Wednesday, March 4, 2015

George Period

I think I may change the name of aunt flo to George. This guy doesn't play around, and quite frankly, is an absolute beast of a bully. I was trying to come up with what all George could stand for like:
G- ginormous mess
E- exceedingly painful
O- outrageously annoying
R- rage induced emotions
G- greedy consumer of chocolate
E- epic torture that no mere mortal should have to endure

I was in mid-rant about George Period when Fred made the mistake of staying there is no P in George but that's when I told him that is George's last name - Period. Nuff said. End of discussion. Went so far as to try and be addressed as Mr. Period.

The other day I had spewed forth my weirdness on Facebook about not shaving my legs in a sad attempt at another layer of warmth, but remembered from past experience that I just get all itchy and then want to practice yeti calls. Since I have to close the store the next couple nights, I decided to de-yeti so I can't be forced to try the dare of practicing this over the intercom in a sad attempt to get rid of customers early.

The struggle is real, people.

So while I was in mid-shave it sort of dawned on me that it was a wee bit disturbing that I just named a female organ and man's name. And right there I had a cramp that was so intense that it about dropped me to my knees. I think I just angered George, because if felt like he just said, "bow to me and beg for mercy, you little human!!"

Sort of a blur now, so I'm not sure exactly how it went. But meds and chocolate were administered immediately and now I will go out into the public and face the coupon crazed masses who will try to argue with me.

Maybe we should pity them, because George has declared he will take no prisoners.

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