Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The Hunt

House Hunting! A fun little game that will cause you to feel happiness, dread, anxiety, the need for chocolate, therapy, and the realization that you might need marital counseling. To say the last few weeks have been a whirlwind would be an understatement. Cuh-razy! It seems that everyone and their brother is out house hunting right now.

We had a lovely list only to have half the list disappear as there were already offers on the table. One of the first houses we looked at had an offer right after we viewed it. It was too small for us, but it was a bit weird to see things go that fast. That's sort of been depressing. We've been searching the web, have things marked, send it to our realtor only to get an email back that it sold already.

Well, okay then.

We had two contenders which we could make work. Nothing has screamed this is the one! At least not in our price range. Both are split levels. I don't like split levels. I'm living in a split level currently because I am allergic to being homeless. While I know I can make it work - I'm still not thrilled. But if I were to take a moment and be honest, I don't think I would be thrilled with anything short of an HGTV miracle. I think my issues are showing again. That and I'm spending too much time on Pinterest drooling over huge kitchens that would make Martha Stewart say, "Now that's a nice a kitchen!" And my budget won't met Martha half way.

It's moments like this I'm glad we got rid of cable. No remodel shows for me! Because one of the houses we had marked on our list to look at was in desperate need of an update. It also smelled like Granny had recently passed away, but I'm trying not to be creeped out by it. I've been told paint and new carpet will get rid of the smell and to stop being a baby about it.

Ahem!

It has a lot of potential, but all I saw was a ton of work. We were later talking about it and I surprised myself when I blurted out I'm just not mentally up for a massive home overhaul. I feel like I'm stretched thin. I'm stressed out about work because they don't have enough people to handle the store, so we are running on skeleton crews. The store is a mess, customers are mad, and the workers are all frazzled. The thought of tackling anything right now makes me want to crawl into bed and not come out for at least a year.

The only bright spot in all of this is the two houses are on the other side of Indy hopefully away from all the ghetto and potholes that lead to China with a slight delay in hell. At least that was the case until yesterday morning three more homes popped up that have higher points than the other two we were considering.

Clearly the need for chocolate is screaming right now, but I'm back to being happy that there are some more options.

The marital issues have been interesting because we had a couple houses that we walked through only to have one say, "I love it!" while the other one is saying, "I hate it!" and the equal looks of horror have been comical. One house that Hubby was insisting we look at is only something he could pull. Think old, lonely, once upon a time grand dame with her paint chipping here and there with no means for a new do. You should have seen his instant look of love while my look screamed, "Run Forrest, Run!" I'll give the guy credit - tons of potential, but I'm fast to remember yesteryear of living through something you're trying to fix up with limited funds. N-O! Not only no, but hell no! I'm not sure he's forgiven me yet. The property taxes on this thing is just nuts, not to mention I got the vibe that there is potential of monumental expenses creeping under some of that peeling paint.

Jared had been totally against this house as it screams Allegan house all over again - only no where near as dumpy. Michael sided with his dad as they drooled over all the details of the house and Nicholas remained neutral, for once, and took the stance that ANYTHING is better than what we've lived in. Imagine the struggle J and I both had when we had to keep our facial muscles normal when we heard it's now pending thus taken off the market.

Oh darn.


So this leaves 2 split-levels. One built in the 60s and one built in the 80s. The 60s home is bigger but needs a new kitchen. The 2 full bathrooms are small. If we could do a new kitchen - it would be nice, but those bathrooms have been updated and will always be small. It has a lot of character - not a cookie cutter house. The neighborhood is non ghetto. The 80s house isn't too far from this one but it's smaller. But the kitchen is totally new. Small but all new appliances because down here people don't take their appliances I guess. 3 full bathrooms that are big, but the entrance way is horrible, Jared's room would be just a fuzz smaller than what he has now, and there is less square footage.

The hard thing is we have a really nice frig that has been sitting out in the garage that we can't wait to use again. I have an island that I'm sure my mom would pummel me if I got rid of and we could use these at the 60s house. It sort of bothers me to not use what I got. Not to mention the 80s house comes with new washer and dryer. My dryer is only 2 years old with my washer pushing 6 years. I think. I can't remember. So this leaves me circling around the whole bathroom thing. 3 big ones or 2 tiny ones? Ugh. Makes my head hurt.

And houses are going so fast, I'm sort of concern about waiting. But the bank is making us wait because it's just another day at the office for them while it's a complete nail biter for us. However, with these other homes just popping up, it seems it was a God timing thing that we are waiting. It's just brutal to watch stuff get snatched off the market before you can do anything about it. It's been bumpy, left us a bit grumpy especially since the furnace went out at this place and the rental company left us all weekend without heat. Yup. So ready to move.

As an extra bonus to all this stress, couple weeks ago we were out driving and I've found if I tell the guys NOT to hit a pothole, they will proceed to hit every flipping hole from here to the store and back. There was a known bad one and I said repeatedly don't hit it! Which he didn't but did hit the worse one hidden under a huge mud puddle. It was only a miracle that kept the tire from being ripped off - those new tires we just put on the car back before the snow flew. No, I'm not ticked off.....anymore. And I didn't rip the kid a new one but they should never be allowed to read the text messages I sent their dad after the whole ordeal. But now the service engine light is now on so yippy skippy on that. We've been too busy to get it into the shop and I'm trying not to sweat bullets about what it's going to cost.

My nerves - they aren't happy. Maybe it's a good thing I did get my tickets to go to the home school convention. I don't NEED to go, but I NEED the girl time away from life. That and I was informed they would show up and drag me along anyways, so I might as well make it easier on everyone and go willingly.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

George Period

I think I may change the name of aunt flo to George. This guy doesn't play around, and quite frankly, is an absolute beast of a bully. I was trying to come up with what all George could stand for like:
G- ginormous mess
E- exceedingly painful
O- outrageously annoying
R- rage induced emotions
G- greedy consumer of chocolate
E- epic torture that no mere mortal should have to endure

I was in mid-rant about George Period when Fred made the mistake of staying there is no P in George but that's when I told him that is George's last name - Period. Nuff said. End of discussion. Went so far as to try and be addressed as Mr. Period.

The other day I had spewed forth my weirdness on Facebook about not shaving my legs in a sad attempt at another layer of warmth, but remembered from past experience that I just get all itchy and then want to practice yeti calls. Since I have to close the store the next couple nights, I decided to de-yeti so I can't be forced to try the dare of practicing this over the intercom in a sad attempt to get rid of customers early.

The struggle is real, people.

So while I was in mid-shave it sort of dawned on me that it was a wee bit disturbing that I just named a female organ and man's name. And right there I had a cramp that was so intense that it about dropped me to my knees. I think I just angered George, because if felt like he just said, "bow to me and beg for mercy, you little human!!"

Sort of a blur now, so I'm not sure exactly how it went. But meds and chocolate were administered immediately and now I will go out into the public and face the coupon crazed masses who will try to argue with me.

Maybe we should pity them, because George has declared he will take no prisoners.

Monday, March 2, 2015

I'm Not Sure That Was A Smart Thing To Do

Hey! That could be the title of my autobiography that I'll never write. But for some reason this just sings me. And now I don't know how I feel about that or what that actually means. Great. Now I'm getting depressed. Okay, I was sort of already feeling it.

One of those weird train of conversations had happened and we ended up finding our old house is for sale. NOT GOING TO MOVE BACK. Thought I would put that disclaimer out there. But we were looking at pictures of it and was surprised to see they didn't change any of the stuff we did but did some more improvements. From what we can gather someone bought it and tried to flip it but it isn't happening. They bought it 2 years ago in February. I really feel bad for them if they tried to live there in February.

Anyone remember my old posts of yore of how freezing that place was and how I had to thaw out the washing machine every other day from January to March? Anyone?

But I was sort of pouting about seeing our old house until we were talking with the bank about getting a mortgage and it turns out when you go through foreclosure and all that junk, that it goes better for you if your old house sold. The minimum is 2 years. Looks like we just squeaked through the line. Okay, that did make me feel a little better. On top of that, it looks like we might be house hunting by the end of the month.

That progressed rather quickly. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. We had to basically give our sad tale of woe to explain our credit history. It was rather depressing looking at the last few years however, it does show we've got some serious grit to ourselves by pressing ahead. Still waiting to see if they are impressed with all our grit.

But something that helped snap me out of my funk was Kerri and family were coming through Indy on their way to their vacation spot. We had lunch at 5 Guys and hung out before I had to go into work. It was so good to see her again and yet it was so weird too. Fred had the day off so he dropped me off and took the guys home. He came and got me. I was so grateful he did because one of the manager's car wouldn't start. I was standing there watching him like it was no big deal, while I realized I had no clue on what to do or how to do it. I would be so screwed without him. I teased him that this was why I kept him around. He got a good laugh out of that one.

Although, I'm still slightly, but not really, steamed at him. The other night we were all bundled up in bed and I went to pull a cover up over my shoulder but my hand slipped off and I ended up punching myself in the nose. And my dear sweet husband laughed so hard his stomach cramped up. Jerk. He's still giggling about this days later. I told him I will have my revenge. I got some seriously cold toes just waiting to nail him when he doesn't suspect it. Trouble with this plan is he does expect it and therefore makes sure he has the sheet as his force-field as he is wrapped up like a mummy so I can't get to him.

Diabolical! It's like he knows! 20 years of marriage has taught him well.

Reality came blasting back in Saturday at work. We were so slammed that there was a 2 hour wait to get fabric cut. And people wonder why I don't want to learn how to sew. I've had the head manager get on my case that I need to take a couple of the classes we offer. I said I would try the one on how to frost a cupcake because cupcakes are accepting unlike sewing machines because they are possessed. She laughed and told me I was funny and I tried to get away before she could press the matter. I have an annoying feeling they want me to run the customer service desk. There are still some things I don't know so I can't do it and I'm okay with that. I'm trying to figure out how soon I can leave not get promoted!

It also didn't help that a major snow storm blew in that night. It came down hard and fast! By the time we got out of the store, the parking lot was covered and the highway was a mess. At one point I got up to 30 mph. And that was so I could get my butt over to the far lane. It wasn't anything I wasn't used to but not seeing the lanes makes it hard. 4 lane highway turns into follow the tracks! Who cares where they lead! Just go!!

I walked through the door declaring I was never leaving the house again. I have a feeling no one is taking me seriously. Especially since I had to work early this morning and tomorrow is grocery shopping day.
(Insert some pathetic plea for the rapture to happen but then make a snort noise as all my other pleas have all been ignored.)