Thursday, December 17, 2015

And Here I Thought I Was Tired

Turns out I am flat out exhausted! I think last week's crisis has settled down. I'm right now up to my eyeballs with this week's idea of how to mess with me.

Actually, it's been more than a week but at this rate, I can't keep up! My dad had finished doing a craft show selling the BBQ sauce when he fell over dead. Seriously. He had to be shocked twice to get his heart starting again. It was thought that he had another heart attack but to make a long story short, his heart had a brain fart and his whole body shut down. I'm going to take this moment and say you hear all the evil that is out there and you sometimes wonder is God even paying attention. Let me tell you, YES, HE IS!

Dad had just finished up, was minutes away from getting behind the wheel and heading off to the next show on his busy schedule. He said he started feeling lightheaded and sat down and the next thing he remembers was waking up Sunday morning in a hospital. However, he JUST so happened to be in a room with other vendors who turned out to be a nurse, an EMT, a fireman, and a police officer was on site. A room full of total strangers came together and helped someone out in need. People finished loading up his van for him, another one called my mom, and everyone rushed him to the hospital. They said he was a local celebrity from all the commotion it caused.

It was bad. And we are all convinced if they would have had to call 911 and waited, there would have been no bringing him back. His BP was so low they couldn't give him any meds. Anytime they gave him anything stronger than Tylenol he crashed on them. He was in Ohio and mom rushed to be by his side while Fred and I went to packed up the other show he was supposed to be at. We were going to head to the hospital the next day and drive dad's van back to their place and see what all mom needed done.


Got a phone call from the hospital about 2:30 am. that my Mom almost passed out on them. She was white as a sheet and had slurred speech so they sent her to the ER. I said good call as she has had a history of stroke.

Dad in ICU and Mom in ER. These people! I swear I am ready to commit them some place!

I felt bad because I only woke up one kid to let him know what was going on, and then Fred and I were out the door to make a 3 hour drive. I should have woke them all up and let them know what was going on. Not everyone saw the note we left so there was some panic with J until he found out what was going on. Bad call on my part.

Added bonus! We ran into heavy fog the last half hour of the drive. Turned out Mom was fine, she didn't eat, didn't drink water, and was on her feet for over 5 hours with dad. They had her back up in his room before we got there. Thankfully Sissy and her mom had drove up to see them thinking we were going to be there. They sat with them and she text me updates. At one point my mom told her to text me everything is fine to relax. I told Sissy to tell her to bite me. I guess she handed to phone over to my mom who cracked up laughing at it and all the nurses decided they loved me and couldn't wait till I got there.

I got to boss the crap out of my mom. It was glorious!

I will say in her defense she didn't really have the time to eat or drink. Dude was in a lot of pain and was thrashing around a lot. They had to strap his hands down as he had pulled on every tube. They were using his right leg's main artery so that leg had to be in a brace to keep him from moving. We had to fight with his left leg as it want to bang into the right leg knocking out the port as that would be really bad. So for 5 hours straight mom had to keep wrestling with his leg, needless to say it wore her out. He was out of it. It was the body just responding out of the shock and pain. Plus he was trying to find a comfortable position.

Once I got there I took over the wrestling match with dad's leg and let her sleep. Fred was smart, he found a recliner in the ICU waiting room that folded out flat and he slept for 5 hours. I think I got 1 hour of sleep. He did most of the driving all day so I was glad he was somewhat rested.

I have had everyone texting me asking me if I'm freaking out. Nope. I haven't even shed a tear. I'm fine. At this stage, it was his 3rd attack. I know the lingo, I know what they are concern about, I know what they are aiming for. Got it. So I just roll with the punches on what needs to get done now and what needs to get done next.

Fred was checking out all the meds they had him on and was explaining what meds was for what and what it should do. We drove dad's van home the next day and got mom a change of clothes. When we came back, Fred noticed right away his BP was up saw all the new bags of meds and asked why they were giving him antibiotics. The lungs had too much fluid in them and got pneumonia in both lungs. I'm not sure they told mom that or not - she seemed surprised Fred figured it out.

I had to dragged mom down to the cafeteria a couple of times to get her something to eat. She kept saying she wasn't hungry and I kept saying I didn't give a rat's @$$ she was going to eat anyway to keep her strength up. I said if I get another phone call because she was being stupid, I was going to return with my angry eyebrows and I was taking over. She started laughing and so did the nurses. Mom looked at them and asked if she had a choice and they said nope. I've asked her everyday if she's eaten anything and what she has had to eat. She needs to eat more protein. Which is flipping hilarious because she was just going off about grandma when they were down for Thanksgiving about not eating right and here she's doing the same thing.

The irony was rather thick. So much so, that I told mom she was acting like her MIL. If looks could kill.

It took a few days for him to get transported back to Indiana with his heart doctor. Was really happy when he was off the ventilator. His doctor was not happy with him. He wanted to insert a defibrillator pacemaker back when dad has his heart attack 3 years ago. My folks both said the doctor didn't tell them the odds, I guess with his condition every year increases his risk of having another heart attack. His heart was down to functioning at only 15% and my dad tends to over-dos things.

I took the guys up to see him the day before they did the procedure with the pacemaker. I think Jared needed to see him to make sure everything was okay. Nicholas teased him that if wanted them to come visit he could have just asked. That got a round of chuckles. We took mom out to eat and I made her eat.

Talked to them today and they are just both worn flat out. I can imagine! She said she has no energy to do anything. Dad said last night was the first night he got to sleep in his bed and slept all night. I think he had to have his arm in a sling and had to be elevated for a few days. Sounds like they are on the mend.

Wished it wouldn't have happened, but relieved that even though it was a crazy mess to go through, glad the right people were at the right place at the right time. Very grateful for Fred helping me juggle everything. Couldn't have done it without him. We had to rush back home to get a guy to an interview and he was off to work. I got a few days to chill and then it was on to the next round of stuff to deal with because the craziness continues.

I could use some of that Peace on Earth right about now. I got to take a guy into work for training at 2 a.m. and then pick him up around 5:30 seeings how the brakes went out on their car today. But of course it did! Grr!

Saturday, November 28, 2015

You Know I'm Tired When...

All I can do is shrug my shoulders at this point if you can even see the blog straight. Let's just say I wrestled with this thing waaay longer than I had intended and now I'm totally over it. The banner and the background don't want to line up and play nice.

I'm now at the official whatever stage.

That could just be George talking. Then again this caused a deep level of angst to rise up and throw things. So far the eye twitch is talking me out of throwing the keyboard, so there's the one and only happy thing going for me right at this moment.

Welp. We survived Thanksgiving. I hope you all - ya'll - whatever - had a wonderful time. My dad was in a good mood, grandma was hanging in there, and mom raided my books. Fun was had by all. Fred managed to score some overtime so we won't start decorating until Monday. I don't like it when Thanksgiving falls at the very end of November. I feel like the Christmas decorations don't get enough time to fully annoy me so that I am properly motivated to pack them all away.


The guys have gone through another round of interviews and fingers crossed they both may have finally snagged a job. I have noticed that if you are in your 20s that anyone and everyone will come up to you and ask you all kinds of questions ranging from school to career to relationships. And like any 20 something year old will tell you - that gets old real flipping quick! I'm trying to maintain that whole boundary line where I don't share too much with what is going on with them. I don't know about you, but nothing annoyed me more then when my mom would start telling people my life story while I was standing right there.


We are actually kicking around the idea of popping up to Michigan for a day and kind of hitting everything we miss. I'm slightly embarrassed to say most of it involves food. But they ARE guys and one of them did say his favorite hobby was to eat. From what I hear that's exactly what their dad said when he was their age. Well, okay, then.

The downer is there is only one day that is going to work with Fred's crazy schedule. So our plans are just going to have to sort of hang in the unknown while we wait to see what is happening with the guys' and their schedule. I'm sort of feeling 50/50 on it. I don't like to be rushed and there is a strong possibility that it would be a day of go!go!GO! And that's not even considering seeing anyone. Although, to be honest, it would be a very short list. Sort of makes me tired just thinking about it. My mom said I was being a total pansy who needed to get over it and just do it. I wasn't aware she was a spokes person for Nike. And if she is - they have my sympathy. Lot of driving. And the newbie drivers flipped out and said no when I asked if they would do some of it.

For now I'm just going to hang out with my blanket I finally got done. I refuse to take pictures of it because 3 panels managed to come out in some whack-a-do pattern and the rest didn't. I had to add a few more inches more on a couple panels because a couple balls of yarn were a bit short. Of course, the added on part ended up with a totally different goofy pattern. I have made a Frankenblankie! It ain't gonna win any awards, but it feels wonderful and is super duper soft!! I guess that's all that matters.

Matter of fact, it's calling my name as I feel I could use a nap. For like 3 days.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Mail, E.Mail

You've got questions? Well, I don't have answers!
So I've received a few emails saying how they can't get my blog posts anymore. Frankly, I find that surprising as I wasn't aware anyone could even get this via email. Clearly, my tech savvy skills are lacking. But I think I'm having issues on my settings, because I have no idea what I'm doing.

As if this should surprise anyone.

I think the last setting I did changed the whole universe. Not really, but that's how it feels. Not sure what to do. My blog traffic went through the roof last year and I couldn't figure out why. It's not like I've been out there blog hopping and trying to pull in traffic.

Sidenote: I need to find more blogs to read as most of the people on my sidebar list have stopped blogging or have hit a slump like me where life grabs them by the face and slams them into a wall. Thank goodness for the popular blogs as I would be lost without them. I need something to read. Unlike my blog posts that tend to be more like a mini-series or a short book with no plot.

Anyhoo, I had noticed this nachobot site that kept popping up every day and I came across another blogger who was furious with this site. She had the same thing happen: spike in blog traffic for no reason, some email from some dude who's name you can't pronounce saying he would like to add blog to his website and it would increase traffic. I'm not really sure how it works. I know you have to sign into his website which seems a bit shady. After reading this other blogger, it's sounds several shades shady. Apparently, it copies your blog WITHOUT PERMISSION, puts it on their site, slaps advertisements on it and banks the money off of your work. Not cool!

From what I've gathered the guy refuses to stop using your blog even after you ask him to stop. There were a few suggestions and one of them was to change up some settings. I did and traffic has come to a sad trickle. Granted, I've been a bad blogger for not putting out consistent stuff, but this brought it to a dead stop. I'm still getting a lot of traffic on the older blog posts, but nothing on the new stuff. Not sure if I should go back to original settings or what to do. I'm not really sure I want 30 people from Japan reading my posts. What if I say something really stupid and it's offensive in their culture? Possibly not but why take that chance? These are some of the random thoughts I have. Like why would anyone from Germany read this? I can only imagine how strange a lost in translation this would all sound. Then again, maybe I sound like I'm completely another language.

I'm thinking no.

I'm still trying to figure out how to put the settings back without having some creepier run of with my blog posts and make some sweet pocket change while I do all of this for nothing. I'm now starting to reconsider Adsense. I had it briefly many moons ago, but took it down once it got hacked and ads for products that scare me starting showing up. We have products that can grow parts of the male anatomy and there are still diseases out there without a cure because WHY?!?

Another email I get a lot is why don't I have a Facebook page for my blog. Good question. 1) I'm sort of on the lazy side, so I haven't bothered to look into it. 2) I have people I'm forced to be friends with on Facebook and there is no way on God's green earth that I want them to read my blog.

Don't act like you don't KNOW what I'm talking about. Relatives are weird. You want to stay in touch with people and it's even better to know what's going on with them without ever having to talk to them thanks to Facebook. It's also mildly entertaining to see how they present themselves to the world when you know for a fact that they are full of it, and it takes superhuman strength not to comment liar, liar pants on fire on some of their posts.

The struggle is real.

I would like to tell you I'm going to get better at writing blog posts consistently but I have a feeling that would be a lie. Holiday season is gearing up, and I'm not really sure where the schedule stands at this moment. I got the book sale this week and I started a PMS Club with some of my former co-workers. That's going to make for a busy weekend!

Monday, November 2, 2015

A List As To Why My Nerves Are Not Happy

I had a moment where I was ready to wave a white flag and and scream, "I surrender!!!!" all dramatic like William Wallace in Braveheart. Granted, I'm not having my guts yanked out, but emotionally it certainly feels like it. So much so, that my sanity did take a belly flop off of the cliffs of insanity and is currently doggie-paddling through denial.

Story No.1
We had a mouse get in the house. As in saw the critter doing mach 6 along the floor. It was his 5th flyby that my brain could process what I just saw and then proceed to freak out. Mouse traps loaded with peanut butter were laid out, and the little rat fink managed to swipe a fair share of PB before meeting his demise. Since it got in through the garage door (because I stupidly left the door propped open when we were bringing in groceries not realizing that a mouse or 20 was floating around in the garage) and we had some extra traps, we set a few out in the garage. I'm just going to say I'm still kinda of freaked out that 1 of the traps has gone MIA. Now I'm starting to list off critters that will just act like a mouse trap is some fancy new designer jewelry rather than the death trap it was meant to be.

Why did I do zoology with J? Why?!? And when I mentioned this, he filled in a few more suggestions that I hadn't thought of. Thanks a lot kid.

I thought that our mouse drama was all done as we had quite the pile of mouse bodies, but sadly that would be a no. I was cleaning up after dinner and heard a lot of scratching under the sink. We sat down to watch some TV and I just happened to look over into the kitchen when I saw an itty bitty mouse walking around all chill like as if he was touring the place to see if this would work for him. The kick board under the cabinet sink was missing as we think they had water damage at one time. I think this is where Tiny got in so I had Fred fix the problem. Trouble with that is he left the back door propped open for the compressor hose and a few more mice got in.

Of course they did! Because the eye twitch didn't have enough things to twitch about.

We set out even more traps so the kitchen ended up looking like a minefield. I would like to take this moment to point out that Cinderella had to have had hamsters because these things are so tiny. And PB is mouse crack. They've cleaned out 4 traps while we were standing around in the kitchen. Because we are very observant around here. Thankfully, it seems we've got them all. The trap right by the frig was the winner with 4 kills. We got a few more in the garage and I will be putting decon on my list of things to get immediately. Because eww. Just eww

More Eww with Story No.2
I was not aware that there are rather large spiders down here in the big city. I mean mutant, spooky, I will eat your liver size spiders. It takes at least, AT LEAST (did you read that?) 3 whacks to stun it before you can slow it down long enough to crush it. The carnage from these nasty things is film worthy. M went to grab a flyswatter and I said to use my shoe instead as the sucker would have yanked the flyswatter out of his hand and used it on him.

Good granny!

We've sprayed around the house but ran out of the stuff before we got to the front porch area. And it seems anytime someone comes through the front door a spider would scoot right on in. How we have missed a huge spider the size and thickness of a golf ball hanging around the door confuses me. Although now that we managed to miss a few mice swipe PB right in front of us I guess I should not be confused anymore. My hero came home with more bug spray and pretty much baptized the front door for me. I have yet to go outside and clean the glass door from all his spray drippings because I was too busy thinking I'm going to catch a mouse with a broom and a dustpan.

At least mice aren't as scary as a squirrel is when it charges at you. I still haven't forgotten THAT incident of yore.

I would also like to rant that Pinterest has lied to me as it claimed both mice and spiders don't like peppermint oil. I had previously hosed down all the doors with watered down peppermint oil and they didn't seem to notice at all. I even tried spearmint just in case I got the wrong mint and it didn't do squat.

I haven't seen any more mutant spiders but they must not be happy because I woke up with a couple spider bites on my eyelid. MY FREAKING EYELID!!! I'm not sure what type of revenge this is but it seems pretty serious. I have milked the line from Megamind, "my spider bite is acting up" approximately 342 times. The other night it got really itchy and I just wanted to find a shoulder and rub my eyelid all over it because I apparently I'm part cat.

Story No.3
Long story short, we have a security system that pretty much hates me. I say hate because me, myself, and only I have managed to set the thing off a few times. I was doing dishes late one night and put a lid on the crock pot and it thought a window broke and went off. Another one was I'm still not use to this oven + I was trying a new recipe = hey the smoke alarm works! My ears were still ringing an hour later.
My favorite - read that sarcastically - is when it loses signal, it will freak out. Not sure why it's losing signal but not a fan of it freaking out. Especially when it's 4:30 in the morning, and I was home alone because the guys went camping for some manly quality time. The advertisement said to bring you peace of mind. I say bull hockey! It's made me jumpy. And kind of hateful as I stick my tongue out at it almost every time I walk past it.

I've been told I really need to start acting more mature as I'm setting a bad example. That and I can't refer to it as Ethel who tends to lose her mind. I did apologize to it and have now called it Spike hoping this will make it feel more protective rather than feeling all senile. We'll see if this will make it behave.

Story No.4
A few weekends ago I ended up staying with my mom to help her out with a craft show. I'm not exactly sure how I got roped into this, but I survived. I had to help her out as my dad, once again, overbooked himself. At one point my mom yanked on my arm and pointed out a gal that has us still chuckling. All I can say is bless her heart and at least she tried. She had on leggings and a top that covered her rear end, however, the top was a few sizes too snug as it was on that booty like plastic wrap. It bonus points as it had a dog picture that landed right on the booty with the front legs on one cheek and the back legs on the other cheek. It gave a whole new meaning to walking the dog, because it looked like the dog was actually walking with every step she took. And there was my mother and I trying not to snort with laughter.

Because we are a legacy of maturity.

In the middle of all that, my grandma was having all kinds of heart issues. So after we wrapped up the show, mom had to run over and stay with grandma. The hard part is grandma and my mom don't get along that great. That whole mother in law relationship is rather tricky. I would like to think I'm going to make a great MIL some day because I'm armed with a lot of don't do this or that real life experiences from multi-generations. One can hope.

Story No.5
The whole job application has been a bit stressful. Especially when the guys have been required to take 15 page psychological and personality profiles. I'm rather surprised how flipping uppity some of these stores are getting on their hiring process. If you actually pass that level, they let you move on and again, everyone is requiring a resume. I thought we were all going to need therapy and/or a stiff drink after a couple. It took all of us scrambling for info and after 3 hours they both had only applied to 1 store each. Re-donku-lous! Very grateful for the few people that have been willing to be references for the guys. If that wasn't stressful enough, toss in a couple interviews and the whole thanks, we'll call you. Way to leave them hanging.

That sort of leads right into Story No. 6
We're a bit discouraged. Lot of applications, only a few interviews, and still left hanging. I've been assured by numerous people this is normal and all part of the hiring process now days, but it has brought out my pushy side. It was brought to my attention that I tend to completely overwhelm the guys with words in general. We were having a discussion about all my pushiness and how pressure is being felt. I pointed out that I had to push because he's blown off a few things and now instead of one thing to deal with, he now has a few piled up. It seems I have passed along the procrastinating gene. Of course, it has to land on the one that has anxiety issues and a touch of OCD. Even though I was right on my points, I did acknowledge that he was completely right that I tend to hose them all down with lists upon lists and all the words. My mind is always thinking about 50 different things. I start to build up a list of things to "mention" to the guys but I don't always have time. So once I remember or have the chance - open the flood gates!

It was one of those conversations that you know you're both right but you just feel like you blew the whole thing, but it doesn't make the situation any better because life keeps on chugging. On top of it, I had kept pushing for 2 different stores for the guys to apply at, and both kept saying they weren't getting any peace about it and blew me off. I was irritated about it and kept bringing up both stores over and over in that whole flood of words. Last week both places had shootings within a couple days of each other. That was a huge humble pie shoved in the face. Neither guy said "I told you so!" but I caught the look they exchanged with each other when we heard the news.

They really are taking the time to hear from God. And I really should be proud of them that they are putting a lot of things into practice. I just can't seem to get past the frustration that the door hasn't opened faster and sooner for them. I think it's my own issues I'm pushing off onto them. I told them this too and said I have no idea how not to do it either. I'm done offering suggestions because between the 2 of them, they have hosed everyone down. Now I get to sit through those withered looks they shoot at me that screams "Oh mother! You have no idea what you are talking about!"

Right. Because it's not like I have life experiences or anything. Just a complete moron who has managed not to kill them off.

The day is young.

I think I'm also extra emotional because they are turning 20 this week. How in da hail did that happen?!? I look back at all the stuff I've wanted to do for them and couldn't. I look at all the junk we've gone through and wished we hadn't. But they really are quite amazing and have a deeper faith than I ever had. I was told that because they were early, it would take them a while to catch up. They'll get there - they always have and usually the extra few paces gives them a better insight and grasp on things.

If I could just.stop.freaking.out and, for all that is good and holy, stop being so impatient and frustrated about everything! Might as well ask for world peace while I'm tackling the impossible.

Story No.7
As if finding out I'm sort of the main source of the twins' anxiety lately wasn't enough to have me running for the hills, but apparently my youngest son is a total chick magnet. While I was up helping my mom, J was helping my dad at a covered bridge festival selling BBQ sauce. My dad has said every.single.time he takes J, the girls check him out something fierce. A few of them will even drag their parents over to buy something just so they can bat their eyelashes at him. All of which flies right over his head. Dad said this one girl had the hots for the boy and stalked him. She kept walking by the booth trying to get dude's attention, sometimes he would nod at her, but mostly tried to ignored her. She asked if she could take his picture with the sauce so she could get her mom to buy some aaannnd he actually believed her.

Clueless - thy name is Jared.

Dude went to get some water and she followed him. She walked up to him and started talking away at him, and then just reached over and grabbed his hand. He said it was the most awkward thing in the world. He said he tried to pull his hand away but she had a death grip on his hand. He came back to the booth and he said she side hugged him for almost a minute. He was not thrilled. My dad was wheezing with laughter at this point telling me about it while dude was several shades of red. But then she followed him into the booth and my dad had to shoo her away as that can cause liability issues. She must have had her feelings hurt, because she ran over to her dad and said something to him, who then came to their booth and yelled at my dad to keep his grandson away from his daughter.

My dad better be glad I wasn't there. Because couldn't you just see me going off on him to keep his little creepier away and causing a bit of a commotion? I sure could!

Not going to lie, the whole thing sort of freaks me out. That could have turned ugly. This girl stalks him, takes his picture, grabs him, but if she would have said anything against him, he would have looked bad even though he didn't do anything. He had less than zero interest, didn't encourage her, didn't know how to get her to leave him alone, and had to stand there as the dad yelled at him to stay away from his daughter. I'm still a bit shocked at how bold this girl was but at the same time I'm not. Dad pointed out that Jared is a good looking kid, he has confidence, and he's very likable.

I might have to arm my kid with bear spray from now on.

It's weird. You have talks with your kids to look out for suspicious people and to be aware of their surroundings. Didn't really picture myself having to tell my guys to watch out for stalkers and protect their reputations because girls are crazy. Don't get me wrong, we've had talks. Lots of talks. It's still weird though, because in all my scenarios in my head, never pictured my guys getting stalked.

We were all at a restaurant and I went to use the bathroom. A gal followed me in and asked if N had a girlfriend, and if he didn't could I put in a good word for her with....wait for brother! That turned several shades weird when I said that was my son! And that was a no go on the good word part. At least she had the decency to blush. I noticed a gal checking out M while we were visiting a church a few weeks ago. I asked him about it and he said he is so freaked out trying to figure out his future that a girl is the last thing he needs in his life right now. I had to laugh at that one. Fine with me!

I was telling Sissy about the whole thing with J and she said aww he survived his first stalking. It took me a few beats to realize she wasn't joking. She started laughing at me and said all of her friends would stalk guys. She informed me that we have been living in a bubble because we should have had this happening for the last few years. I'm now terrified. I seriously felt a new crop of grey hair pop up over this last couple weeks over everything. Seriously do not need chick drama right now thankyouverymuch!!

On top of that, Jared got sick the last two days and ended up sitting in dad's van. Dad complained a lot how he wasn't much help the last day. Dude was running a fever and did not feel good at all. I asked dad why he didn't just text me and I would have swamped out guys as M was willing to help out. He said he didn't even think about it. But instead, he complains to me and constantly points out how he was frustrated with J. Never said anything to the boy but expects him to be older and act accordingly. I think I see why my brother acted out like he did at this age. Very frustrating when you can't seem to please someone no matter how hard you try. Grr.

And last story
I got an email from the regional store asking me to come back to Jo-Ann's for a seasonal position. I'm actually considering it. And then I tend to smack myself in the face for even thinking it. Fred tells me no because we are hopeful one of these places is going to hire the guys here shortly, and I've already had to be a taxi a few times with schedules all over the place. Toss in how unpredictable my work schedule was and the possibility of leaving the guys in the lurch is highly probable. But that whole extra money thing is tempting. I know the store, I know where stuff is, I know how to run the registers, I know the job so it wouldn't rattle me at all. But my favorite manager moved to a different state, some of my favorite people have quit, I hate closing, holiday shoppers are the devil, the traffic up there is psychotic, and they have all new different policies from new management that has caused the store to take a nose dive in the toilet.

So the nerves and emotions are on overdrive right now. The good news is I finished my blanket I was making and I have a lovely new blanket fort to not want to crawl out from underneath. Except the weather is still in the 70s. Because Indiana weather is weird. I had the heat on last week and almost turned the air on yesterday.

But I'm prepared for when it's cooler. Hopefully the nerves will chill out too.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Happy Dances And Reality Checks

Sort of a bummer when they show up at the same time, but that's life for ya. Happy dance - we are about 90% unpacked. I still need to paint the guys' bathroom and the downstairs bathroom. I'm putting the kitchen off for awhile because the reality check is I have a rib out of place again. Every now and then my arm will go nub and then I have shooting tingles as the circulation kicks back in. It seems doing repetitive motion makes it really bad. Things like painting and cleaning and life in general seems to cause all these issues of my arm not cooperating.

I need to find a chiropractor. Like yesterday. And I will....eventually. Maybe. Possibleness. Like the possibility is there, but I just sort of have 1500 other things demanding my attention right now.

Another happy dance is dude passed his driver's test and both twins have their driver's license now. Dude nailed the parallel parking first try and smooth sailing from there. For some odd reason he didn't want me to be the one to take him. It's possible that his reasons for it is because when he came home with a big grin on his face, I made a huge scream fest of happy over him. I think it was my 4th lap around the house he told me to put a sock in it. Imagine how embarrassing that would have been in public. I've already set them on a few quests of running errands for me and! Out of milk? Hey! One of you go to the store and get some more milk, please?


The reality check is job hunting. And let me go off on a major rant about this because Oh.Mah.Gawd!! I don't like adulting and to try and help newbie adults try to adult? Well, let's just say there is only enough room in the blanket fort for me! And it's about a 50/50 if I'm willing to ever see the light of day again. I'm in the weird combo of cheerleader and boot.

Once upon a time you went to a place that you were hoping to get a job at. You would fill out an application, turn it in, and wait for the hiring manager to call you. Now days you have to go online to apply, which is fine so long as the freaking software program actually works. We've had a few problems of places not letting us log back in and/or not recognizing the password and won't let you reset it. And I want to know who these high and mighty stores think they are fooling. A resume? Seriously? Your crappy retail store is asking for a resume?!? And it won't let you apply unless there is a resume and a cover letter?!? Do you know how hard it is to come up with something for people who have never had experience? It's been challenging enough for one, but oh happy day, we have the twin thing we always have to deal with. I thought all of our brains were going to explode all over the floor after coming up with a glorious piece of fluff after going through the process for each one, because you have to tweak it for each place. Times this by 2.

I'm at the point where when people say to me they've always wanted twins, I'm just going to slap them right upside the head for not thinking that one all the way through.

One thing I am insisting on is that I do not want them working at the same place. They have to deal with the whole twin comments all the time and people constantly compare them. That would suck a thousand times over to have your work be judged against your brother, especially if it's something he is better at doing. This has left double the searching efforts. And they have been rejecting every.single.suggestion that I have made. Leaving it up to them hasn't gone very fast, so the cheerleader is resting and the boot has come out to play. There has been a lot of stuff happening and a lot of juggling that has been going on and it hasn't been easy on all of us for different reasons.

On top of that, J is back in the swing of things for school. Honestly, it's been just a hot mess of all kinds of emotions going on. It hasn't helped that both sets of grandparents came down with a ton of guilt and pressure on the guys. I get what they are saying, but not everyone has it all together right out of high school. Moving to a big city has been a huge adjustment for us and no one seems to get that. It got pretty bad and there were a lot of words that were said and a lot of hurt feelings. Part of me feels that dealing with people just isn't worth it anymore. Am I the only one out there that is tired of having to be measured by other people's standards and opinions?

If that wasn't enough to do us in, the worthless rental company tried to slap us with a bill for $3000 to fix all the damages they claimed we caused. It was a long list of bull as they tried to say all the light bulbs weren't working etc. While we knew they were going to pull some shady stuff, that took the cake! They sent a collection agency after us. After we sent our letter contesting it, they decided to reduce the amount to $1600. If they think they are getting a nickle out of me, than they are sadly mistaken. But it's been a royal pain to have to get this stuff out in the mail because they date all their stuff and then wait three weeks before they mail it to claim we went pass the 30 days to contest.

The words - they are plentiful and foul.

But on a brighter note, we finally have all our books unpacked! We ended up getting 6 cheapo bookshelves but then Fred clamped and screwed it all together making it looking like a fancy built in. It really is nice to look at. I need a couple comfy chairs in there but that is for a later time. I talked my mom into helping me decorate and stage stuff. Sadly, I did not get that from the gene pool. She made it all look very nice. She said we still have more to do in the dining room, but I'm not sure what she had in mine. But she surprised me with how nice everything turned out. I still can't figure out how to get blogger to load a picture, so you'll just have to take my word that it looks nice. We even have room on the shelves for more books, so this is an extra happy moment. At least I think we have room. I still have about two boxes worth of stuff to read. I am happy to report that I've been buzzing through a few so there is hope I'll get caught up.

That is until I go to the next book sale. Minor detail.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

I Survived!!

I will be honest, I'm wasn't so sure I was going to pull through as it was sort of touch and go there for a while. However, Fred's plan H, as I'm now calling it, held true and we made it. Sure there were some awkward moments like when I found out my FIL shoved a basket of our dirty clothes and a bag of my clean clothes unzipped and shoved onto his open trailer that caused me to have a few panic attacks. I looked at my MIL and said I'm amazed we didn't find my bras and underwear thrown all the place from here to there. She got a good laugh out that one.

I'm still not laughing about it.

And it was a really weird feeling to see my son drive off in his car with his brothers. Although, I am quite proud of myself that I didn't get all teary eyed about it. I was happy for him. But it was one of the weirdest feelings. I did get the other son into the BMV and he passed, like we knew he would, and he is scheduled for another road test. So far marinating him in calming oils hasn't done squat for his nerves.

But he smells nice.

We did have one guy step off the moving truck too soon and cut open his thumb and banged up his knees pretty good, but ever ready Freddie pulled out an emergency kit from his car and got him cleaned up. All while I had to sit down with my head between my knees as I about passed out. Well it WAS a lot of blood, m'kay? Come to think of it, this is the second time N pulled some sort of major injury during a move.

Note to self - get more bubble wrap. And remind Fred to make sure his emergency kit is fully stocked. Scratch that - I'm not moving ever again!

The guys were great. They really made moving easier. Who knew having adult children would actually come in handy? Not only did they handle moving stuff, but they helped paint their rooms too. It has been non-stop work. Teaching teenagers how to paint, interesting. But the older two were happy that they tried to do something new and are proud of their hard work. We are all happy with their rooms. J was super happy to get rid of the electric lime green walls and finally got a big boy bed as he called it. He's too tall for a twin size bed so we got him a full size. If he grows any taller I'm going to kick myself for not getting him a queen size.

Another little mishap was a Wal-Mart floor mat tried to kill me. We were running in, grabbing just a few things, and bugging out. At least that is what we attempted until a wet floor mat took my butt down! That magic carpet ride was over in .3 seconds resulting in me landing on my knees - hard! That was over a week ago and my knees are still black and blue. No, I did not report an incident report because we had crap to do and stuffmart can't do anything at a normal pace. I would still be there if I bothered to report it. But I did noticed when we went grocery shopping that there were 3 brand new floor mats AND 2 caution signs. You just know someone in the security booth rewound that epic face plant several times over. Gah!

My mom came down and stayed with us for a few days. She has been the caulking queen! The place wasn't very clean so while the guys and I were finishing up painting and shampooing the carpets, she was cleaning stuff up. I don't understand why this place was lacking so much caulk when caulk hides a lot of sin. Some of the rooms have painted trim that has no caulking done, and some rooms have wood trim but just really beat up. Mom brought some tung oil and rags then told me to get at it. This stuff is like magic! After she hinted several times over that her old hutch could really use a couple coats of the stuff, I got to it. She was right. I had no idea about this stuff. The guys have been hilarious - they wanted to know how exactly is tung oil harvested? Did they twist a lot of tongues?

But with all the painting and rubbing oil over stuff - I am beat! I'm not even done! She's coming back tomorrow to help me get the dining room and living room caulked and painted. I'm glad she's helping me do all this work, but it's hard to make decorating decisions when you have a heating pad on your shoulder. I did get to laughing when she tried to change Fred's mind on what to do about the kitchen cabinets. I wish I had a bowl of popcorn to watch the back and forth. Except they both tossed pillows at me because it was said I was being a smart@$$ and it wasn't appreciated.

I have no idea what they were talking about........ahem!

I see I'm going to be stripping paint off of cabinets in my future. And there was some serious pressure to pick out paint colors like right now! Again, I'm glad for the help, I just wished she would have held off for another week. Just feel like I'm trying to do everything all at once and then I pass out at night. Last night we finally got our bed all set up. I slept really good once I got my brain to shut off. I'm only catching a shower here and there so I smell like a yeti, my knees are all banged up, I have random splotches of paint on my arms, ankles, and toes. The guys were laughing at me for painting barefoot. I said my feet can wash, my shoes can't. They stopped laughing and took off their shoes.


And how's this for crappy child award? Found out my parents 50th wedding anniversary is Friday and I had no idea. I am a jerk. I threw them a surprise 25th wedding anniversary and it about did me in. Granted, I was 16 but it was all very stressful. So I'm feeling like a real turd blossom that here it is and I got nothing. I asked if she wanted me to organize a family party or something and she said no, she doesn't like parties and doesn't want to really bother. She said she just saw everyone at my grandma's 95th b-day party, and she just saw one of her sisters. And she'll be busting her butt to help me get the place together. Insert all kinds of feelings of guilt. So I told her to have Dad come on down and I'll take everyone to The Cheesecake Factory and then pray Fred's paycheck is a really good one.

It's moments like these that I wonder if Fred looks at me like I'm insane, but then he went and got my Mom a gas card to help cover all her driving and then I feel all ooey gooey. That and totally relieved he wasn't going to go make a sign that says Will Give To A Good Home and park me on the side of the road.

But kudos to Fred for being an awesome trooper through it all! They say Rome wasn't built in a day. I say it's because they didn't have Fred! Any time he has a day off he gets tons of stuff done. Very happy with how things are all coming together and we're all thrilled with the place. It's peaceful. We don't hear doors slamming, people yelling, gun shots, sirens, or some jerk revving his car at midnight. And oh happy day! I don't hear the guys a whole lot when they are playing music and I'm downstairs. I can actually watch TV! All at the same time! The crazy is at a whole new level.

So even though everything was bumpy and crazy, my happy cup is overflowing. Granted, it's splattered in paint right now but the happy is certainly there. Just in time for me to realize that some time next week we need to work on a lesson plan for the upcoming school year. Boo!

Friday, July 24, 2015

Light It On Fire!!

Bust out the marshmallows! Our plans got napalmed! And not in a well we can shift this here and there. Nope. Burnt it all to heck.

Thank the good Lord that He gave me Fred, because that man is really unstoppable. Dude came up with a plan on the fly while I'm just now crawling out of my blanket fort to throw away the half box of tissues I've used from all the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

We were told to get utilities changed in our name for Friday - okay check. We got moving truck all reserved for Saturday and Sunday - check. We had people from out of town all set to come help us move - check. And then last night I got a text message from Fred that we aren't closing until.....wait for it.....Monday.

Allow me to sing you the song of my people WAAAAHHHHH! Son of a nutcracker! AAAHHH! Ah! ah!

Seriously was in the middle of an ugly cry when my phone chimed, I picked it up, wiped my eyes and there was a message from my man saying, "I have a plan. We got this."

And that is just one of the reasons why I truly adore him.

The new plan is we got another storage unit, as we already packed out a small one. We got the moving truck for an extra day. We're going to load up the truck and pack out the storage unit with anything that will fit in my TrailBlazer. Then we're going to load up the truck Sunday with everything else. Fred's parents are the only ones now available so they are coming out Sunday night with a trailer and truck. We're closing Monday afternoon and then it's going to be a mad dash to get everything over to the new place. Then we'll try to get the storage units emptied throughout the week before a new month rolls in. Oh yeah, and get a kid in to take his written test to renew his permit and then schedule a driver's test.

God help me.

I did have a few weak moments of Tourettes and the eye twitch did signal in Morse Code this sucks. I do have to agree with the old broad, but have little choice but to go on. I don't know how long the in-laws are staying, and because this is my life, my folks will be available to help during the week. For those of you tracking - they all don't get along. Would that be th'all? Kind of like y'all only more? I give up.

History has taught me that the sheer amount of stupid garbage that is going on can only mean that we have another huge blessing coming down the pipe. At least we better because my nerves are like 'Seriously? This crap AGAIN?!?' And how sad is this? I have no chocolate in the house. Gasp! This is a crime!

And if I have to eat one more frozen pizza I think I'm going to barf. We're clearing out the big freezer and apparently Jared either doesn't bother to count how much stuff is in there or he is preparing for some type of zombie apocalypse. I really have no idea how or when I dropped the ball with him, but I'm starting to think it might be a genetic mutation because he makes my head hurt. I'm finding myself yelling, "Really?" at him while he just grins at me and slowly slinks away. You know how funny it is to see someone about 6 ft try to slink away? It's flipping hilarious which doesn't help when you're trying to yell at him. At least Fred hasn't mind eating all the bags of pizza rolls.

Right now I'm refusing to come out of my blanket fort. They haven't noticed yet, but I'm sure they will once they've noticed I took the box of poptarts with me. I keep waiting for Fred to pack up my blanket and then shrug all mystified as to where did it go. Not like it would be that hard as my fort is really just me hiding under a blanket. Actually, dude is in the zone and has no time for shenanigans right now. Which is a shame because I think that is something I excel at, while blanket forts - not so much.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Smells Like Freedom

And possibly fish.

It's not helping that we've had a ton of rain lately. Especially since this dump just loves to flood. I had us all prepared and ready to go to battle a round of flood waters but, thankfully, our preparedness kept the flood waters at bay. At least it did till about 3 a.m. when it said nanner, nanner, caught you sleeping.

Oh the joys.

Well last few weeks have been a whirl wind of activity and high drama. I no longer know what day it is. I didn't realize that my waking hours consisted of preparing for work, getting ready for work, heading to work and then actually working, only to come home and curse the work's existence all while I try to cram as much stuff as I could before I started all over again. Vicious cycle. So take all that out and I've been actually getting stuff done. Got a lot of packing done. Totally embarrassed by how dirty everything is so I've been doing a lot of cleaning too.

There are not enough words to express how happy I am that I'm not at that soul sucking job. Retail work is hard work because you have to survive all the demanding people who want everything for nothing.

We are still waiting on a closing date. I wish I were kidding. Especially since we have a moving truck ready for this weekend after Fred did all kinds of switch-o-change-o on the schedule. Plus we have Fred's folks coming to help and my cousin and her husband are coming to help us move too. The stress this has caused has just sucked. We got an email that for sure the 21st was the closing date. Gander a look at your calendar and tell me what the date is. IIII KNOW! It was supposed to happen today but now we're told it's either tomorrow afternoon or Friday morning.

My cuss jar overflows.

Especially since our plan was to get in there and paint the guys' rooms and clean all the carpets upstairs before we moved in. Yeah. About those plans. I'm trying not to imagine those plans going up in flames. I keep telling myself those are not smoke trails I see coming out of those plans.

As if all this wasn't a wonderful ball of gooey. 1 twin passed his driver's test, the other didn't. Do you know how hard it is to celebrate and yet be totally bummed out at the same time? What really sucks is it was parallel parking - that was it! And let me tell you how many hours we had them practice and that was when we had to cram it in when our work schedules actually lined up. What shocked us was this is the kid that has nailed parking every single time. To hear that is what held him back surprised me. What really sucks is it sounds like it was spiritual warfare. He said everything was going fine and then when he couldn't get the car to line up right, he said confusion rolled in, then anxiety kicked in, and zilch. No pass. Which really ticks me off. I can't remember the last time I parallel parked.

Extra bonus points on this sucks - his permit expires next week. We have been trying for the last 2 months to get them in but every BMV has been booked out for weeks. So we have to get him in next week before it expires and he has to take the written test again, and if he passes they will set up a time for him to take the road test again two weeks out.

Oh yes. Because I have nothing better going on right now.

I will at least say I'm thankful that they aren't going to make him wait 180 days, because I think I would be throwing my cuss jar across the room.

The hard part is that he is ready and we have worked with him and prayed over him. So to see him go through this and watch it suck all the confidence right out of him makes me so mad for him and yet there is nothing I can do about it.

My dad asked if we were going to have Jared take the written test to get his permit too. I said there is only so much my poor nerves can handle and that ain't it! Not to mention junior chicken overheard this so he squawked and ran out of the room.

Calgon is a lie because I tried to drown myself and I'm still flipping here!

I think Fred is about ready to hide my blanket as he told me to stop making forts. I've been tackling laundry while going through my clothes. How is it possible to have a ton of clothes and yet still feel like I have nothing to wear?!? I have 2 large garbage bags that are now overflowing to take to Goodwill. There are already 3 bags from old coats, shoes and stuff the guys have all outgrown. I just now need to haul it over there. At least I would if my Blazer wasn't full of painting supplies as I thought that was what I was going to be doing right now.

*mutters* I am not bitter. I am NOT bitter.

I'm going to chalk up my crankiness due to lack of sleep. I was startled awake at 5 a.m. by the mass raid on the area. According to the news, local police and FBI agents were attempting to round up 40 very no good people. I think they really need to up that number because there is an apartment complex not that far away that is almost always bathed in flashing lights and crime tape. Not to mention what all was going on at that house on the other side of us last fall.

Who knew we would be really excited to move? Granted, it's for multiple reasons, but this is the first time all of us are happy to be moving and where we are moving too. That is a miracle right there. At least it will be once we actually close.

I think I'm going to go sit in my fort while I wait on the dryer.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Taking Procrastination To A Whole New Level

Fred keeps kicking me out of my blanket fort and tells me I need to get a grip. Like right now. After a few rounds of angry eyebrows, I forced myself to get all my scrapbook stuff packed up. And let me tell you how low I felt looking at how far behind I am on the guys' books. But then I muttered how my whole "me" time got stolen and I feel like ain't nobody got time for that now. Especially since I feel like 2 out of 3 have hit most of their milestones and I don't even remember the last time I even touched my camera, let alone think about recording this moment in life.

I'm not even sure I want to remember this moment in my life. I mean, I do but at the same time I don't.

How sad is this? I pulled a "guy" moment where I did something and looked all proud of my accomplishment and looked to my better half trying to impress him at my said accomplishment. Thought I was going to get a good job coming from Mr. Robot. Instead I got a snort with a mumbled about time because this was like his 5th trip from cramming stuff into the storage unit he got. I'm going to blame him as he got a smaller unit than last time and is now pulling some super power stackability thing going on. And spell check about blew up at that word. I'll just chalk it up to that dude is a lot harder to impress than what my procrastinating ways can muster.

George decided to grace me with his royal presence. Wished I would have known as I am without chocolate. Scratch that. Last night now makes total sense. I made a pan of white chocolate chip blondies, slapped it up with some ice cream and then hosed it down with this white chocolate sauce I found in the coffee aisle. I'm not sure how to describe it other than I need to lock this stuff up because I sort of envisioned tossing my head back and squirting that bottle for all it's worth! Yum!

But that means my last 2 days of work are going to be uncomfortable. Tomorrow is my last day. I just have to survive tonight. I feel someone was spiteful in the schedule because I close and then turn around and work opening shift. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the whole thing. I'm a big, big fan of money as I can tell you from personal experience that not having enough of it really, really sucks. So not having that extra cushion is causing me to have some anxiety. However, the thought of still working there causing me a whole other round of anxiety and giving up the will to go on. At least this way I won't have to keep a straight face while someone yells at me for their expired coupon.

I've decided that I will cope by staying in my blanket fort and read my stacks, nay - piles of books. Except Fred packed up all the books. I thought maybe I should get back to working on a blanket I'm loom knitting only to discover that it too has been packed up. As the other 2 projects I had going on. And before you ask why do I have multiple projects........OOOO shiny!

Where was I?

We are still waiting on a closing date. The only advantage to all this waiting is that the sellers are going to be out by the time we close, which the last date they wouldn't have been ready. The only downer is it is going to take one big miracle to get it by next weekend. Which is now turning funny because all the people that offered to help are now busy and can't help. So if we do get it - it'll just be the 5 of us moving all our crap. Which this will be our 3rd move doing everything ourselves so honestly, I'm not phased. Or surprised.

I'm laughing at my folks right now. We've all had computer issues lately. We buy refurbished stuff as that is what our budget will allow. I think back in April my Mom's computer died so we got her a refurb tower. Right after we got our new one, my Dad called and said his died and needs one too. While getting him one, we found a laptop for J to use on his schoolwork because his computer was on its last leg. It was so sad to see this big dude hunched over trying to do schoolwork on this small computer monitor. The kicker is we bought 2 things and had them sent to 2 different address. They both arrived here.

But of course they did!

I called my Mom and she had me laughing. I guess they have been "sharing" a computer and it hasn't been going very well. So when I told her it was here rather than being shipped to them, she volunteered my Dad to come down and get it. Well, okay then!

I seriously hope my procrastinating ways would just go away. I don't always have the energy to play rock, paper, scissors with myself to get things done in a timely matter. I get things done, but it's usually with my hair on fire and running around screaming like an angry chicken. While this is amusing to picture, I'm sure the guys will tell you it's no picnic to live with. I keep telling them girls are all crazy, they just have to decide what flavor of psycho they can live with. Their dad usually has that look that says, "she's not kidding" but refuses to say my presence.

George says if you need us we will be in the blanket fort refusing to come out and make dinner at 3 pm so I can eat dinner at 4, get out the door and get to work by 5 battling rush hour traffic. I can do this! Tomorrow! I am free!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Well That Was Exciting

Had our main computer go belly up. Or more like it was in a self-destruct count down that we weren't aware of and every time we turned it on, it thought to itself - soon, and then silently cackled. Naturally, it would have to be to itself, because I would lose it if the computer just started to cackle. I would hose it down with holy water, or maybe just water, and tell the devil to come out of it. Or possibly pull all the wires out of it and chuck it out the front door.

But I digress.

Nicholas turned on the suicide computer and he said it sounded like it was winding up for lift off. I'm no expert, but that can't be a good sign. I guess it went on to make all kinds of groans and noises that I had to ask if smoke was pouring out of it. I was given that look that only I can get. That look that screams "are you for real?!?"

I would like to take this moment to point out I am not a fan of that look. So much so, that I feel it forces me to amp up whatever it is I'm doing just so I can remain queen of the dork. It's moments like this I have the urge to call my parents and apologize for being a teenager and then thank them for surviving as that gives me hope I'll survive.

I decided to take a nap instead because I have a feeling my mother would not be merciful on that conversation.

So we got a new-ish computer tower and it has worked very well. I'll leave off this is the first chance I've had to sit down at it as other people were hogging it and my work schedule is strange. I had no idea what type of a panic I would have as I had to try and remember all my bookmarks. Plus, I had my grocery shopping list template like thing to re-do. And that is a royal pain in the buuutttt it's worth it.

I know. That was lame. I have no excuse. I'm running on very little sleep. I'm not sure what new phase this is but I can barely stay awake till midnight, but I'm awake at 5:30 a.m. For a night owl like me, I feel like my body is pulling some shady betrayals.  I blame it on I had to close the last 3 nights and closing just kicks any and all ambition out of me. I have the next few days off and today my body was like I ain't moving! You'll just have to pee on yourself cuz not.moving!! Which is going to be odd since I need to go grocery shopping.

I'm sure you can just pick up on the glee and excitement from there.

But something that I'm still feeling giddy about is I put in my 2 weeks notice. We have so much stuff going on that I'm not available to do much. Still waiting on a closing date but it may just be a couple weeks away. And just tons of stuff to do. I thought I would be feeling more relief but instead I'm battling feeling overwhelmed. If that wasn't enough I had a few nights last week where I was just gripped with fear and lots of what ifs. Not fun to walk through it, but it has certainly been an opportunity to invite Jesus into the middle of it so I can get healed and move along.

I was actually surprised to hear how upset all my co-workers were when they heard the news I was quitting. I mean, like come up and hug me and tell me that my smile made their day and they didn't know how they would go on without me to make them laugh. That took me by surprise. There are many times that it feels like the stuff I do day in and day out doesn't mean a hill of beans to anyone. So to get this huge out-pour from people who don't really know me that well knocked me for a loop. I know I've made them laugh - some of the stuff I've pulled and said over the headsets have left them all in stitches. Some of the cutting counter ladies will come up to me and said I made them laugh so bad one night that people thought they were all crazy. I can't help it. Humor is the only way I know how to cope. I'm going to miss my co-workers, but I am so not going to miss that job!

I do find it interesting that everyone wants to know what job I'm going to do next. I was briefly thinking about transferring to the other store, but I heard the manager is kind of a jerk. The only reason I was considering it was from all the fear that decided to hop up and down on my head. All I'm getting from God lately is "make yourself available" and "get ready" with no other details. I can't say as that makes me warm and fuzzy with this peaceful blanket enveloping me. More like this wonder of is that a good thing or a bad thing? How do you get ready for something you don't know? I had this weird dream like I was playing Wheel of Fortune and I kept asking for some vowels because there wasn't much of a sentence going on. Then I had a dream that I was a rabbit that was going all Sherlock looking for clues.

I have this horrible feeling it's all a strange cry for help but I can't seem to piece it all together. Not really. I just think dang I have issues and roll over and go back to sleep. Who has dreams like these??? Anyone? Yeah. Didn't think so. Gah!

And I've held Fred back for as long as I can on his crazy packing ways. We both have tomorrow off and I know what this means. I will have to stop him from trying to pack up the kitchen. I'm not complaining too hard. Dude has a gift. He won't let anyone help him pack but there is a reason. I can ask him where something was from 3 houses ago if we still have it and where is it. It takes him about a minute to remember where it ended up, and then goes and brings it back! It is truly something to behold. Yet he can't remember the 3 things I send him to the store for. Never fails. 2 or 3 things, he will forget something. Makes my head hurt. But we've always joked it takes both of us to make 1 normal person. Except you could probably question how normal that person is but that's a whole different story.

Hopefully we won't have another drama filled move this time. That last one - oh my word! I've been telling Fred he better stay healthy and he, of course, caught a bit of a head cold and we've all been avoiding him and making him take Vitamin C. Don't want to get hit with the plague again especially right when we need to move. And here's something weird. I've had lots of people offer to help us move. Come again??? I'm not really sure how to respond to that. Part of me is so use to people not being there that I'm like yeah, okay we'll see if you actually show up. And then the other part of me feels all panicky because I'm like how are we supposed to feed people?!?

Drama. I don't save it for my mama. I tend to let it kick me in the can and then back up over my head so I can feel all overwhelmed and refuse to come out of my blanket fort.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


Because that is the sound you make when you are on a roller-coaster ride. Either that or AAAAHHH!! but I've already used that for a blog post title. I'm not really sure I've caught up with everything that has gone down this last month. And believe me, there was a lot of stuff and a lot of angst shoved in there for good measure. As only I can do with life, I guess.

Seriously hope you have a snack to carry you through, because this is going to be long. Matter of fact, close your eyes for just a few seconds to try and rest them up for this. Ya good? Good.

Right after J's b-day, serious teenage angst went down. For days. I'm standing there listening to the rants telling myself that jail isn't worth it and stripes really aren't my thing, so I needed to hear them out. Suddenly everything I say is crippling and damaging. I already know I've struggled with my tone of voice - I've joked I come from a long line of screamers. And I have been guilty of having a pretty hard bark. But when I come home from work and their chores aren't done and all they've done is goof off? Well, honey, buckle up for that chewing cuz y'all earned it! In their defense, that has only happened twice.

But the problem I'm having is they are constantly assuming they know what I'm thinking. I told their dad he has not taught them well if they think they can know what a woman is thinking. Talk about pressure! Now I have to stop and second guess myself over everything I'm saying. Then I get irritated and just end up saying nope, and let er rip! I had one say to me, you said this and I'm like, no I didn't. I said this. Well that means you think this. Noooo it doesn't! I never said that, thought that, or implied that!
Fred had to stepped in and said you guys are falling into a trap most men make. The main woman in your life is not your be all, end all. You guys can't look to your mom to validate you. That's not her responsibility or any woman for that matter, you have to get that from God. He then proceeded to pull out every John Eldridge book we own and told them to have it. I think M is more than half way through everything. A miracle has happened as N has picked up a book as well - voluntarily. And it's also a miracle Fred stepped in and calmed everyone down. Wait, that's not really a miracle because he just does that without really trying. It was just a miracle he was around when a major angst rant went down. But they've seemed to all chill so yay for John's books coming through again! (His book Killing Lions is really, really good for guys just leaving high school and collage age.)

We heard from our car insurance company. The guy is STILL in the hospital. He's having a lot of respiratory issues. About the time he gets out of ICU and into a room, he gets an infection and back down he goes. But they did get a lawyer and filed a claim. Thankfully our insurance company has decided to pay it to protect us. I have mixed emotions about it but want to just put it behind us and move forward. The lady did try to make us feel better as she said the guy isn't an upstanding citizen and has a very long history of criminal activities so we shouldn't feel bad. What can you say to that? And dude is white, so nobody better start any race junk.

Another round of angst was getting the mortgage company to commit. They finally said yes the day before we were to sign another year lease with the worthless rental company. A house popped up a few days before this that we were REALLY wanting, but it was sold the day before we were able to go house hunting. Talk about disappointing! We did find a house. Kitchen needs an update but other than that we are thrilled with it and we'll be moving in July. Tons of stuff has been going on regarding all that.

What has cracked me up is the guys picking out paint color for their rooms. Typical Fred - came home with like 10 books of paint samples. You should have seen the struggle and careful consideration that was going on. Who knew watching all this back and forth was going to be so entertaining? Except for J who took a whopping 1 minute to pick out a color verses M took days. N picked out the same color combo we had in our den at our old house. He changed his mind when I pointed that out because the green was more green than olive as the paint sample shows. But we're laughing because they all picked out different colors but all in the grey tone. They are their father's sons.

However, it's looking like we aren't going to have a whole lot of time to get in and get a lot of painting done before we move in. My mom, who is addicted to pain fumes, is all giddy with coming in and helping. J's room is going to need primer first as obnoxious green needs to go bye-bye real fast. Seems to be the in color. Every house we saw had green. Some a nice green and some not so nice. Like this bright celery green color.

Now the kickster. This house is like less than 5 minutes from a different Joann's store. Not the one I work at. I want to quit. I felt like God was telling me I needed to make myself available especially for the guys as 1 car 2 people thing is going to get challenging here real quick. Me working has helped out a lot. I like most of my coworkers a lot, but the customers about drive me batty. I've been told I can transfer to the closer store, otherwise if I quit and need to get a job again, I'm looking at another 3 months before I get hired. If I do put in for a transfer, I feel the honorable thing to do is go through with it. I don't want to get to new store and say just kidding! I was talking with all the guys and I said I know I'm scared. I'm scared of moving to something new and have more crap show up and not have a way to pay for it.

I've been wrestling with this for months. When overtime is available - Fred is all over it and we're doing good. But we all know overtime isn't always available. So that makes me nervous. And just like satan - I get a text from someone and she goes for it. Can you afford not to work? I can't really repeat what I wanted to say. I should have responded with thanks satan for asking! But I have a feeling it would have flown over her head. And probably caused some angst.

We were all praying last night and N called me out on being afraid. He was right. He had a word for me and it rang true. Gosh, whoever raised these guys really did do a few thing right! Now I just have to tell the main boss lady I'm quitting soon. If I told her I was quitting now, I'm pretty sure she would kill me on the spot as we have inventory next week. I'm going to finish out the month. Which is a good thing because I came home from work and Fred has an abscessed tooth and will finally be going to a dentist. He's only had a couple busted teeth for like 10 years and is horribly addicted to gummy bears. I can't even say I told you so because I've been an enabler.

And top it off, the worthless rental company is slapping us with a $700 bill to pay for the busted windows they never replaced from the neighborhood jerks. They are giving us till the end of the week to pay it and they won't take our phone calls. To say I'm livid is an understatement. Their lease is worded to screw over the tenant at every possible angle. Last week the whole basement flooded. Nailed our bedroom again. And why does it flood? Because they refuse to replace the back basement door and won't put in new drain pipes like it has been recommended several times over. So the water builds up at the back door and when the drain backs up out front, it pours through. I came home from work, got dinner done, we all ate, and here came the flood gates. Fred was at work so the guys had to help haul the shop vac up the stairs and dump it.

I feel like all I'm seeing is dollar signs for everything. I'm trying not to bust out the ramen noodles and tell everyone to eat PB sandwiches. Because these years have been hard. Devastatingly hard. The ride has been bumpy. Matter of fact, I'm pretty sure we've gone off the rails a few times to boot. And all you can do is hang on and hope you don't crash and burn. The weird thing is I've learned you can rise again even after the crashing and the burning. Although I'm not sure what it says about me that now I make sure to always have a bag of marshmallows ready to roast in case of anymore burning.
Does this mean I'm carpe diem-ing? Or I'm more messed up than what I think?

Friday, May 8, 2015

Limbo, Limbo, Limbo!!

Sounds like some sort of a dance. When did my life decide to take dancing lessons?!? And did it forget it has 2 left feet?

Not much news in a bunch of areas, so random smoosh because this is the only shot I have at making a blog post.

Found out the guy that Fred hit is still in the hospital with respiratory failure and has been on a vent. Yikes! We've been praying for his full recovery. And also that God would heal his brain for thinking he can walk in the road wearing dark clothes at 6 in the morning. Not that I'm bitter about it. I think it's more floored that someone would be that stupid.

The whole thing made it in the news. Pictures of Fred's car with the busted windshield on all the local channels was a bit surprising. I think what surprised us the most is how it was repeatedly reported that the driver stayed on the seen and was cooperating with police. Really? I guess it is very common and the cops were truly surprised he stayed and called the cops himself. He followed all the instructions of the operator and was about ready to preform CPR when the cops showed up and took over. I still feel really bad for the guy's family - someone has been in his room with him no matter what time of day it has been. I hope if they are in a suing mood they'll sue the city for not having sidewalks in that area and leave Fred out of it.

As if all that wasn't fun to deal with we've been having the water heater going out. Took the rental company a couple weeks to replace it. It was a toss up of did we have hot water or just kidding! Fred had a few days where he didn't have a shower because the scene from Groundhog Day where the guy leaps out of the shower came to mind.

Good times.

Said no one.


I was at work last week and I was standing over an open drawer of patterns when I bumped my hand and the diamond in my wedding ring flew out. I looked down at the drawer and promptly muttered sh!t! We were about ready to leave for the night, the patterns were the last thing we were working on and now this. Thankfully I found the diamond, not in the drawer after we took the whole thing apart, but it had flew behind the stack of patterns I was putting away.

Then I had to suffer through a week without my rings because none of my rings will fit that finger. I felt so exposed and nekkid! I even had someone ask me if I was going through a divorce after noticing my lack of rings. I told my sad tale of woe to the nosy creeper. I'm always surprised and what people notice and have the gull to comment about. I then took slight pleasure informing her that her stack of coupons had all expired. Another moment where my issues decided to show up and top someone else's crazy.

It's not a competition, Joanna! Although in my defense if you had any idea how many times a shift I get comments about my name you would understand why I bring the crazy. There is only so many times before I go all extra snarky and bring it. Because this is what I hear and I have replied with this depending on the mood and the person because there are just people who can't take a joke.
"Hey do you own the store?" Why yes, yes I do. I'm just really into customer service.
"Are you the actual Jo-Ann?" No. I have an A on the end so clearly I can't be her even though she technically doesn't exist as the name was a combination of 2 daughters.
"Are you undercover boss?" Yes, and the A on the end is part of my secret identity.
"Since it's your store can you give us an extra discount?" Ah-ha- no.
"Do they give you an extra discount for your name?" No, but I have asked. Repeatedly.
"You should just have an arrow on your name tag pointing to the logo on the apron." No, because that will only confuse the mentally challenged people who would then ask me why is my name arrow, or if that was a symbol for peace in another language.

I wish I was kidding.

And before you say no one can be that ditzy than come on down to the city! Because we have every type of nut job you can imagine and a handful that you can't! Like the lady that cussed her phone Klingon. Or the couple that were dressed like ghost-busters. I can make a list. But I don't have time. That's how long the list would be.

But Fred found a jewelry designer who not only fixed it, but made it better. Even resized the anniversary band and just made it look better than it ever did AND he didn't rake us over the coals. Whole thing cost us under a 100 bucks! Super happy! Turned a crappy situation into a wonderful blessing.

And speaking of blessing - we celebrated Jared who is now 16! Dude is still hilarious. He certainly can make any situation better to go through just through his shenanigans. He continues to be joy to be around even when he's being a bit a twerp. He's now 2 inches taller than Fred but those 2 will wrestle to the point where I'm concern for the furniture. My folks came down to wish him a happy b-day and the in-laws will be rolling in sometime tonight for a weekend visit.

Hoping for a good weekend and some nice weather, all while I try not to think about all the other junk floating out there. Because LIMBO!! Now I must do a conga line singing limbo, limbo, lim-bo!
OR I'll just lay down and take a nap. That sounds better.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Well Dunk My Butt In A Bucket Of Vinegar And Call Me A Pickle

Because we are in a pickle....again.

Why can't I seem to get it through my head that I'm not a normal person and therefore don't get to experience normal things in a normal way??? Normal people apply for a mortgage and provide their paperwork and done. For us? Not even close!

If you've been through a foreclosure, most lenders will turn you down flat. Doesn't matter that it was later determined that you were wrongfully foreclosed on because that doesn't show up on your credit report. You only get to apply for "special programs" for losers people like you.  It turns out that you can't even think of getting a mortgage until it has been 3 years after your house was yanked out from under you the sheriff's sale. We sat for 2 years in foreclosure status before that even happened. And heaven help you if your loan officer turns out to be a douche bag turd blossom like ours has been who has dragged his feet every.step.of.the.way. and doesn't bother to let you know little things like what paperwork is needed or if you're approved or not. Fred has had to email this guy constantly to get updates.

Our sad tale of woe had to go before an underwriter and special committee which we were supposed to know the outcome of all that weeks ago. We found out that the first committee turned us down because said turd blossom didn't bother to tell them the dates and all that jazz, so they thought we were a couple months shy of the okay we'll look in your general direction period. Had to get a copy from from old city to prove it has been more than 3 years and we are in the clear. We think he was going to let us get turned down without much of an explanation. Since Fred was on top of it, they are re-reconsidering. That was 2 weeks ago and we've heard nothing. Time marches on and we have to renew our lease with the worthless rental company by the end of this month. It's not looking good.

That banging noise you hear is me slamming my head into a wall to just end it all. Especially since all the houses we were looking at have all sold while they make up their minds. Which is confusing because we thought we already had approval for the loan or we never would have gone house hunting to begin with so there's that pickle. Since the guy tends to avoid us when there is bad news, we've come to the conclusion it's not going to happen. I think they are hoping we'll just slink away back to our sad little hole because how can he justify stringing someone along like that? We've already come up with Plan Q, which may stand for quit making plans because they don't work out.

Another pickle is last week - I can't even remember what day it happened - Thursday, I think? Fred was on his way to work about 6 a.m. It was dark, raining, no street lights, busy street. He got over into the lane for the highway ramp and there was a man walking in the street and Fred hit him. Fred is fine, the guy is still in ICU. The cops have said it wasn't Fred's fault, but we're still upset over the whole thing. The guy was wearing dark clothes, no flashlight to warn people he was there. That guy was going to get hit. It's too bad it was Fred. Car insurance won't pay for squat because we have everything but collision. But they have informed us that if we get sued by the guy they will handle all of it. Come again?

It was that last part that sort of made me snap. I asked if we could sue the guy for damaging our car and for being an idiot for walking in the road, in dark clothes while it was dark out. I've been told that's kind of cold so it sounds like that's a no. The car is fine, just needs a new windshield and we'll have to live with the dent in the hood for now. The frustrating part is we just got the guys' car back from the shop and now Fred is driving it until we can get the new windshield. Part of me is like yay we were prepared for once, while the other part is you got to be #@$! kidding me!!!! I don't blame him for not wanting to drive his car until it's fixed. I'm praying he doesn't relive the whole thing over and over. He's picked up a lot of overtime, I'm hoping that keeps him busy so he's not constantly thinking about it. He had to find another way to go to work because idiots down here walk in busy streets and act like they own the road.

All of this is right after me coming back from the homeschool convention. It was wonderful! We had tons of laughs, lots of encouragement, and I felt some serious nudges. But I'm really confused by those nudges. Mom is the heart of the home - she knows the pulse and what all is going on, but that only happens if she's actually home. (And not distracted but that's a whole different blog post.) I already know this and I haven't been happy at all about our current situation. I sort of got crappy with God saying hey, you want me home - make it happen. And then I came home to all this other mess going on and that just makes my head hurt even more.

Then my mother calls and goes off on me about the guys. I know our situation isn't normal, nor ideal, but it is what it is. And something new I'm facing, all those congratulations for homeschooling have now turned into digs about what are the guys doing NOW?! I'm still a firm believer to ask 19 year olds to figure out the rest of their lives has to be some form of insanity. They better know before they strap on all that debt of a student loan, because I know a lot of people that are having to work 2 jobs just to barely survive and for what? Most of them did not pursue or couldn't get a job in the field of their degree. So to just go to college because it's the normal thing to do? Well....that leaves me questioning normal. Seeking wisdom and putting together a plan doesn't seem to fit well with most people's normal.

Then again, all our plans have gone up in smoke, so apparently my 2 cents worth doesn't mean much.

There have been pluses and once a few more things line up, things are going to shift here. Although, it turns out the twins are better teachers than I am because Jared is already done with his schoolwork and is on summer break thanks to all their help. And Nicholas has everything graded! I should have put him in charge years ago! They've all stepped up and had to do stuff to help out that they normally wouldn't have had to do. So yay for learning lessons! But things need to shift and my problem is I wanted it to shift months ago. The guys were teasing me that I'm just presented with another opportunity to strengthen my patience muscle. Which I said they are still alive so my muscles are fully developed. That and I said bite me, can't wait to see you in the real world and how you get to put this into practice yourself.

We've known for many years I'm not the mature one of the group, but I still have Jared a little bit.

And in the midst of all this, God has put a few people on my heart to really pray for and to encourage them. Not exactly sure how well that is going to be received. I was in a session with Heidi St John and oh my gosh she is hilarious. She has a way of smacking you upside the head but not in a mean way. It was just truth and in a funny way, but when you really thought about what she said you realized you just got smacked. Things like not being distracted and really being there. Because we've all been there but not there, if you know what I mean. I'm taking notes like crazy and the whole time I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying so and so would really be encouraged by this. I'm all like, well they aren't here so sucks to be them, and kept going. Until it came time to buy some of those sessions on CDs. I felt that weight press on me and it was like I just lost 10 rounds of rock, paper, scissors and we hadn't even started yet. Nice to see I've matured somewhat and bought the CDs. We'll leave off that they are still sitting in the backpack and I haven't unpacked it yet. I got through step one with little resistance, so that has to count for something, right? Right?

I see a few things down the road that I need to make myself be available for, and I'm not sure how to make that happen. Sitting back and waiting on God to make it happen has not worked at all. Matter of fact, things got a lot worse until I said, 'fine, screw you I'll do it myself.' Not saying that is the best attitude to have, but there have been a lot of learning lessons along the way that makes me wonder if that was His intention all along and I was just a bit slow to pick up on it. For starters, God has been all over me about being bitter. My first response was me? Bitter? Ya think? I've been informed that was proving the point and the fact that I've so willingly embraced it is a problem. The sad thing is I actually wanted to justify why I was bitter and list all the reasons 

Not fun to pickle myself with all the emotional stews we have going on. I hope someday all of this will make sense. I mean, I can't be the only cucumber out there that is surprised to find it has turned into a pickle. And the irony is I don't like pickles.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The Hunt

House Hunting! A fun little game that will cause you to feel happiness, dread, anxiety, the need for chocolate, therapy, and the realization that you might need marital counseling. To say the last few weeks have been a whirlwind would be an understatement. Cuh-razy! It seems that everyone and their brother is out house hunting right now.

We had a lovely list only to have half the list disappear as there were already offers on the table. One of the first houses we looked at had an offer right after we viewed it. It was too small for us, but it was a bit weird to see things go that fast. That's sort of been depressing. We've been searching the web, have things marked, send it to our realtor only to get an email back that it sold already.

Well, okay then.

We had two contenders which we could make work. Nothing has screamed this is the one! At least not in our price range. Both are split levels. I don't like split levels. I'm living in a split level currently because I am allergic to being homeless. While I know I can make it work - I'm still not thrilled. But if I were to take a moment and be honest, I don't think I would be thrilled with anything short of an HGTV miracle. I think my issues are showing again. That and I'm spending too much time on Pinterest drooling over huge kitchens that would make Martha Stewart say, "Now that's a nice a kitchen!" And my budget won't met Martha half way.

It's moments like this I'm glad we got rid of cable. No remodel shows for me! Because one of the houses we had marked on our list to look at was in desperate need of an update. It also smelled like Granny had recently passed away, but I'm trying not to be creeped out by it. I've been told paint and new carpet will get rid of the smell and to stop being a baby about it.


It has a lot of potential, but all I saw was a ton of work. We were later talking about it and I surprised myself when I blurted out I'm just not mentally up for a massive home overhaul. I feel like I'm stretched thin. I'm stressed out about work because they don't have enough people to handle the store, so we are running on skeleton crews. The store is a mess, customers are mad, and the workers are all frazzled. The thought of tackling anything right now makes me want to crawl into bed and not come out for at least a year.

The only bright spot in all of this is the two houses are on the other side of Indy hopefully away from all the ghetto and potholes that lead to China with a slight delay in hell. At least that was the case until yesterday morning three more homes popped up that have higher points than the other two we were considering.

Clearly the need for chocolate is screaming right now, but I'm back to being happy that there are some more options.

The marital issues have been interesting because we had a couple houses that we walked through only to have one say, "I love it!" while the other one is saying, "I hate it!" and the equal looks of horror have been comical. One house that Hubby was insisting we look at is only something he could pull. Think old, lonely, once upon a time grand dame with her paint chipping here and there with no means for a new do. You should have seen his instant look of love while my look screamed, "Run Forrest, Run!" I'll give the guy credit - tons of potential, but I'm fast to remember yesteryear of living through something you're trying to fix up with limited funds. N-O! Not only no, but hell no! I'm not sure he's forgiven me yet. The property taxes on this thing is just nuts, not to mention I got the vibe that there is potential of monumental expenses creeping under some of that peeling paint.

Jared had been totally against this house as it screams Allegan house all over again - only no where near as dumpy. Michael sided with his dad as they drooled over all the details of the house and Nicholas remained neutral, for once, and took the stance that ANYTHING is better than what we've lived in. Imagine the struggle J and I both had when we had to keep our facial muscles normal when we heard it's now pending thus taken off the market.

Oh darn.

So this leaves 2 split-levels. One built in the 60s and one built in the 80s. The 60s home is bigger but needs a new kitchen. The 2 full bathrooms are small. If we could do a new kitchen - it would be nice, but those bathrooms have been updated and will always be small. It has a lot of character - not a cookie cutter house. The neighborhood is non ghetto. The 80s house isn't too far from this one but it's smaller. But the kitchen is totally new. Small but all new appliances because down here people don't take their appliances I guess. 3 full bathrooms that are big, but the entrance way is horrible, Jared's room would be just a fuzz smaller than what he has now, and there is less square footage.

The hard thing is we have a really nice frig that has been sitting out in the garage that we can't wait to use again. I have an island that I'm sure my mom would pummel me if I got rid of and we could use these at the 60s house. It sort of bothers me to not use what I got. Not to mention the 80s house comes with new washer and dryer. My dryer is only 2 years old with my washer pushing 6 years. I think. I can't remember. So this leaves me circling around the whole bathroom thing. 3 big ones or 2 tiny ones? Ugh. Makes my head hurt.

And houses are going so fast, I'm sort of concern about waiting. But the bank is making us wait because it's just another day at the office for them while it's a complete nail biter for us. However, with these other homes just popping up, it seems it was a God timing thing that we are waiting. It's just brutal to watch stuff get snatched off the market before you can do anything about it. It's been bumpy, left us a bit grumpy especially since the furnace went out at this place and the rental company left us all weekend without heat. Yup. So ready to move.

As an extra bonus to all this stress, couple weeks ago we were out driving and I've found if I tell the guys NOT to hit a pothole, they will proceed to hit every flipping hole from here to the store and back. There was a known bad one and I said repeatedly don't hit it! Which he didn't but did hit the worse one hidden under a huge mud puddle. It was only a miracle that kept the tire from being ripped off - those new tires we just put on the car back before the snow flew. No, I'm not ticked off.....anymore. And I didn't rip the kid a new one but they should never be allowed to read the text messages I sent their dad after the whole ordeal. But now the service engine light is now on so yippy skippy on that. We've been too busy to get it into the shop and I'm trying not to sweat bullets about what it's going to cost.

My nerves - they aren't happy. Maybe it's a good thing I did get my tickets to go to the home school convention. I don't NEED to go, but I NEED the girl time away from life. That and I was informed they would show up and drag me along anyways, so I might as well make it easier on everyone and go willingly.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

George Period

I think I may change the name of aunt flo to George. This guy doesn't play around, and quite frankly, is an absolute beast of a bully. I was trying to come up with what all George could stand for like:
G- ginormous mess
E- exceedingly painful
O- outrageously annoying
R- rage induced emotions
G- greedy consumer of chocolate
E- epic torture that no mere mortal should have to endure

I was in mid-rant about George Period when Fred made the mistake of staying there is no P in George but that's when I told him that is George's last name - Period. Nuff said. End of discussion. Went so far as to try and be addressed as Mr. Period.

The other day I had spewed forth my weirdness on Facebook about not shaving my legs in a sad attempt at another layer of warmth, but remembered from past experience that I just get all itchy and then want to practice yeti calls. Since I have to close the store the next couple nights, I decided to de-yeti so I can't be forced to try the dare of practicing this over the intercom in a sad attempt to get rid of customers early.

The struggle is real, people.

So while I was in mid-shave it sort of dawned on me that it was a wee bit disturbing that I just named a female organ and man's name. And right there I had a cramp that was so intense that it about dropped me to my knees. I think I just angered George, because if felt like he just said, "bow to me and beg for mercy, you little human!!"

Sort of a blur now, so I'm not sure exactly how it went. But meds and chocolate were administered immediately and now I will go out into the public and face the coupon crazed masses who will try to argue with me.

Maybe we should pity them, because George has declared he will take no prisoners.