Thursday, June 26, 2014

I Did Not Hit The Frappe Button On The Blender So What Is The Deal?

I think it is the month of June. I can only assume this because that is what my phone is telling me and I'm going out on a limb to trust that thing even though it likes to randomly shut itself off for no reason. Clearly, it has its own set of issues. Much like it's owner, but let's not go there.

I'm not sure if I'm happy we rent or irritated that we rent. This time last year for the 2 of you that read this drivel - we had no air and the dishwasher wasn't working and the bathroom they were supposed to fix was starting to grow interesting things on the wall. As in break out the hazmat suites!

Right now the air is blasting away that I'm wrapped up in a blanket. Hey, the basement gets really cold. Anyway, I digress.

We've had a lot of drain issues with this place. By ish-yahs I mean if I didn't babysit the washing machine the water would back up and flood the basement. And on those fun occasions where we get down pouring rain of biblical proportions, the basement floods. Where our bedroom is and the fa-game-a-den-off is located. (That's family room, game room, and den/office/school room all combined into one)

Fun times. Said no one ever.

We had an issue last month where we couldn't flush the downstairs toilet and sewage was starting to back up. Many calls were made and I am not a fan of the company the rental company uses to fix things since they took over 2 months to get anything done last year.

Like I said, I am not a fan.

The office gal and I had words last year and I heard from one of the workers when they finally got around to fixing the bathroom after sending out multiple guys to just look at the problem rather than actually fix it, that I was dubbed a pain in the butt. I smirked and said I've been called worse now do that dang job that was supposed to get done a month ago. Or something that was supposed to sound aggressive but sounded suspiciously like a chicken squawk. Although, my chicken feathers were starting to fly when it was the middle of July and still no air. What can I say? I got tired of these guys showing up at 9 am only to look around, make a list and promises of coming back and fixing it only to have days go by and repeat the process all over again. After the 3rd week, my clucking turned to cussing and it got done.

So all of that to say office gal and I don't like each other. When she called back to the emergency call of I can't flush the toilet, her response was "gosh, it's gonna be a week until we can get out there." I said wow, this is listed as an emergency and by law that means it's supposed to get taken care of within so many hours. She replied that she remembers this address and my's going to take us a week to get out there. Click!

Oh yes, she did.

I called the office manager and told her what was going on and she hit the roof. I highly suggested they find another company because they were getting bad service. Totally different company came out that evening and gasp! actually fixed the problem! No longer do I have to babysit the washing machine, although I still do because after a year of this, old habits die hard.

Turns out there are roots in the pipe. Do tell.
And the other handful of plumbers who came out never even got to the problem. What a shock.
He highly suggested not using that company again. Dude, you are preaching to the converted. Now go tell the office manager this information.
I didn't get to hear what the actually dollar amount is going to be but it was up there as they said there needs to be new pipes. Home owner doesn't want to do it. So far, they've only dumped root killer in the pipes. We haven't had any more problems so I'm hoping that fixed it. But glad I don't have to pay for it!

Now toss in some fun that the home owner bought this place at a tax sell and now has figured out there are issues and has been trying to sell it. There is a buyer so we've had assessors come and go. Maintenance people come and go. And the fun part is they only call Hubby's cell phone - not mine - so the person who is actually here and hanging out in her pjs has no clue someone will be showing up in T-minus 5 minutes.

I was in for quite a shock when one of the maintenance guys showed up who looked and sounded exactly like Ron White. I thought I was getting punked and almost asked if Larry the Cable Guy was going to show up next. Thankfully, I didn't go that far on sticking my foot in my mouth. I was barely able to keep a straight face while he was talking to me.

Nice to see I haven't matured very much.

I was sort of bummed as we had to sign another year lease, but it turns out it was a good thing we signed when we did because new owner was trying to figure out how to up our rent but can't until next year. Which we better be out of here or I think what is left of my patience will evaporate. However, the thought of moving in the middle of everything else going was more than I could bare. Me, being the delicate flower than I am and all.

No, seriously. There has been so much stuff going on that the very thought of mentally picturing packing up and moving caused me to have a seriously sob fest. It's been a stressful few months. Toss in my hormones are meaner than your hormones, and it left me in a deep fried mess.

The guys are still working on going around a corner smoothly. The other day, it wasn't and I feel like I'm in such a raw emotional state anyways that it was by the grace of God I didn't snap at them. Although I'm pretty sure the door handle will forever have my claw marks in it. Practice! Practice! Practice! I have more errands to run, so batter up!

I would ask for emotional support but at this stage just send chocolate!

Thursday, June 19, 2014


It's too bad that last week flashed by faster than I could ask, "What month is it anyway?" But I am happy to report that I didn't break down sobbing like an idiot at church. Instead, I was the annoying person flashing several pictures to have people look at me like seriously lady?

I'm going to miss that church.

I laughed when pastor Randy looked at the boys and said, "Crap! I knew this was going to happen. Which one are you?" I find it funny. Nicholas is 2 inches taller than Michael. What do you mean you can't tell them apart? Michael has a mustache and Nicholas has no mustache. They have tried everything they can think of to give people a fighting chance. They have also come to the conclusion that most people are not too bright and don't observe very well.

I told them I didn't want them to get jobs at the same place. This is going to be a pain as far as juggling everyone's schedule, but they can't go to the store without it causing some type of reaction. I want them to have something on their own and not constantly compared to the other one or someone asking if they're twins.

But I wasn't prepared when they asked all the family members to come up too. So I wasn't able to get a whole lot of pictures. Oh well. It went well, had a good time, and a huge feeling of accomplishment is had by all. And for whatever reason, blogger won't load any of the pictures I'm trying to add of the special day.

Crud. How am I suppose to gloat now?

Now the fun part. I sent out graduation announcements. The trouble with this is - I have lost most of the address we had. I'm sure it's buried somewhere around here in a box, but try as I might - I haven't found it. I made a plea on Facebook that if anyone was interested in getting one to please let me know and I need their address. No one responded.

Okay then.

I was able to scrape together a list with actual addresses and mailed them out. And here come the nasty phone calls and emails. Actually, it's just my mom. I didn't send any to a lot of cousins. Part of me feels like why should I? I didn't send their kids a card for their graduation so why would they send one to mine? I figured no harm, no foul. I guess I was wrong. But I'm connected to them via Facebook so I sent messages saying wasn't my intention to blow anyone off and they all said it's good and my mom is being silly.

Wasn't the word I was going to use but clearly they are more mature than I am. *couch, cough*

On top of that, there are people we use to go to church with and even a few who read this blog and sadly I don't have addresses to send them one. And as an added bonus - I only have 7 left. I did bloody well ask people, this crap ain't cheap, and people really do suck and I've lost all faith in humanity a long time ago. (See previous posts for the last 5 years) so there is that.

Sorry. But you like never call, you never write, you don't even comment on this blog sooo I'm thinking I am way off the hook on this one.

My mom said I've offended relatives. The relatives my kids have no knowledge of their existence. The relatives they'll never see. The relatives that I only see every 10 years. I'm sure they will learn to cope at some point in time. If not, this is going to make next month's reunion a trip and half.

My mom also wants me to send one to my brother. Yeah, about that. We sort of having a blinking contest which neither one of us has made an effort to contact the other one. So far it's been 8 years. Why would I break my winning streak now? Do I hold anything against him? That is sort of hard. Because I would say no, I don't hold anything against him, but I am hugely disappointed in him. It gets old real quick to hear him tell me everything I'm doing wrong in my life while he waits for parole.

So who knew graduating your kids would cause all kind of weird family issues to come bubbling up to the surface? Because I totally missed that memo. Or maybe that's just MY family and all its issues we tend to ignore.

Friday, June 6, 2014

I Knew I Was A Control Freak But My Word!

I think I reached a new level. I had the guys drive me to the store in their car, and I will admit there was a moment of sheer terror as the thought hit me that I'm putting my life in their hands. They did fine, but I had to battle every thought of "Let mommy do it!!" I think the circulation is returning to my hands from the death grip I had on the door handle.

That was hard! It's not that they are bad drivers, they just need some more practice. As Jared pointed out, they drive like little old ladies. I'm still surprised that one is still alive. But it's a whole new experience of letting your child decide if you're going to live or die. And there is nothing you can do about it! Gosh, I wonder if this is the same kind of terror my 94 year old grandma feels when her kids keep talking about shoving her into a nursing home.

Seriously, I had no idea to what degree I had things in my tight little grip. There are things the guys do on their own no big deal. But this involved ME! And I was at their mercy. I wasn't prepared for the emotions that would bring up. I almost feel like I need therapy now. Or maybe they need therapy - how to get your mother's claws off of your life. Which is odd because I didn't think I was doing that at all. There have been several things lately (job hunting!) that I've had them handle and do on their own.

This is going to be an interesting next few years.

Second, I find it a bit ri-donk-ulous the prices I've been finding regarding grad pictures. And that whole times 2 thing? This crap ain't cheap!! So after spending tons of time scouring the inter-webby I came to the conclusion I was just going to wing it with my camera.

Somehow I managed to con talk the guys into mowing the lawn. Then I stressed out so they took pity on me and we did some pictures because nothing makes me move faster and stress more than waiting till that last minute to do senior pictures and make announcements like needing it done like NOW!

Procrastinators unite! Tomorrow! At some your convenience....or not.

But the beauty of it is we have this huge tree out back so I used that as a backdrop and it worked out perfectly! I snapped a few from my phone and posted it on facebook and people are already saying nice pic! So naturally the ones from my camera will be a lot better. Hopefully.

Next came the price game to see who has a better deal. Is it cheaper for me to have announcements made or make them myself? In case you were really wondering that question - it is way cheaper to have them made at like Wal-Mart, Walgreens, and CVS verses some of the other uppity sites I've been on. Kaye gave me a few good pointers because I found it much cheaper at Wal-Mart than anywhere else! (Thanks Kaye!)

But this has left me to the point where I'm slamming my head repeatedly on the desk. Lot of stuff to wade through. I got over feeling guilty about the whole party thing and that was mostly because people took pity on all my whining to tell me story after story of people shelling out hundreds for a party and hardly anyone showed up. I waved buh-bye at that guilt only to have the next one roll in when my mom couldn't believe I wasn't going to make the announcements. I got over that one fairly quickly when I started price checking stuff.

And I quote: "Ain't nobody got time for dat!"

Jared pointed out that he doesn't know why I'm bothering - it's not like it's a party announcement, I don't have a lot of people's address any more thanks to moving twice in a year, and it's not like I want any of the relatives to show up either.

See previous statement about not sure how he is still living.

While he does have a point, I feel all this pressure to do it. We ordered their diplomas and they arrived today! Woot woot! Here is something you never hear at a home school convention - what to name your school. You want people to take their education seriously, but if you name their high school Lil Shepherd's Academy - might not have the right punch to it. Or they may get asked if they rode the short bus to school. I don't know. I can tell you after filling out tons of job applications you want to sound credible. 

But the stress has robbed me of all sleep. I told the guys if I break down bawling this Sunday it may be mainly from a lack of sleep. Actually, we all know it's not true. Worth a shot.

We're picking up their cake tomorrow. Scratch that - they are picking up their cake tomorrow. I'll be making their favorite dips and snacks. My folks are coming down. Fred's folks can't make it. And our place is so small, it can barely handle us let alone extra people. But it'll be good. They'll get a bible with their name engraved on it at church, we'll give them their diplomas when we get back, awesome snackage will be had, and more pictures. Then next week I can get it all printed out and mailed off and then pass out.

Almost there!