Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Well That Was Surprising

Went to a family reunion and actually had a good time. Was the first time I didn't walk away with this overwhelming desire to slit my writs and end my existence. Guess there is a first for everything, so that's always a plus. Oh I kid. I'm a firm believer in sticking around if for no other reason than to piss people off who don't like me.

I have no idea if the guys had a good time because I ditched all of them and hung out with the ample amount of females that are in this clan and soaked up the estrogen. I felt slightly giddy from the hormone buzz.

But what shocked the snot out of me was everyone was telling me congrats on the guys. One cousin got me a gift and a touching card, and I heard my praises being sung for homeschooling. I was touched, surprised, and just a wee bit confused. These were the same relatives that have been telling me what a huge waste of time my life has been and how I was screwing up my kids. For years I've been hearing all the negative. Now on the other side of it, everyone was applauding my effort, saying what awesome men I have raised, how brave I have been through it all, and how they admire me.

Um, okay.

I had this moment of panic that I was at the wrong house with the wrong people until I saw my mom grinning at me. She actually winked at me. She heard all the same negative stuff from all the same people about me, so in a way this was a nod to her too.

I found myself trying to figure out what flipped everyone's switch. So far I've drawn a complete blank. Fred didn't escape either. Everyone was impressed that he "reinvented himself" and did a different career choice. Although I did kick him when he told one cousin he was a drug dealer. She doesn't have much of a sense of humor and judging from the look on her face, she thought he was serious. Then he got asked all kinds of questions about different medicine that they were taking. After hearing what all everyone was on and for what, I'm thinking maybe the side effect was the culprit to losing all the judgmental comments.

Jury is still out on that one.

The guys got asked all kinds of questions like what are you going to do with your life? They replied they are doing the gap year thing to give themselves some time to hear from God and try to get everything all lined up. I was braced for the negative comments and was a bit surprised when none came, and then grinned like proud momma hen when everyone said that showed a huge sign of maturity on their part. I was able to restrain myself from running up to Fred and doing a chest bump. But only slightly.

But that is off the checklist and on to the next hurdle. And that hurdle has the name of schedule and is it one big mean sucker! Someone is coming and going just about everyday. We had to brave stuffmart because the pantry is at an all time low and this is my only chance to get there since that schedule thing morphed into a giant mutant monster. Part of my brilliant plan was to get a dry erase board to help keep everyone on track with what all is going on. Now toss that brilliant plan out the window.

Why, you don't wonder? So glad you didn't ask because now I'm going to tell you. I couldn't find a white board. Found neon blue and green boards. Black boards, even a red board. But no white. Silly me thought the markers that the same company was selling would show up on their product.

That would be a big NO.

Now I have a black board already on my wall and markers desperately trying to tell me the schedule but sadly the black board is having none of it and is keeping everything a big mystery.

I now get to find pastel markers in hopes to see how crazy busy we are. Although, I'm starting to wonder why I'm even bothering. Work keeps calling me every.single.day as they don't have enough cashiers to cover stuff thus throwing all my plans right out the window. I'm still trying to recover from the weekend so I didn't bother to answer when my phone rang at 8 am.

Good-bye sleep! I'll miss you!

I have this annoying feeling I'm going to get another call tomorrow morning to see if I'll work. I might do it if the hours are daytime, but I'm not signing up to close on purpose. I'm still trying not to dry heave from having to clean up the bathrooms from closing this last weekend. I'm starting to hope there is a place in hell for people who refuse to clean up after themselves in public bathrooms. Has society really come down to gosh I just can't push the button to flush because I'm too important and therefore my sh!t don't stink? Really?

*shudder*

I will say I am so glad I didn't have to balance a job and homeschooling. When the kids were little and money always seems to be tight, I often wondered if I should get a job. For me, I'm not wired to do it. I come home drained and have very little patience to hear what the guys have to say. I'm glad I was home and gave them my all. They aren't always going to be little or even around, so I have a lot of peace that I did the right thing. Why, oh why, did that take so long to show up? Having spent years questioning if I was doing the right thing and not really knowing to now knowing, sort of makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Oh how I wished I would have walked in the moment and been more at peace than to question every step of the way worried! Also wished I could have held off doing this for a couple more years, but it is what it is.

Schools are starting up around here next week. J and I just laughed and laughed because we are still a month away before starting back up with him.

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