Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I Did Mention This Right?

About how bad I'm feeling about not being able to throw a graduation party? Member that? Well. The other day I spent a good part of it on Pinterest to try and come up with something. I am still overwhelmed with it all!! Anytime we start to talk about it, I get choked up and start crying. The guys are chuckling at me.

I have a feeling this isn't going away any time soon either.

Here is something I wasn't aware of - this crap gets expensive!!! I wanted to do pictures - they don't. Pictures times 2 equals a small loan. I looked at announcements and am still trying to recover from all that. I actually found some for a good price but I'm not sure they'll let me put both their names on it. I hope so because that times 2 thing really sucks sometimes.

I think I got caught up in all the yay we did it that I overlooked the practical stuff. Like is this really necessary? Tassels? Class rings? I found a website that shows how a homeschooler can do sort of like a yearbook. It looks like a super fancy scrapbook of their year.  I looked at the price and said no. Not to mention the guys didn't want it anyways. We really don't know a whole lot of people to do a party and they are thrilled because they said they really don't want to hang around a bunch of adults getting grilled on what are they going to do with the rest of their lives and put up with kids they can't really stand anyways.

Please tell me how you really feel.

But now I am totally siding with them on this. I heard through the family grapevine a few cousins and an aunt going off about how low we've gotten and what a shame we didn't have the guys license way before now. Now they are tsk tsking about why the guys don't have a job and what a rotten mother I am. Here's the thing with that - they are a bit chicken when it comes to driving and we didn't really have the money for it. Throw in a big move to a huge city and it amped the chicken by a lot. Then get raked over the coals with insurance - times 2. But they are getting better and are almost there. We haven't tackled highway driving yet and I'm not sure who is more nervous - them or me. Plus, they have looked into getting jobs and jobs aren't as plentiful out there as people seem to think. Needless to say, I'm right there with my guys on not wanting to play nice with relatives that constantly look down their noses at us over everything.

And they wonder why I avoid reunions. Nothing like getting treated like you are a piece of poo. If I want that type of treatment I'll talk to my mother.

I had to chill out and remember what it was like when I was their age. I was homeschooled and was thrilled I missed out on prom and didn't have to do the cap and gown thing. I sort of had this concern about tripping on the gown and making and epic lasting impression - and not in a good way. I felt honored when our church called all the grads up and prayed over the group. That was good enough for me. I did have a party but it was more of a pain than a blessing. My mom made me organize it and do most of the work. My brother got married and there was all kinds of drama with that and my mom was doing flowers for a cousin's wedding the following week. It was a lot going on and not to mention my mom wasn't all that um, festive or supportive. Shocker.

Our church is doing the same thing for the grads and we all feel that will be the right thing and then we can come home and have tons of snacks and cake and give them their diplomas. I have this terrible feeling I'm not going to be able to stop crying. Just sitting here typing this and I'm tearing up! I'm proud of them, I'm shocked we made it, and I can't believe it's finally here. And I still feel that algebra is from the underworld! I saw on Pinterest "And satan said, add letters to math" I laughed so hard I snorted!!

But one thing is for sure - I don't want my mom at the church!! She will totally ruin the moment and I can't deal with her. I already feel like a wreck and my mom has zero tolerance for tears. She also has this annoying way of making EVERY FLIPPING THING about her and why SHE'S had it sooo much worse than the rest of us losers. That really isn't the day I want to finally snap and go all gangsta on her. I'll let her know about the snacks and cake but I'm not letting her in about church until after the fact. It's going to be bad enough to hear her tell about what a trial I was. I thought about playing her the song Let It Go but I have this feeling she won't grasp what I'm trying to say. Pity.

I was whining about the whole party thing to a friend of mine and she was telling me that her daughter just graduated college last semester and she spent hundreds of dollars on food and stuff and only 8 people showed up besides grandparents. Ouch! I said I have attended tons of graduation parties, wedding and baby showers, etc that part of me feels like people owe us. Trouble with that is they are all back in another state. And not one of them would travel down here for a visit, which I can't blame them because I've used that very excuse to blow off extended relatives. But it was nice to hear from yet another source that it doesn't always have to be "normal" just try to figure out something that will honor them and let them feel happy rather than obligated.

Plus Sissy might be here and if she's around a party will be had one way or another. Fun will be had, tears will be shed, and cake will be consumed. That sounds like party, right?