Thursday, February 12, 2015

Time To Pay The Piper

I think it is the little things in life that do make or break things. It's been a weird few weeks and trying to keep up with stuff just doesn't seem to be happening. I'm trying to focus on those nice blissful moments of peace and/or ignorance. Moments like my mom somehow managed to get my email address wrong and for the last few months I haven't had her normal flood of emails.

I, naturally, said nothing about this. That is until she called all huffy demanding to know why I haven't responded to her last 3 emails. Um, what? So after a while she finally figured it out. Pity. And she made up for lost time by sending me around 50 emails. That was yesterday. I thought my phone was going to explode from all the notices. Oddly enough, I haven't heard from my MIL either. Wonder if she got the email wrong too?

I've had 3 days off from work which I really needed as I've been having tension headaches for the last 2 weeks strait. Nothing has worked at getting rid of it. If I were to use any more peppermint oil, I would give a candy cane a run for its money. Too bad work has called every.single.day asking me to come in and work. Um, no. No, thank you. I think I've about recovered from being the only closing cashier Monday night. It takes at the very least 2 people to get the bare minimum done.

I am counting down the days until I don't need to do this anymore. That is a long story all by itself. I don't have an end date yet as we are still working some stuff out, but it is getting closer. Hallelujah and Amen! Long story super short, that whole settlement money came with some hidden strings. Hidden strings like a whooping tax bill that we are busting our butts off to pay off. This was after we were told there wasn't going to be taxes on it. What a shock that the IRS lied to us. Okay, in their defense they were as clueless as we were about the whole ordeal, but can't say as I appreciate their bogus fees and interest rates. I'll leave it with the mob would be totally impressed with how this shake down went. We did our taxes earlier this week and I told Hubby having another kid would have come in handy right about now. We laughed. And then laughed some more. Then he said to stop making jokes like that because it scares him. Big baby.

But progress is being made, and we may be house hunting before too long as well. I find it both exciting and highly annoying to be in the weird limbo of just wait and see. Gathering info and making plans of attack when I would rather just sit in the corner and work at being a marshmallow. Seems reasonable. It's either that or I tackle Jared and force him to start shaving. Trouble with that plan is he is solid as a wall. Since I'm stuffed with too much fluff, I'm pretty sure all I would do is bounce off of him.

I think teenagers need to come with a disclaimer. Something along the lines of: will cause premature aging but it will be an adventure either way you slice it.

I've had to have bewb talk with him on more than one occasion as we were in line at the grocery store and a magazine cover caught his attention....for a really long time. I'm going to go out on a limb and say he should never, ever play poker as he has no poker face. I hate this stage because what can you say? Dude, stop drooling before you slip and fall? Yes, my son - those are bewbs and they are very powerful. You must stay away for as long as you can because they are kryptonite to mere mortals, and if I see you gawking like this again, I'm going to smack you upside the head with my purse.

On top of that, Sargent Fuzzy underestimates the power of his smelly pits. I've had a commandment that they can not hang out in the same jammies longer than 2 days or the wrath of mom will come down on them. They all ignore this from time to time, and even after suffering through many a wrath - I'm worn out, and they still stink. And let me point out that teenage boy stink is nothing compared to manly men stink! That stink could kill a tiger and I'm partially convinced this is why there are no tigers in the area. The older 2 are better at cleaning up. It might have something to do with me rubbing their cheek and then pretending it just cut my hand off. Jared is at this stage where he just has peach fuzz on the lip but 4 really, really long hairs on his cheeks. And it grosses me out for some reason. I'm still trying to recover from when I made a big fuss about it, so he grabbed a few strands, held it just so and chopped it off with my good scissors. He did the same thing for the other side and asked if I was happy. His brothers were on the ground laughing hysterically while all I could do was sputter.

Tell me again why I let them live?

Here's an added bonus. Leg hairs look like um, a certain area type hair.....so it seems like my floors are all covered in ah, that certain area type of hair. Hey, I'm trying to keep the spammers at bay here, okay? But I can not underestimate how grossed out I can get. Needless to say, I've been having another round of questioning God and His reasons for giving me 3 boys.

Gal came through the line Monday and had the cutest baby and babies really are a nice way to start people. Because the next person in line had the biggest brat I had ever seen and the mom had no control over this kid. It was really awkward. After she left all I could say was "And this is why some animals will eat their young." Everyone cracked up laughing for some reason.

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