was dreading this, and before you say I jinxed myself, I would like to think I had some discernment and already knew where my weakness was at....and it was the cutting table.

Nemesis - thy name is fabric.

The only thing that redeemed last week was I got to straighten up stuff and return things to stock in the scrapbook area. I was a happy camper for the last hour. Until people started asking me where stuff was and I had to stand there and say, "I have no idea." and try to slink away before they asked me another question showing just how much I didn't know. Granted, this was only like day 2 of actually doing things, but it is pretty much sink or swim type of environment.

I'm not sure where I'm at in that equation. Feels like sinking.

But I would like to state that I am now convinced my man is not even human as he thrives on working. And dude can work 14, 16, even 18 hour shifts. I would also like to state I now feel like an old used up dishrag. I don't even have any chocolate on hand. Tragic on so many levels.

I'm actually surprised by all the reactions I've been getting on Facebook. I haven't had a paying job in 19 years and I'm not thrilled to be doing this but don't have much of a choice. My phone about wore itself out from all the notifications and emails of people wanting to know what's up. I had some people give the impression that they are relieved that I'm finally getting off my butt and making an effort in society, and then on the other extreme people are dismayed that I'm giving up on being a mom.

Seriously?

I'm not sure if I've isolated myself to the degree that I'm surprised by unsolicited advice, or if it was an ill-timed comment when I'm not sure how I feel about all of this myself. Depending on the day, and the mood, I have a different opinion. I sort of feel at war with myself.

It doesn't help that the schedule is all over the place. I understand it takes time to get on the schedule etc. but keeping things running smoothly on the home front takes planning and all this juggling has been hard on my nerves. Everyone keeps telling me I'll get there and it'll be old hat. Just not sure how I feel about the hat.

Monday, July 7, 2014

It's A New Day

I'm not entirely sure what type of day it will be but it is new. I sort of felt bad for making it sound like the guys aren't doing well driving, which the fact that I even felt guilt for expressing what I was feeling in a moment should tell you the paranoia is still alive and well.

They are doing fine. It just takes practice. And squeezing in all these extra minutes here and there has proven to be challenging. Toss in the fact that the car insurance company has raked us over the coals - times 2 - and then come up with paying for gas on 3 vehicles all while Hubby is still in training and hasn't seen the raises yet has left us scrambling. All that equals up to this chic went out and snagged a part-time job. So did Hubby but that's for another story.

Dude is part cyborg and I honestly don't know how he does it. I'm freaking out about juggling everything and he works like a dog and doesn't bat an eyelash. He works full time at the hospital and part-time at a Menard's in the evening. The guys mowed the lawn yesterday and Hubby went out and raked the whole yard, logged in more driving time with the guys, it was his night to cook, and he worked a 4 hour shift. And this is his weekend off from the hospital.

I am not worthy to carry his slippers.

But all of this has caused a lot of feelings to come bubbling up. I knew I was an emotional mess but holy smokes! I feel like I'm getting tossed all over the board here! Honestly, if I were try to put it all out here of what a hot mess I've been over it, your eyes would give up the will to read. It's been hard on me and right now I'm freaking out about scheduling and getting everything done. The thing I'm sort of steamed over is I just got all the transcripts done, just felt like I got the guys squared away and now I'm off to a job and leaving it to them to hold the fort down. Part of me is having a hissy fit because when was I going to have some ME time?

And I'll wait as you catch your breath from laughing hysterically.

I told myself all winter long to hang in there, the older guys were almost done and that is one huge check off the list, and then I could focus on some other things. Ha! That was funny! Except now I'm mad at myself and feel like somehow I should have seen this coming (I didn't) and that I should have planned better. If I only had a nickle for every time I thought that!!

It's kind of hard too because everyone is so excited for me because and I quote "it'll get you out of the house". I'm sorry, but have you seen the people that are out there? And you want me to go be a part of it because why??? And judging by people's reaction they seem to think I've suffered being at home and are totally blowing off how upset I am over all this change.

Hey! Guess what? I STILL DON'T LIKE CHANGE!!!!

It's a fabric and craft store and if you squint, my name is in it. I think this is the only place I could survive at since I've been doing crafts forever. The funny part is I hate to sew. All thanks to an unfortunate bobbin incident when I was in junior high taking a home ec class. (I couldn't get the stupid machine threaded no matter how many times I tried. It was pitiful. I even looked at the teacher and said just hand me my failing grade now and put us both out of our misery. Hard to believe I redeemed myself in the cooking section and was the only reason I even passed.)

I sort of begged to not have to be near any of the sewing and when asked why I said sewing machines can sense my fear. They laughed so hard and said I was hired. I'm not sure I'm going to get my wish.

Actually, funny story about that is - the night before my interview I was all over Pinterest to get ideas and what to say etc. I go in and I'm asked to tell a bit about myself and why I want the job. I got to the part where car insurance is the devil and they are robbing us blind so I need money, and the lady hiring was nodding her head and we ended up having a half hour rant about car insurance and it turned into 2 friends catching up over coffee.

Never asked me any of those questions I spent all my time preparing to answer.

Fred laughed so hard when I told him. He was on the floor gasping for air saying only I could skate out of answering questions and turn it into a social gathering. I'm not sure if I should be insulted. Personally, I think he's just jealous because he's not good on the social skills.

But thanks to modern technology, I got to do all my paperwork online. Cue some evil form of music because that whole mess was enough for me to give up the will to live. It took days to wade through all of it and after being on hold with tech support for a few hours all while I tried really hard to understand what the Sam hill they were saying, I'm pretty sure the eye twitch started its own theme song. I thought I had it all done as that's what the confirmation email said, but sadly I go on my first day only to have it say nope! We spent hours with more tech support and I was sent home to try and fix it on my end. More hours wasted, and a whole lot of cussing muttering, I think it's all fixed. But by the time this all got squared away, the managers had left....to go on vacation.

This is way too much effort on a job I didn't really want to get as far as I'm concern. And to top all that off, I feel like God has been extra giddy about this and I'm not sure what to make of that. Which I've had choice words for Him about this whole ordeal, let me tell you! Life has not gone according to plan. Every time I try to plan, it goes up in smoke. I think I keep hoping God is going to swoop in and fix everything and I'm finding He hasn't therefore He's not going to, so time to put on the trudging shoes and get on with it.

Oh trudging! How you never seem to really go away.

I'm sure this will give some interesting new blog fodder. Certainly looks like I'm going to need more therapy before this is all over with. Especially since they just called and I'm going in this afternoon. Oy!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

I Did Not Hit The Frappe Button On The Blender So What Is The Deal?

I think it is the month of June. I can only assume this because that is what my phone is telling me and I'm going out on a limb to trust that thing even though it likes to randomly shut itself off for no reason. Clearly, it has its own set of issues. Much like it's owner, but let's not go there.

I'm not sure if I'm happy we rent or irritated that we rent. This time last year for the 2 of you that read this drivel - we had no air and the dishwasher wasn't working and the bathroom they were supposed to fix was starting to grow interesting things on the wall. As in break out the hazmat suites!

Right now the air is blasting away that I'm wrapped up in a blanket. Hey, the basement gets really cold. Anyway, I digress.

We've had a lot of drain issues with this place. By ish-yahs I mean if I didn't babysit the washing machine the water would back up and flood the basement. And on those fun occasions where we get down pouring rain of biblical proportions, the basement floods. Where our bedroom is and the fa-game-a-den-off is located. (That's family room, game room, and den/office/school room all combined into one)

Fun times. Said no one ever.

We had an issue last month where we couldn't flush the downstairs toilet and sewage was starting to back up. Many calls were made and I am not a fan of the company the rental company uses to fix things since they took over 2 months to get anything done last year.

Like I said, I am not a fan.

The office gal and I had words last year and I heard from one of the workers when they finally got around to fixing the bathroom after sending out multiple guys to just look at the problem rather than actually fix it, that I was dubbed a pain in the butt. I smirked and said I've been called worse now do that dang job that was supposed to get done a month ago. Or something that was supposed to sound aggressive but sounded suspiciously like a chicken squawk. Although, my chicken feathers were starting to fly when it was the middle of July and still no air. What can I say? I got tired of these guys showing up at 9 am only to look around, make a list and promises of coming back and fixing it only to have days go by and repeat the process all over again. After the 3rd week, my clucking turned to cussing and it got done.

So all of that to say office gal and I don't like each other. When she called back to the emergency call of I can't flush the toilet, her response was "gosh, it's gonna be a week until we can get out there." I said wow, this is listed as an emergency and by law that means it's supposed to get taken care of within so many hours. She replied that she remembers this address and my number.....it's going to take us a week to get out there. Click!

Oh yes, she did.

I called the office manager and told her what was going on and she hit the roof. I highly suggested they find another company because they were getting bad service. Totally different company came out that evening and gasp! actually fixed the problem! No longer do I have to babysit the washing machine, although I still do because after a year of this, old habits die hard.

Turns out there are roots in the pipe. Do tell.
And the other handful of plumbers who came out never even got to the problem. What a shock.
He highly suggested not using that company again. Dude, you are preaching to the converted. Now go tell the office manager this information.
I didn't get to hear what the actually dollar amount is going to be but it was up there as they said there needs to be new pipes. Home owner doesn't want to do it. So far, they've only dumped root killer in the pipes. We haven't had any more problems so I'm hoping that fixed it. But glad I don't have to pay for it!

Now toss in some fun that the home owner bought this place at a tax sell and now has figured out there are issues and has been trying to sell it. There is a buyer so we've had assessors come and go. Maintenance people come and go. And the fun part is they only call Hubby's cell phone - not mine - so the person who is actually here and hanging out in her pjs has no clue someone will be showing up in T-minus 5 minutes.

I was in for quite a shock when one of the maintenance guys showed up who looked and sounded exactly like Ron White. I thought I was getting punked and almost asked if Larry the Cable Guy was going to show up next. Thankfully, I didn't go that far on sticking my foot in my mouth. I was barely able to keep a straight face while he was talking to me.

Nice to see I haven't matured very much.

I was sort of bummed as we had to sign another year lease, but it turns out it was a good thing we signed when we did because new owner was trying to figure out how to up our rent but can't until next year. Which we better be out of here or I think what is left of my patience will evaporate. However, the thought of moving in the middle of everything else going was more than I could bare. Me, being the delicate flower than I am and all.

No, seriously. There has been so much stuff going on that the very thought of mentally picturing packing up and moving caused me to have a seriously sob fest. It's been a stressful few months. Toss in my hormones are meaner than your hormones, and it left me in a deep fried mess.

The guys are still working on going around a corner smoothly. The other day, it wasn't and I feel like I'm in such a raw emotional state anyways that it was by the grace of God I didn't snap at them. Although I'm pretty sure the door handle will forever have my claw marks in it. Practice! Practice! Practice! I have more errands to run, so batter up!

I would ask for emotional support but at this stage just send chocolate!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Done!

It's too bad that last week flashed by faster than I could ask, "What month is it anyway?" But I am happy to report that I didn't break down sobbing like an idiot at church. Instead, I was the annoying person flashing several pictures to have people look at me like seriously lady?

I'm going to miss that church.

I laughed when pastor Randy looked at the boys and said, "Crap! I knew this was going to happen. Which one are you?" I find it funny. Nicholas is 2 inches taller than Michael. What do you mean you can't tell them apart? Michael has a mustache and Nicholas has no mustache. They have tried everything they can think of to give people a fighting chance. They have also come to the conclusion that most people are not too bright and don't observe very well.

I told them I didn't want them to get jobs at the same place. This is going to be a pain as far as juggling everyone's schedule, but they can't go to the store without it causing some type of reaction. I want them to have something on their own and not constantly compared to the other one or someone asking if they're twins.

But I wasn't prepared when they asked all the family members to come up too. So I wasn't able to get a whole lot of pictures. Oh well. It went well, had a good time, and a huge feeling of accomplishment is had by all. And for whatever reason, blogger won't load any of the pictures I'm trying to add of the special day.

Crud. How am I suppose to gloat now?


Now the fun part. I sent out graduation announcements. The trouble with this is - I have lost most of the address we had. I'm sure it's buried somewhere around here in a box, but try as I might - I haven't found it. I made a plea on Facebook that if anyone was interested in getting one to please let me know and I need their address. No one responded.

Okay then.

I was able to scrape together a list with actual addresses and mailed them out. And here come the nasty phone calls and emails. Actually, it's just my mom. I didn't send any to a lot of cousins. Part of me feels like why should I? I didn't send their kids a card for their graduation so why would they send one to mine? I figured no harm, no foul. I guess I was wrong. But I'm connected to them via Facebook so I sent messages saying wasn't my intention to blow anyone off and they all said it's good and my mom is being silly.

Wasn't the word I was going to use but clearly they are more mature than I am. *couch, cough*

On top of that, there are people we use to go to church with and even a few who read this blog and sadly I don't have addresses to send them one. And as an added bonus - I only have 7 left. I did bloody well ask people, this crap ain't cheap, and people really do suck and I've lost all faith in humanity a long time ago. (See previous posts for the last 5 years) so there is that.

Sorry. But you like never call, you never write, you don't even comment on this blog sooo I'm thinking I am way off the hook on this one.

My mom said I've offended relatives. The relatives my kids have no knowledge of their existence. The relatives they'll never see. The relatives that I only see every 10 years. I'm sure they will learn to cope at some point in time. If not, this is going to make next month's reunion a trip and half.

My mom also wants me to send one to my brother. Yeah, about that. We sort of having a blinking contest which neither one of us has made an effort to contact the other one. So far it's been 8 years. Why would I break my winning streak now? Do I hold anything against him? That is sort of hard. Because I would say no, I don't hold anything against him, but I am hugely disappointed in him. It gets old real quick to hear him tell me everything I'm doing wrong in my life while he waits for parole.

So who knew graduating your kids would cause all kind of weird family issues to come bubbling up to the surface? Because I totally missed that memo. Or maybe that's just MY family and all its issues we tend to ignore.

Friday, June 6, 2014

I Knew I Was A Control Freak But My Word!

I think I reached a new level. I had the guys drive me to the store in their car, and I will admit there was a moment of sheer terror as the thought hit me that I'm putting my life in their hands. They did fine, but I had to battle every thought of "Let mommy do it!!" I think the circulation is returning to my hands from the death grip I had on the door handle.

That was hard! It's not that they are bad drivers, they just need some more practice. As Jared pointed out, they drive like little old ladies. I'm still surprised that one is still alive. But it's a whole new experience of letting your child decide if you're going to live or die. And there is nothing you can do about it! Gosh, I wonder if this is the same kind of terror my 94 year old grandma feels when her kids keep talking about shoving her into a nursing home.

Seriously, I had no idea to what degree I had things in my tight little grip. There are things the guys do on their own no big deal. But this involved ME! And I was at their mercy. I wasn't prepared for the emotions that would bring up. I almost feel like I need therapy now. Or maybe they need therapy - how to get your mother's claws off of your life. Which is odd because I didn't think I was doing that at all. There have been several things lately (job hunting!) that I've had them handle and do on their own.

This is going to be an interesting next few years.

Second, I find it a bit ri-donk-ulous the prices I've been finding regarding grad pictures. And that whole times 2 thing? This crap ain't cheap!! So after spending tons of time scouring the inter-webby I came to the conclusion I was just going to wing it with my camera.

Somehow I managed to con talk the guys into mowing the lawn. Then I stressed out so they took pity on me and we did some pictures because nothing makes me move faster and stress more than waiting till that last minute to do senior pictures and make announcements like needing it done like NOW!

Procrastinators unite! Tomorrow! At some time....at your convenience....or not.

But the beauty of it is we have this huge tree out back so I used that as a backdrop and it worked out perfectly! I snapped a few from my phone and posted it on facebook and people are already saying nice pic! So naturally the ones from my camera will be a lot better. Hopefully.

Next came the price game to see who has a better deal. Is it cheaper for me to have announcements made or make them myself? In case you were really wondering that question - it is way cheaper to have them made at like Wal-Mart, Walgreens, and CVS verses some of the other uppity sites I've been on. Kaye gave me a few good pointers because I found it much cheaper at Wal-Mart than anywhere else! (Thanks Kaye!)

But this has left me to the point where I'm slamming my head repeatedly on the desk. Lot of stuff to wade through. I got over feeling guilty about the whole party thing and that was mostly because people took pity on all my whining to tell me story after story of people shelling out hundreds for a party and hardly anyone showed up. I waved buh-bye at that guilt only to have the next one roll in when my mom couldn't believe I wasn't going to make the announcements. I got over that one fairly quickly when I started price checking stuff.

And I quote: "Ain't nobody got time for dat!"

Jared pointed out that he doesn't know why I'm bothering - it's not like it's a party announcement, I don't have a lot of people's address any more thanks to moving twice in a year, and it's not like I want any of the relatives to show up either.

See previous statement about not sure how he is still living.

While he does have a point, I feel all this pressure to do it. We ordered their diplomas and they arrived today! Woot woot! Here is something you never hear at a home school convention - what to name your school. You want people to take their education seriously, but if you name their high school Lil Shepherd's Academy - might not have the right punch to it. Or they may get asked if they rode the short bus to school. I don't know. I can tell you after filling out tons of job applications you want to sound credible. 

But the stress has robbed me of all sleep. I told the guys if I break down bawling this Sunday it may be mainly from a lack of sleep. Actually, we all know it's not true. Worth a shot.

We're picking up their cake tomorrow. Scratch that - they are picking up their cake tomorrow. I'll be making their favorite dips and snacks. My folks are coming down. Fred's folks can't make it. And our place is so small, it can barely handle us let alone extra people. But it'll be good. They'll get a bible with their name engraved on it at church, we'll give them their diplomas when we get back, awesome snackage will be had, and more pictures. Then next week I can get it all printed out and mailed off and then pass out.

Almost there!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Emotions Are On Overload!

We've had a pretty crazy week. Our computer caught a nasty virus and it looks like it's down for the count. Since XP is no longer supported there have been whispers that Explorer would be vulnerable. Let me assure you those whispers are screaming right!

The guys' school stuff works off of Explorer and sure enough days after XP was no longer supported - the creepies moved in. We tried several things but it was a no go. Was able to limp the computer long enough for them to finish up before it did it's final self destruct sequence. Even though it was shaky right down to the last day on whether the computer would work or not, we did prevail and they are now graduated!!

WE DID IT!!!!!

And let me tell you about the emotions. So far I've broken down and had an ugly cry three times. I've only been caught doing one. The guys were all chuckling at me. They said I deserved the award not them. So did not help because that triggered enough water works to blow through half a box of Kleenexes. And then God hopped in on it and felt this huge atta girl and there went the other half of the box!

I still have to finish a few other things to get their final grades and then finish their transcripts but most of it is already done. I'll be ordering their diplomas hopefully soon - after our new computer arrives. And I'm not really sure what to do about announcements. I was looking on Pinterest to get some suggestions on picture taking. I think I'll have to bribe/blackmail to get them to let me try taking a dozen pictures at different settings. I can almost hear the excitement they won't have.

My mom called and was gasp! congratulating me on a job well done. She acknowledged my perseverance and told me that they are my life's work and my legacy. And there went another partial box of Kleenexes. She wants to be at the church. I tried to dance around it. I told her I've had a few ugly cries and she laughed and said that's typical me. Okay, who is this woman? But she suggested I make the graduation announcements.  Eh, I'm still behind on their personal scrapbooks - I'm not sure I can whip out a bunch of cards and get them mailed this week.

I think I've been able to bask in the I'm Done! moment for only a couple of days. Now everything that has to get done over the summer has come rushing in and knocking me flat on my butt. I sort of feel cheated. I thought the warm gooey feelings would last a bit longer. Either that or it was the month long aunt flow visit. Something threw my system for a loop but thanks to the almighty Google I found out Aleve will stop a heavy period. One of the pharmacist said it is hard on the kidneys so drink extra water and I think she said the maximum level was 7 pills a day. I did take more than that and took it with food as I heard it can be hard on the stomach. Took me 3 days but it did work! Where was this information like a couple decades ago?!?!?

And toss in more crazy - Hubby got the in-patient job at the hospital he works at so he is now a level 2 tech. Crazy hours, but more money. I'm going to miss that weirdo, but thankfully no more customers who scream and demand their medicine be served up for free and right now. Oh the stories he could tell.....that he won't let me repeat. Something about patient privacy. Anyway, we're excited. He had a going away party and I chuckled at the many reference to how much his hard working self and my cooking will be missed.

So it has been a week of change. And there are moments when the excitement is really high only to have the reality that life is going to be different from now on to bring it down to a low. Jared will be a freshman in the fall. He's been super grumpy and keeps taking naps - hello another growth spurt!

It just feels like life is at this crazy turbo speed of getting them ready to launch out into the world. What sucks is I'm having to push them when my heart is screaming for me to hit the brakes and hang on to their ankles. There are those moments when I just wish life could just stay the same for a little bit longer because I feel like so much of my life is still in shambles and not settled. So the thought of them starting to pull away to do their own thing feels like another leg sweep to the old emotions.

Oh look! More tears! Well this box was feeling kind of low anyways, might as well finish it off. *sniff*

It also seems like there is an over abundance of commercials about graduation and hitting mile stones that I did make a hasty exit out of the room because the ugly cry seems to still be lurking just under the surface. I've apologized to the guys several times. I don't think this is going away anytime soon. I feel sort of sorry for them. I was already telling them about where I want to sit at church so I can get good pictures and then I burst into tears.

This is going to be interesting.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I Did Mention This Right?

About how bad I'm feeling about not being able to throw a graduation party? Member that? Well. The other day I spent a good part of it on Pinterest to try and come up with something. I am still overwhelmed with it all!! Anytime we start to talk about it, I get choked up and start crying. The guys are chuckling at me.

I have a feeling this isn't going away any time soon either.

Here is something I wasn't aware of - this crap gets expensive!!! I wanted to do pictures - they don't. Pictures times 2 equals a small loan. I looked at announcements and am still trying to recover from all that. I actually found some for a good price but I'm not sure they'll let me put both their names on it. I hope so because that times 2 thing really sucks sometimes.

I think I got caught up in all the yay we did it that I overlooked the practical stuff. Like is this really necessary? Tassels? Class rings? I found a website that shows how a homeschooler can do sort of like a yearbook. It looks like a super fancy scrapbook of their year.  I looked at the price and said no. Not to mention the guys didn't want it anyways. We really don't know a whole lot of people to do a party and they are thrilled because they said they really don't want to hang around a bunch of adults getting grilled on what are they going to do with the rest of their lives and put up with kids they can't really stand anyways.

Please tell me how you really feel.

But now I am totally siding with them on this. I heard through the family grapevine a few cousins and an aunt going off about how low we've gotten and what a shame we didn't have the guys license way before now. Now they are tsk tsking about why the guys don't have a job and what a rotten mother I am. Here's the thing with that - they are a bit chicken when it comes to driving and we didn't really have the money for it. Throw in a big move to a huge city and it amped the chicken by a lot. Then get raked over the coals with insurance - times 2. But they are getting better and are almost there. We haven't tackled highway driving yet and I'm not sure who is more nervous - them or me. Plus, they have looked into getting jobs and jobs aren't as plentiful out there as people seem to think. Needless to say, I'm right there with my guys on not wanting to play nice with relatives that constantly look down their noses at us over everything.

And they wonder why I avoid reunions. Nothing like getting treated like you are a piece of poo. If I want that type of treatment I'll talk to my mother.

I had to chill out and remember what it was like when I was their age. I was homeschooled and was thrilled I missed out on prom and didn't have to do the cap and gown thing. I sort of had this concern about tripping on the gown and making and epic lasting impression - and not in a good way. I felt honored when our church called all the grads up and prayed over the group. That was good enough for me. I did have a party but it was more of a pain than a blessing. My mom made me organize it and do most of the work. My brother got married and there was all kinds of drama with that and my mom was doing flowers for a cousin's wedding the following week. It was a lot going on and not to mention my mom wasn't all that um, festive or supportive. Shocker.

Our church is doing the same thing for the grads and we all feel that will be the right thing and then we can come home and have tons of snacks and cake and give them their diplomas. I have this terrible feeling I'm not going to be able to stop crying. Just sitting here typing this and I'm tearing up! I'm proud of them, I'm shocked we made it, and I can't believe it's finally here. And I still feel that algebra is from the underworld! I saw on Pinterest "And satan said, add letters to math" I laughed so hard I snorted!!

But one thing is for sure - I don't want my mom at the church!! She will totally ruin the moment and I can't deal with her. I already feel like a wreck and my mom has zero tolerance for tears. She also has this annoying way of making EVERY FLIPPING THING about her and why SHE'S had it sooo much worse than the rest of us losers. That really isn't the day I want to finally snap and go all gangsta on her. I'll let her know about the snacks and cake but I'm not letting her in about church until after the fact. It's going to be bad enough to hear her tell about what a trial I was. I thought about playing her the song Let It Go but I have this feeling she won't grasp what I'm trying to say. Pity.


I was whining about the whole party thing to a friend of mine and she was telling me that her daughter just graduated college last semester and she spent hundreds of dollars on food and stuff and only 8 people showed up besides grandparents. Ouch! I said I have attended tons of graduation parties, wedding and baby showers, etc that part of me feels like people owe us. Trouble with that is they are all back in another state. And not one of them would travel down here for a visit, which I can't blame them because I've used that very excuse to blow off extended relatives. But it was nice to hear from yet another source that it doesn't always have to be "normal" just try to figure out something that will honor them and let them feel happy rather than obligated.

Plus Sissy might be here and if she's around a party will be had one way or another. Fun will be had, tears will be shed, and cake will be consumed. That sounds like party, right?

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

That Post Where I Ramble On and On

Which should just be code for "another post". It has been crazy! I have this annoying feeling that I say that way too much but it just feels like it. That and I'm too tired to come up with a different way of wording it. I've used Crazy Mc-Dazy too many times as well.

The convention was....interesting. I had a blast with the gals. They were pretty good surviving my near death experience. I wasn't fully awake and didn't notice that I needed to put a bathmat in the shower before I got in. We'll just leave it at "elephant makes a splash" as my feet slid out from under me faster than I could figure out what just happened.

It would have been hilarious had it not happened to me....twice.

I managed to crawl out of the death trap, aka bathtub, and tried to pretend that nothing happened only to step out of the bathroom with concern faces staring at me. They had no idea just how ungraceful I can be. There really isn't a nice way to recover from making it sound like you didn't just destroyed the bathroom. That shower curtain will never be the same though.

Since I don't seem to own a filter, I posted all of this on Facebook and the comments from my Hubby were rather hilarious. Nice to see he takes amusement at my expense. Oh wait. I do that to him all the time. Huh.

The book area was just crazy huge and I was so thankful I didn't have to buy a single thing, because the twins are almost done and I have everything all lined up for Jared already. And there was a loud sigh of relief from my pocketbook. But it was fun to look at stuff, and laugh hysterically because I'm almost there. Sure I got a few weird looks, but I'm actually use to those. I did score a remote controlled pigeon for J's b-day. It's actually pretty cool and it can only be used outside.

Clearly, my evil plan was rather well thought out.

I got to meet The FlyLady. I use to get her emails years ago when I first started this blog. I'm hoping she was just having a bad day, because she was no where near as chipper as what her emails of yore had led me to believe. They were handing out neat little bags and I got a free book about Body Clutter and how to get rid of it. I looked at the author and I looked back at the book. I flipped the book around to read the back of it. Then opened it up and read a few pages and then looked back over to the author. I don't want to say that one stuffed with too much fluff really shouldn't write a book about how to lose said fluff especially with fluff still being all there and fluffy because that just sounds sort of....what's the word I'm looking for? Hypocritical?

I'm now inspired to write a book about how I beat anorexia. Except I've never been anorexic. But I'm sure it could be a slightly entertaining seller where I can pass them out for free to all 3 of my loyal readers. I can't tell if it's 2 or 3. My stats never seem to give me a clear picture.

Anyhoo -

There was a lot of info overload going on. I took notes so fast I'm hoping I'll be able to decipher this stuff once I have a chance to sit down and go through it. I got some great ideas, encouragement to keep going on, but also a huge dose of reality.

I think with all that life has tossed at us I've had the mentality to just hunker down and focus one day at a time and not really being involved in anything. I haven't thought much about the homeschool community much because having graduated through it and raising my boys through it, I sort of thought it was sort of ish the same. Silly me.

There were a couple of speakers that had a lot of warnings of what is on the horizon and it actually surprised me. One lady said we could be an executive order away from homeschooling being illegal and the challenge of what would you do if it was? There were warnings that there is a shift in our culture that seems to be out for blood. Anything you say can get twisted and brought up later. Having gone through that several times I don't find that surprising, but they said this is escalating. The community as a whole has become big enough that we are viewed as a threat and that changes things.

I noticed every single speaker kept giving out warnings about compromises going on. I hadn't heard about all the scandals so I sat there with my mouth hanging open. But I was also rather shocked that some of the speakers there had non biblical world views and alternative lifestyles. That's about as vague as I can put it without getting hate mail. I wanted to ask them what are they doing there? One speaker went out on a limb and said that she feels we're being infiltrated at every angle. She had some valid points. It was a bit sobering.

However, there was also a lot of encouragement. I can say that the face of homeschool has shifted and changed. Both for better and for worse. But as a whole, it was encouraging just to be around that many families that have laid it on the line and have walked it out. I've been to a lot of Christian conferences and after people would leave, I'm always appalled at the trash left behind and the rude behavior. So it was soooo nice to see families pick up after themselves and no kids were running about crashing into people. I felt like I was looking at hope for humanity!

And standing on this side of things - I can say we made the right decision for our family. I can say it was worth all the sacrifices, all the tears and questions because my guys are ready to stand without all the baggage you see weighing down on kids their age. And while they are facing all the uncertainty that comes with this stage, there is something solid about them - grounded, stable, unstoppable.

There were so many times I wanted to give up. I didn't think I had what it takes to finish this thing. And there are still days I wonder! But we had gone out to eat with the in-laws this last Sunday, and I was watching my guys at the far end of the table just chatting with each other and I couldn't help but smile. I looked at Fred and said, "Man, we did good! Especially with a whole lot of help from God!" He totally agrees.

This side of all the dreary days in and out is fun. I feel like the baton is out of my hands - at least it will be once I get the last of the stuff graded and an official transcript is done. Looks like another month. Tests are all scheduled and prep work is in full swing. We got several thing going on all at once and I'm actually having a hard time to just keep everything going without that terrible feeling like I'm forgetting something. Like laundry, or grocery shopping. And it took me a few minutes to find where I left my phone. But.....we.are.almost.there!!!

I think Jared will be done with his stuff by the middle of next week so his summer break will be starting. I gave them a few extra days off for his birthday. Dude is as tall as Fred and shows no signs of stopping. This is going to be an interesting few years with him. If he gets to 6'4" - I'm enrolling him into some sort of volleyball camp. He ate 4 chicken sandwiches for lunch yesterday. Ah, yes. That's where all our money has gone - feeding these people!

Monday, April 21, 2014

Mixed Emotions

It seems to me like I have more than my fair share of mixed emotions, but I know that isn't true. I just can amp it up by a lot.

I'm going to a home school convention this week. It is one of the largest and I've wanted to go for years but haven't had the money for it. I was invited to go along with some of the gals that come down to the book sale. After some prayer, bought my ticket for it back in February and thought everything was all set. Then we had a few doozies and I thought I was going to have to pull out for - sigh - not enough money to go. God, however, has been providing right and left and let me know - I'm a going!

So grateful! Very, very grateful.

There have been years when I really needed the encouragement to just keep trucking along, but found nothing. I only had sheer determination to be obedient. As we are weeks away from wrapping up another year of homeschooling, I find myself in some pretty deep valleys of emotions. I am so thankful that I didn't give up. I am thankful that we did this journey of homeschooling.

I would like to put this out there that everyone's journey is NOT going to look the same. It boils down to what do you feel God is telling YOU? You can take inspiration from others and tweak it to make it your own, but I think the whole reason to home school isn't doing it just like everyone else. We're called to be living stones not the same batch of bricks.

Took me a long time to figure that out.

Know yourself, know your kid, pray a lot and be lead. Don't be so quick to do it like so and so. What worked for one year might not work for the next year and/or subject.

I am a little bit concern I'm going to hear some brilliant idea at the convention and I'm going to be tempted to feel all this guilt and condemnation for not doing that sooner. Or missing it entirely as Nicholas and Michael are coming down to weeks to being done entirely. Graduated.

And I want to bawl all over again.

There is something that is hitting me the hardest right now. They have worked hard! I am bursting with pride for them and how relieved (and amazed) I am to see how it all came together. And I want to celebrate that and applaud their hard work......and we know no one. We can't throw them a graduation party because we have no one to invite. I feel like a grade A loser. This whole moving to a whole new state their junior year has bit us in the butt. On top of that, our first year down here we only had 1 vehicle. Made it impossible to get involved in anything. The only time anyone at church has anything to do with them is when they want them to lead worship for the youth group.

It sucks. I'm not even sure there is anything I can do about it either. These are some awesome men and there is no one to recognize it and celebrate them.

I feel like it's my fault too. I'm a goofball and have sort of embraced the cynical part that most people are jerks and better to stay away from the drama. And I'm more social than Fred. Dude takes antisocial to a whole new level. We've gone through a ton of backstabbing over the years that we just don't put much effort to get to know people. I'm not saying that it's healthy but there are times when you can't take any more of people's lack of character and integrity. Blah. No easy answers. I already battle thinking I haven't done enough, be enough, do enough - this doesn't help.

But I'm going to shake it off and spend the next couple of days getting things squared away so I can take off for a wonderful weekend. If nothing else, I need the encouragement to get my head back in the game for Jared. I can smell the freedom, and I'm slightly giddy.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

That Moment Where I Bang My Head On The Table

While an argument could be made that I do this most days so therefore I'm not allowed to have just one moment - I would like to say, this calls for it's own special moment.

Did you hear about that rather large plan that disappeared or crashed and burned? Of course you have! What you probably haven't heard was all the conspiracies behind it. I can only tell you this as an informed person because my mother decided to flood my email box with every known theory that is floating out there as to why it happened. It's not that I'm insensitive, but after reading I think like the 30th email explaining the whys behind it is when I sort of gave up the will to check my emails.

My phone, of course, has other plans as it was announcing a new notification every few seconds. It's always a guess. Either my mom is on the computer hitting forward to everything she finds "interesting" or it's Sissy sending me pins from Pinterest that she can't pin.

Yeah, don't look so innocent like. If you're on Pinterest, you know there are times when you see something hilarious but don't want to pin it because you don't want people to judge you for what you just pinned. So we sometimes just send it on to someone or make a secret board. My secret board is flipping hysterical, but I'm so very grateful it's ahem, secret.

Wow. I just blanked out what I was trying to say. This can't be a good sign. Maybe I smacked my head a little too hard on the table this time around.

Oh wait, I think it's coming back. Airplane!

I asked Hubby dear if I was the only person out there that now thinks the missing plan is just the beginning of the series LOST. After he stopped laughing, which did take a while, he said he was pretty sure it was just me. And here I thought I was going to be able to find a group of like minded folks who are as weird as me.

I'm pretty sure that will never happen.

And for giggles, I sent my mom an email that it's okay I've seen all of LOST and everyone will be okay. She emailed back that if they are lost she doesn't see how they'll be okay, and I need to wake up and realize they are out to get us. I said yes, the man in black will try to but he doesn't get to win.

I guess I should mention here she had absolutely no clue what I was talking about and has never seen LOST let alone heard of it. Hey, wading through all those conspiracies takes a while, so she's a bit behind on some things.

Needless to say, she thought I was being a bit loony, which the irony of that statement made me laugh even harder. And it was all fun and games until my dad figured out I was being a smarty-pants and I got scolded via email. That is a new level of weird to get yelled at through an email. I was waiting for it to end with "go to your room" but sadly it didn't. I was actually looking for an excuse to go to my room so I could take a nap.

I think I need one to - we've had a dozy of a month. And added bonus, I was having a major meltdown with a side of crappy attitude and Nicholas called me out on it and was 100% right. It was weird to feel both proud that I raised him right, and completely frustrated because I got served up a plate of reality by my kid.

Owned.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Oh Wally World! How You Make Me Shake Mah Head!

I know. I get emails asking for the stuffmart posts, but sadly there is nothing to offer. Different state, different vibe - I don't know, but I'm just not getting the same stories and/or experiences. Honestly, that's not a bad thing here people! Sure, you're not as entertained, but I've noticed the eye twitching isn't as bad.

Wait. Scratch that because I am, after all, still in a Wal-Mart. I still hate to go shopping there, but the amount of food these guys go through leaves me with little choice. So I suck it up and battle the masses.

We still have questionable cashiers. Most of the ladies gush over the boys and insist they are triplets. We have one guy in particular that loves to comment on how much we are buying. Another added bonus - dude NEVER SHUTS UP!!! He will start asking us all kinds of questions, everything from the weather and to the products we are buying. He will add his own thoughts to every.single.question. I'm relieved that he's stuck there still working or I have the feeling he would follow us out to the car and talk at us while we start chucking bags in all willy-nilly just to get away from him.

Let me tell you, that doesn't work for Fred Jr. Michael because dude has the organizing gene. I swear he plays some form of tetris with the groceries in his cart. He has everything arrange just so and I have the feeling he could get both carts worth of stuff arranged into one cart. The downer is he will take flipping forever as he is constantly rearranging stuff. Probably doesn't help that I purposely toss stuff into his cart. I had asked him if Mr. McTalky-Pants were to follow us out, what would he do? After he stopped shuttering, he said he would just put the whole cart in the back of the SUV and yell for me to gun it.

Annoying people of the world - I understand you like to talk. I understand this as I, myself, like to talk. However, there is a fine line of having a few small conversation to the point of overloading someone that they are pretending to kill you a thousand times over in their mind.

Dear Lord, there seems to be one in every state. And while we are on this topic, Sir, why do they always pick me to ramble on and on to? People sail right past Fred and make a beeline for me to tell me their life story. I've had people just come up to me and start asking me questions about stuff. Um, do I look like I work here?!? I have a list and people are following me with carts. And if you get too close to me, one of them will give you a bump with said cart followed up by a glare of back off freak!

I did make him apologize, but in his defense the person wouldn't go away and screamed like he was off his meds, so I really don't think that should be held against my child. Just saying.

The grannies crack me up the most. The guys are always getting asked to get something off the top shelf for someone, which they do and are extremely polite. It's hilarious to watch granny beam back at them and cluck about what wonderful young men they are and then watch her announce this to the whole aisle. I get tons of compliments about how I'm doing it right, and told that there should be more people like me in the world. I chuckle because I'm sure if she knew how goofy I am, she might change her mind.

However, a small part of me wants to throw my arms around her and give her a little squeeze of thanks. The thing that usually stops me is when she starts pointing fingers at other people in the aisle that they should take lessons from me because their brats are on her last nerve. I've noticed that tends to make those happy feeling settle back down and the practical side of me takes over and recommends I just smile, say nothing, and try to get us out of that aisle as fast as possible.

Who knew I actually had a practical side? Oh yeah, not wanting to get stab to death is a high motivator.

I am not a fan of big city living. I don't want to live in the country, but this ginormous city thing sucks. I took Jared up to Kokomo to meet my dad for him to sell some more sauce and ended up coming back home in rush hour traffic. Oh my word! If I had to battle that every day, I'm concern I would take road rage to a new level and start playing bumper cars. It wasn't pretty. Especially because I almost got side swiped and hopped into another lane to keep from getting hit, but it caused me to miss my exit. The roads here tend to split into 5 different directions all at once. You have to know what lane you need or you're screwed. And added bonus, jerkoff wouldn't let me back in my lane.

Is it a sin to wish someone to get an infestations of fleas in their armpits?

Really?!?

Um, we might want to take a moment to pray for someone and his armpits.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Brutal, Just Brutal

What could be so beastly you may be wondering? Or possibly not.

The schedule ganged up with THE LIST! and went all gangsta! Last thing I remember it was January. I'm not entirely sure I know what year this is either.

This whole teenager thing is not for the faint of heart! I have no life because they are sucking up every waking moment. My dad just called and said he has a couple shows he could use Jared's help with, and every time Nicholas and Michael walk through the doors at church they're getting pounced on by an adult asking them to lead worship for youth group, or run the soundboard and/or PowerPoint. Lately, I've found myself running someone to something and a few Sundays I had to drop off the guys at church, run up to get Jared back and then swing back in time to snag the other two.

Sheesh!

The older two are still needing more hours before they can get their driver's license, and it is taking FOREVER because everything is doubled. It's making everything harder and longer. The traffic is very congested down here so Fred has to take them way out of town to drive and then there are two of them that need to practice. I have yet to get into the car with them. But I have heard they are doing great but they get so stressed out about the whole thing it sort of comical.

Gosh, I wonder who's kids these belong too??? When I was their age, I already had my license, had a job, and was doing school. But while they lack some confidence, I think they are way smarter than I was at their age, and have more wisdom and talent in their pinkies than I ever could have hoped to possess.

Gone are the attitudes of you are mom and you know nothing, and it's replaced by this awe that they think I'm the most intelligent thing to roam the planet. While this does cause me to chuckle, I still have a 14 yr old that tries to smash that ooey-gooey feeling into tiny bits. There are no words to describe what a difference 4 years makes in a child. My 18 yr olds are constantly asking for advice, while my 14 yr old rolls his eyes at everything I say. And if he gets too feisty, I will tackle him and try to pin him to the ground.

Because big bottomed girls rule the world and will take any dude down. Amen.

Unfortunately, I can't keep him pinned down for long. Not to mention he got me back. He came sailing into my room right when I was getting out of bed and took.me.down. As in full on tackle that knocked my feet out from under me while I had a hang time of half a second before his momentum finished me off in a heap. Thankfully, the bed broke my fall. I shudder at the thought if I would have gone to the floor. It's possible I would still be there in traction unable to move. He caught me so off guard, I just sat there in a heap laughing out of sheer relief that I wasn't injured.

For the last two years, his favorite thing is to do is the flying hug. If you are fortunate, you have some furniture or a wall to help keep you propped up. If you find yourself in an open space and he comes charging - brace yourself, because it's going to feel like a wall just landed on you. I've noticed his older brothers have stopped calling him "little brother" and now refer to him as their younger brother.

They better be glad that he is so laid back in his personality or there would be some major paybacks going on!

Monday, February 17, 2014

It Was Yet Another Tale Of Woe

The good news is we survived germ-fest and are fully recovered. At least I thought until tonight. Hubby and I ran to the boarder while the guys were at youth group and ended up picking up some food poisoning along with our nachos. I'm belching a rotten egg smell and some of it bullied it's way through the intestines leaving us both running for bathrooms. And while an argument could be made that duh, you went to Taco Bell so, of course, you're taking your life into your own hands - I wasn't aware the boarder crossing was now armed with lethal bacteria.

I feel really bad because I talked Hubs into going there aaaannnd he ended up poisoned. Nothing says I love you like being talked into consuming questionable food that leads to evil diarrhea. Although, I think that's a double negative, because when is diarrhea not evil?

That lovely tale of woe was on the heels of another tale of woe. Sadness had struck when it was discovered the coffee maker stopped working. It was confirmed it had died a sudden and tragic death, as in it didn't work. Not like I care, but for Nicholas - this was a sure sign that the end of the world had indeed just happened. We had a curbside memorial as it was tossed into the dumpster and made a quick trip to snag a newer model, because we have discovered Nicholas is a bit more grumpy without his coffee.

He claims he's not addicted, so far none of us are buying it.

We thought we had recovered with a new coffee maker that had a lot of cool features, but sadly it is giving off a plastic aftertaste. I have washed this sucker, ran water through it, even brewed a couple pots to try and flush this junk out, but was informed the film was still floating on top. Dude looked at me to which I said, "dump it" and he gave me a look of horror until I asked him if he wanted to drink it. He nodded his agreement and dumped it. I had him use Folgers coffee instead of the Starbucks because that crap ain't cheap!

Sissy recommended using vinegar through it which is what I did because the man child is not happy that his morning cup of Joe is being violated. And that has cut into his God time because he likes to read his bible, pray, take notes all while slurping his coffee.

I have no idea where this child came from.

But I can tell you, huge improvements have been made with him, and no way do I want to interrupt his God time.

Michael and I just make our tea and shudder at the thought of it being morning, and then take turns to see who is going to go bang on Jared's door to awaken it. He usually stumbles out and face plants onto the couch mumbling something along the lines of good morning. At least I think that's what he is mumbling, hard to tell with the pillow blocking his face. We are a festive group. Just not in the mornings. Unless it's Nicholas, who was warned not to sing good morning. He.was.warned. Just saying.

Thankfully, the vinegar rinse did the trick and we are back in business. I was going to breathe a sigh of relief until I realized that Monday has snuck up on me ready to do a karate chop. Maybe I can belch on it and it will skitter away. Blah!

And I'm not happy with all this tale of woe that showed up because I had an awesome weekend in spite of everything else. This junk can't tarnish it, so it just needs to scurry on it's way and not come back!

Monday, January 27, 2014

I Guess I Wasn't Too Clear

I made that silly little comment about needing to park it and reading a bunch of books. Some germ took that as a personal challenge and Jared's germs went crazy ba-zerk. Michael was the other causality and last weekend we could barely move. Nicholas got a little too smug about not getting the germs and Michael tossed out a threat of licking him. I couldn't stop laughing. Which turned into coughing.

I'm going to miss that lung.

This week has gone better, but I can't seem to stop coughing. And it's one of those annoying must hack out a lung type coughs but there is no productivity of freeing said lung from the crud. All the work and nothing to show for it. Unless you count the fact that I now have abs of steel. Granted, it is completely buried under a large layer of blubber, but you'll have to trust me that there are some rock hard abs from all the horking.

I took some medicine right before dinner, ate, and then sat down on the couch waiting for Mythbusters to come on. Next thing I know, Mythbusters is running the end credits and I'm mopping about half a gallon of drool off my neck.

Well. That was unpleasant.

But since I ended up with a nap, my brain read that as 'stay up all night and think of random things'. Oh the random! I think my brain tried to come up with several solutions, but I'm pretty sure it came up with zilch as I only half remember it.

I'm still slightly steamed. With being run over by a mac truck and flat on my back, I was only able to read one book. One!! I'm pretty sure I stayed in a fetal position for days on end, so I should have cranked out a few. Instead, my eyes didn't want to focus on anything other than identifying body parts I was horking out with every cough.

Gross, huh?

I've noticed that Wicked is coming to Once Upon A Time. A few people I know big, puffy heart love the musical and when I was at the book sale, I was able to snag a copy for a buck. So I thought might as well tackle that one first as the show kicks back on in March. And I am now mourning that buck and the time I wasted reading that garbage.

Seriously! One of the worst books I've ever read! I liked the concept of it, however, there was so much sex in the book that it got beyond gross. I'm not a prude, but when graphic sex scenes are tossed around every few chapters, it gets old and just screams unnecessary. I am completely confused how anyone was able to salvage enough of that story to make a musical out of it. It was so bad I immediately tossed the thing into the recycle bin as soon as I finished it. And I rarely toss books.

What fries my bacon is that person is published and has won all kinds of awards. So now I'm digging through my stack of books to pick an author who's work I enjoy to hopefully get that awful junk out of my head. Hate it when that happens. And I'm not sure what I'm more upset over - the fact that I feel I could write a better story or the fact that someone publish that garbage.

I was in full rant about it to Hubby who shot back why don't I? Took me a few beats to catch on to what he meant about me writing, and then I slide down to the floor gasping for air from all the laughing. I listed off all the stuff I did that day let alone the rest of the week. Who has time for that?!? I think I've mostly given up on blogging too. I feel like I barely make it through a week from everything that has to get done and most of the time I feel like I'm behind on that. I say this as a pile of laundry glares at me.

Maybe someday - maybe not. The thought of trying to plan more than a week hurts my head right now. I spent most of the day coming up with a grocery list and a few loads of laundry. Someone was whining about wearing his last pair of scrubs. Although, he did take pity on me and has cooked a few meals this week. Which was good as I put him down for making most the meals.

He better hopes this week goes better. Scratch that - I better rise from the ashes or he's going to make chili again. There are only so many times I can eat it before my intestines stages a revolt. I am skert we are coming to the danger zone. Especially since I'm making Cowboy Crack dip for Sunday. Oh the dips! It will be a dip-glorious day.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Let Me Just Bang My Cane On My Rocker

I have now flopped into another decade. I've embraced the gray - sort of. At least I thought I was until I had to pluck my eyebrows and what should I discover but a couple of gray - no, white eyebrow hairs! For some reason I sat there all irked like, because what was one supposed to do with white eyebrow hair anyways? I'm still scarred from discovering hoo-hah hair can turn grey.

I actually hunted my mother down and demanded to know why she didn't prepare me for that special shock. She was laughing so hard, she started coughing to the point that she sounded like a sick sea-lion. My dad got on the phone and asked what the heck did I say to make her cry with laughter like that.

Cricket, cricket

So I told him and from what I hear, he is on his third bottle of bleach trying to get that image out of his eyes. Hey, he of all people should know better than to ask questions all willy-nilly like that around me. Actually, he said it was funny but just couldn't believe I'm old enough to have graying hoo-hah hair. He keeps forgetting what year I was born in, so thought I had a couple more years to go. Talk about denial! Dude is in his 70s, so time for a check up from the neck up!

I ended up having a blast - the gals came down for the book sale and I have another large bag of crack books to go through. Be still my heart! Too bad I still have 3 other bags full from the last 2 trips. Ahem! I've been busy. Although, I'm not sure what it is I've actually done. Weird.

But we went off to P.F. Chang's and someone tipped off the waitress and a cheesecake with lit candles appeared while people sang to me. I had to pose for pictures all while I had a goofy grin on my face. Well, it WAS cheesecake. I just wished I knew it was coming or I would have passed on those egg rolls. Burp! I was so glad they came! I really needed some girl time. They almost didn't come because of the crazy weather. They have no idea how happy I was that they braved it. It's over an hour drive for them - 15 minute drive for me.

Sissy might be coming this weekend. But Jared just caught the crud, so she's not too sure now. We shall see how that pans out. All the days are starting to blend together. I need to park it and get knocking some of these books off but I've been cross-stitching, which just screams I have no life. And while that may be true, I've been working on this sucker off and on for 5 years and I think I got enough steam to get it finished. It's huge and all the shading hasn't pushed me over the edge yet so away I go.

And this is me - with a hobby.

You may offer your pity at any time now.

Oh wait, that would require people to comment. Which is weird because I don't know how my blog got listed on this one site but one blog post has almost 500 hits on it. Ok. Creepy. Sort of glad I set my comment settings to no anonymous comments. I was getting too many spam comments which is sad because those seem to be the only comments lately, but didn't have the body parts they were offering to enhance so buh-bye spammers. But to rack up 500 hits on one post and no comments - seems a bit off. I really don't network very well. I'm confused why anyone reads this anyways.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

And They Called This A Blizzard

I guess around these parts it was considered a blizzard but honestly, it only ranked as a serious snow storm by our standards. And what fun! We had my dad snowed in with us for a few days. Honestly, it went fine which only reinforces my belief that it's my mother that causes all the angst.

He was down for the weekend as he needed a place to stay as he was selling BBQ sauce. J was more than happy to tag along. Except the bad weather drove people away and it was an epic flop as far as sales goes. They wrapped it up just in time for the snow to come charging in and Dad was seriously thinking about heading out.

I think he was concerned about us not having enough stuff. I told him I always have extra stuff as we take our food seriously. Good thing too, because he was here for 5 days. He really loved my Cheeseburger Soup so I gave him the recipe and as soon as he got home, he made it. I guess he wasn't kidding when he said it was really good. It's been Michael's favorite soup since he was little. Nicholas, who loves all things lasagna, says Lasagna Soup is the best. And Jared, who hates all vegetables says he hates all soups.

Does this explain the eye twitch a little?

But we watched movies and read books. Made him watch the Lone Ranger, which I felt didn't get just reviews. It was really good. Totally not believable but I like a good story. I had just finish Baldacci's latest and Dad was rubbing it in my Mom's nose that he was reading it. She had asked to borrow it last time but I hadn't read it yet. Needless to say, she was happy we sent Dad home with a few books for her to read. Because not only do we take food seriously, we also take books seriously.

The weather better cooperate too, because the book sale is Friday and I really don't want to go alone. I'm not sure if the gals are coming down yet as last I heard there was talk of them not coming. That would be a bummer. And after venturing out today, I think I have myself mostly convinced never to leave the house, like, ever again.

Dad left before noon and it took him four hours to get back. It normally only takes an hour and half to two hours depending on who's driving. We left shortly after lunch to go grocery shopping. And that's where the fun ended. I was hoping the 2 degree temp would keep people off the streets. Seems that I was wrong. Someone needs to teach these people how to drive in the snow because it wasn't people going super fast that was the problem, rather the people that would go super slow, come to a complete stop and then spin out at the light causing traffic jams.

Lovely.

As if going out to stuffmart isn't a pain enough as it is, let's toss in idiots on the road to make it exciting.

There is a stuffmart not too far away from where we live, but the layout is the most ridiculous setup I have every seen in my life. I'm not OCD but even I can see there is no reason to the place and they always have so much stuff in the lanes that you can barely get your cart through. No thanks! So I go to one that is a lot farther away. I seriously should have reconsidered that thought today. Actually, I should have waited a few more days because it's going to warm up and make driving conditions better. I was just out of a few essentials but I could have made it.

Wish I wouldn't second guess myself so much. I'm not nearly as wrong as what I think I am.

We snagged a parking spot and went to enter stuffmart but the temps were so cold that they couldn't open a set of doors. The doors I happened to pick to park near. So we had to trek it the other side, which means we were going to have to mush carts all the way back to the other side through the snow.

We got most of the stuff on the list. The bread aisle was like nothing I have ever seen before because it was picked clean! But I didn't need any bread as I always have an extra loaf double bagged and in the chest freezer. And the place wasn't as packed as it normally was, so I guess that wasn't too bad.

The bad part was after we mushed through the parking lot and was attempting to leave. A truck had spun out at the light causing a traffic jam. Bunch of guys hopped out to help push - none of them were wearing coats. Proving that most people are idiots. We even saw a few guys in shorts, sweatshirts, and hats and gloves. Dude - you forgot your pants! It was cold enough that even the gang-bangers had their pants pulled up to their waste.

I will say it was nice having an SUV because the roads were terrible! They don't handle snow very well here, so most of the roads had packed snow in spots and ice mounds in others with a lot of slop in between. It was a bumpy ride! But the hard part was how people were spinning out. No wonder they shut the whole city down for the last couple days. City slickers in a hurry on bad roads shouldn't be allowed out. I wasn't too sure we were going to make it back. Had a couple close calls trying to get around people who think if you just give it more gas, you'll get out of the hole.

Stupid people!!

But then again, I tossed caution to the wind all because we were out of eggs and a few other things. All those things could have been picked up much closer to home. So the question begs to be asked who the stupid person really was after all?