Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Emotions Are On Overload!

We've had a pretty crazy week. Our computer caught a nasty virus and it looks like it's down for the count. Since XP is no longer supported there have been whispers that Explorer would be vulnerable. Let me assure you those whispers are screaming right!

The guys' school stuff works off of Explorer and sure enough days after XP was no longer supported - the creepies moved in. We tried several things but it was a no go. Was able to limp the computer long enough for them to finish up before it did it's final self destruct sequence. Even though it was shaky right down to the last day on whether the computer would work or not, we did prevail and they are now graduated!!

WE DID IT!!!!!

And let me tell you about the emotions. So far I've broken down and had an ugly cry three times. I've only been caught doing one. The guys were all chuckling at me. They said I deserved the award not them. So did not help because that triggered enough water works to blow through half a box of Kleenexes. And then God hopped in on it and felt this huge atta girl and there went the other half of the box!

I still have to finish a few other things to get their final grades and then finish their transcripts but most of it is already done. I'll be ordering their diplomas hopefully soon - after our new computer arrives. And I'm not really sure what to do about announcements. I was looking on Pinterest to get some suggestions on picture taking. I think I'll have to bribe/blackmail to get them to let me try taking a dozen pictures at different settings. I can almost hear the excitement they won't have.

My mom called and was gasp! congratulating me on a job well done. She acknowledged my perseverance and told me that they are my life's work and my legacy. And there went another partial box of Kleenexes. She wants to be at the church. I tried to dance around it. I told her I've had a few ugly cries and she laughed and said that's typical me. Okay, who is this woman? But she suggested I make the graduation announcements.  Eh, I'm still behind on their personal scrapbooks - I'm not sure I can whip out a bunch of cards and get them mailed this week.

I think I've been able to bask in the I'm Done! moment for only a couple of days. Now everything that has to get done over the summer has come rushing in and knocking me flat on my butt. I sort of feel cheated. I thought the warm gooey feelings would last a bit longer. Either that or it was the month long aunt flow visit. Something threw my system for a loop but thanks to the almighty Google I found out Aleve will stop a heavy period. One of the pharmacist said it is hard on the kidneys so drink extra water and I think she said the maximum level was 7 pills a day. I did take more than that and took it with food as I heard it can be hard on the stomach. Took me 3 days but it did work! Where was this information like a couple decades ago?!?!?

And toss in more crazy - Hubby got the in-patient job at the hospital he works at so he is now a level 2 tech. Crazy hours, but more money. I'm going to miss that weirdo, but thankfully no more customers who scream and demand their medicine be served up for free and right now. Oh the stories he could tell.....that he won't let me repeat. Something about patient privacy. Anyway, we're excited. He had a going away party and I chuckled at the many reference to how much his hard working self and my cooking will be missed.

So it has been a week of change. And there are moments when the excitement is really high only to have the reality that life is going to be different from now on to bring it down to a low. Jared will be a freshman in the fall. He's been super grumpy and keeps taking naps - hello another growth spurt!

It just feels like life is at this crazy turbo speed of getting them ready to launch out into the world. What sucks is I'm having to push them when my heart is screaming for me to hit the brakes and hang on to their ankles. There are those moments when I just wish life could just stay the same for a little bit longer because I feel like so much of my life is still in shambles and not settled. So the thought of them starting to pull away to do their own thing feels like another leg sweep to the old emotions.

Oh look! More tears! Well this box was feeling kind of low anyways, might as well finish it off. *sniff*

It also seems like there is an over abundance of commercials about graduation and hitting mile stones that I did make a hasty exit out of the room because the ugly cry seems to still be lurking just under the surface. I've apologized to the guys several times. I don't think this is going away anytime soon. I feel sort of sorry for them. I was already telling them about where I want to sit at church so I can get good pictures and then I burst into tears.

This is going to be interesting.