Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Why Did I Even Think This Would Be A Good Idea?

I just had an entire list of things that went through my head that fits all in that category. Now I'm kinda of nervous because that wasn't supposed to happen. My list of things to do just took a dark turn and now I want to run away from the beast and go hide under a blanket.

Sadly, life just isn't going to let that happen.

Even sadder still, I'm not sure if I've blogged this before or if I just thought about a blog post but never got around to actually posting it.

Welcome to my brain! Things may, or may not, make sense at any given....SHINY!

Where was I? Oh yeah. So Hubby dear saved me from my stupidity once again. We have a game plan for pharmacy week that is in October. Please read that carefully - OCTOBER! Pecan Pumpkin Loaves galore. Only to have same dear Hubby tell me that it was employee appreciation week and suggested we do it immediately. As in that day.

Once I stopped laughing so hard I realized he was serious. That's when I told him not happening. I then felt bad as I was the idiot that came up with all these suggestions of what we, meaning me, could do. I offered to do a couple batches of cashew bars instead and we were back in business. Until George decided to weigh in on this decision rendering me in a not great mood. It didn't help said bad mood when I discovered that dude oopsidentally put the corn syrup in his briefcase along with a couple other SoBe bottles. He said it was 5:30 in the morning and had just worked a double, so all bottles look alike at that time in the morning.

I'm amazed he can even focus!

But I only had enough to do 1 batch until he got home, which left me staying up late to get it done as momma taxi was once again on the road as 1 guy had worship practice, 1 kid had youth group, and the other 1 had the car so I can't pawn it off on someone else to take them. I need a nap. And another vehicle, Lord - please and thank you!

While that was baking up, I was trolling scrolling through Facebook when I noticed my MIL had posted this really cute sunflower wreath how-to on her wall telling a friend it was better material to work with. I did a 4th of July bandanna wreath that turned out cute so I decided to give this a try. And happy day! I got a 25% off coupon from Jo-Ann's. Except it expires tomorrow which means I need to go today because I think I have something else going on tomorrow. So all that happened last week. Fast forward a few days because it took me a few days to survive the carnage. I'm still finding this gold mesh stuff all over the place.

If you feel you have nothing better to do for the next hour or so, go on Pinterest and do a sunflower wreath search and then sit back and watch a few youtube how-tos. I would like to say that they really don't let you know just how behemothly huge this sucker turns out to be. I'm talking it was bigger than the freaking door it was supposed to hang on huge. Needless to say, I took it apart and tried again. I would like to add that my cheap butt did NOT buy the 2 rolls it suggested because it was 15 bucks a roll and the wreath looked a tad bit bald as I spaced out it out on the different ring.

When my eyes landed on that price tag, it was that moment when my mother's head popped up and started telling me that when you do something, you do it nice and the best of your ability. And that's when I said yeah, "but I don't have that much ability OR your talent and reckless spending tendencies so 1 and done," then tossed it in the buggy and kept moving.

I had to keep moving because I said that last part out loud, as I tend to do, and I think I scared a lady.

I should point out that MIL was not joking about material being a bit hard to work with and whathaveyou because GAH! I didn't do the burlap mesh because I couldn't find it and if memory serves me right, it's more pricey. I skipped getting the bag of fuzzy twist ties because I had other things to buy and I thought I was going to be able to tie it like I did the bandanna wreath.

That's a big no there, Captain!

This stuff was not going to be tied off like fabric. In a panic, I sprang to the trusty everything goes draw, but not to be confused with a junk draw. This draw has all my bread twist-ties that I tend to save because I have reasons and possibly some issues. But I can hold those stupid issues together nicely because twist-ties! But I wasn't going to use up my stash on a flipping wreath. Somehow we had some flimsy twist-ties that I'm pretty sure would not pass any twist-tie inspection if there were such a thing; and I can't remember how long they have been sitting there. I looked upon them, and they up at me with a deep desire that had been long denied. Today was their day. Their day of glory! The stuff twist-ties can only dream of! I knew in my heart that I'm not that great at crafts. It was in this moment of craft weakness that I embraced my married into redneck genes that gets encrusted on you when your love slips on that ring and grabbed those sad looking twist-ties and got my craftiness on.

I ended up having to put all of it on 1 ring instead of spreading it all out because 1 roll thankyouverymuch. But it covered up the hickerbilly ties. However, when it came time to do the center part of sunflower - fill in any type of doom and gloom music you can muster. It wasn't working. That hickerbillyness stepped up to the plate and said hold my tea, which is girl speak for hold my beer, I got this Cletus! I ended up taking a Walmart bag stuffed with other Walmart bags to make it a poof. I then tied the poof the wreath. I cut out some brown felt, hot glued in on the poof and then hot glued some little pine cones on the brown felt. It turned out cute but the underside of this thing screams ghetto. I kid you not.

My mom was commenting on how nice it looks until I flipped it over to show the underbelly of ugly hoping she would be proud of my hickerbilly ingenuity. She busted out laughing so bad I'm pretty sure she peed herself a little bit. Once she could properly breath again, she asked why in heavens name didn't I cover it up better. When I asked what did she mean, she hung the wreath back up, closed the door, and pointed out that you could see the ghetto through the glass part of our door.

So much for my hickerbilly ingenuity. But it is cute. Thankfully, it flattened out a little bit when I closed the door, but it's still super poofy.

I finally figured out how to a picture. And I'm pretty sure spellcheck hates me right now because it is screaming at me that most of these words aren't real. I beg to differ spellcheck, and clearly you need to get out more.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Brilliant And Not So Brilliant

I almost titled this as Doing Backstrokes in the Barf Bucket of Life, but I still feel a bit green to be joking around. August has been a crazy month. I'm glad to see it end because sheesh!

There were moments of brilliance, like we cleaned up our old frig and plugged it in to see if it still works and yes it does. Then we discovered that we actually need the second frig and freezer. I now feel like this needs to be a service announcement to all. If you have more than 2 kids, have an extra frig in the garage. Especially if 1 of your kids happens to be part fish and uses a lot of water bottles. Actually, the 2 that work are going through them like crazy but I totally get it.

A not so brilliant moment was we got the cabinets all done, (which Rust-Oleum totally lied about it being a weekend project but whatever) only to discover the hinges we ordered were not right and we couldn't make it work. We went to every home improvement store you can name and struck out. Had to ship those back and order different hinges. Finally got them all installed and we are happy with how it looks. Except now we really hate the counter tops and I'm trying really hard not to stare at the walls.

It is only a matter of time before I crack and start painting.

We got to go see the Ark Encounter and really enjoyed it. As the same with the Creation Museum - lot of reading. They post world view and biblical view side by side and I found it refreshing. Could not get over how huge it was. I always pictured Noah and fam all crammed in there together having to eat with a bird on their shoulders and monkey on the head. Far from it. We really enjoyed it.

Although, I highly recommend not getting food poisoning the day before your trip. That one was my own stupid fault. I'm just going to chalk that up to not being of right mind or slightly distracted or some combination of both. But Fred's brilliant moment was to bring along an old ice cream bucket - with lid - and it turned out to be a life saver while on the highway with no way to pull over. Guys were a good sport as I shoved my head in the bucket and let loose my 5 crackers and half a can of 7up.

Good times.

It's not like I was back to being a hundred percent as it was but that certainly knocked me for a loop. I think I had to sit down at every bench along the way as the crowds made me a bit green. But we made it through and it was really cool. We passed on the petting zoo because we don't care and that is a perk with everyone being in the adult range. When we came out of the ark it was pouring buckets of rain and everyone joked about going back in the ark. Thankfully, we get shuttled to the parking lot because I don't think I would have made it. Scratch that I KNOW I wouldn't have made it.

In between the ER visit and this trip, we've had vehicle issues with each car and it just needs to stop. I had another cyst episode and I've found ice packs work better than a heating pad. I've heard Castor oil packs are known to dissolve cyst. If life could slow down for a bit I want to try it.

Had a lot of juggling everyone around last couple weeks. With having different vehicles in the shop at different times that left me filling in all the gaps. Lots and lots of gaps. Like taking Fred into work so I could take Nicholas to work because Michael wouldn't be back in time, and that was the day Fred was working a double, so I got to go back at 11 p.m. to get him after being up at 5 a.m.

He's not normal.

Jared starting up school this week and so far it's looking like this isn't going to be brain crunch I thought it was going to be. Huge shout out to Michael for helping figure out a chemistry equation because I was less than zero help. Dude is also on the worship team at church while Nicholas is running the sound board and the schedule conflicts have been fun. I think I was at church 4 times last week for various reasons. And just a little over a week ago all 3 guys got baptized. Super happy for them.

I wasn't sure if that was going to happen or not. Our lovely track record of crappy churches has often left the guys feeling that most people's profession of faith is pretty much full of hot air. Toss in the youth groups that treated them like little kids with glorified babysitting instead of equipping them for adulthood hadn't helped at all. Disaster is a better description. We almost had to bribe Jared to give this one a chance. So we were super happy when the guys started talking about getting baptized, and that they felt that this church actually has believers instead of players. I did force the older 2 into a young adult group as well as join our bible study group. It's been more juggling around for me, but I know they need it. Plus, I know this is just a season and before I know it, they will be flying the coup.

My folks have some great connections and got a deal on some meat. Mom just called and looks like the cow is going to be ready this week and the pig will be done in a few more weeks. I'll be scrambling back and forth to help them out. I thought they were bringing it down, but change of plans and we roll with it. Fred's car needs to go back in the shop for the next fix, so I'm not sure how this is all going to go down.

Never a dull moment.

Friday, August 5, 2016

2 Funerals, 2 Projects, And A Trip To The ER,

I'm trying to catch up with life that decided to sprint ahead. It's like it totally forgot I don't sprint. Or run. I was mom taxi for a few days while we got the guys' car taken care of because it decided it needed a new fuel pump. At least the guys' paid for it, and extra bonus the key getting stuck is now no longer a problem. This means the only time my taxi services are needed is when Nicholas has an opening shift. Like tomorrow.

But we made it through Grandma's funeral. We opted not to go over to Grandma's house as everyone picked through her stuff like a bunch of vultures. I get it, I really do, but it's so hard to see how final death is and how little regard some people have for someone's stuff. My mom was really upset by the whole thing and if she was upset, I'm super glad I wasn't there.

She feels like I didn't get anything, I disagree. Grandma got me started cross-stitching, and I just used that skill to make some Star Wars baby bibs for one of Fred's co-workers that made her day. Stuff like that - that's what I hang onto. I'm okay without her stuff. Besides there were a few cousins that were ready to go to blows over things. Not worth it.

Then the weekend after that, another one of Fred's co-workers died of cancer. That was a much harder funeral to go to. I didn't know her at all but she was only in her early 30s. I got to meet some more of Fred's co-workers. Nice to put some names to faces.

I did the cross-stitch project right smack dab in the middle of stripping all the paint off the cabinets because I'm not very bright at times. Scraping paint by day and collapsed on the couch stitching by night.

Such a glamorous life I live.

I am so thankful for Pinterest because I pretty much winged it on the bibs and they turned out cute. I had to make a card, so I blew the dust off of my scrapbook stuff and actually made a a bb8 out of a lot of circle punches. I'm not sure if I should be proud of that or just go sit in the nerd corner. I was told she was so happy she almost peed herself. That's certainly a new one for me.

I am going to leave off I had to have reading glasses over my regular glasses because I couldn't see the squares very well. I'll just say I was super exhausted and see if you buy that excuse. Ahem!

The cabinets - that paint was hiding a whole lot of ugly. Got all the tan stuff off easy-peasy. Underneath all that was navy blue for the base and burgundy for the doors. That navy didn't want to come off. But we used this Citrus Strip stuff and it was awesome. I'm not paid to say that, the stuff works wonders. The sides of these cabinets underneath the paint was just a wood sticker, so we're adding wood on the sides. The wood is pretty beat up, so looks like we're going to have to do a Rust-oleum kit where you paint the cabinets, glaze it to bring out the wood grain, and then seal it.

I'm both looking forward to this project and dreading it.

I'm still pretty weak because earlier this week I ended up in the ER with a ruptured cyst. Just another joy of having PCOS - the cysts can explode. Who knew? And, of course, all this had to happen during a crazy busy week. The pain was unbearable, and I threw up everything I thought about eating...for the next month. Needless to say, a trip to the ER was going to happen. Thankfully, I know a guy who works at a hospital and we were hustled in real quick and taken care of. I had no bleeding so no surgery was needed, because I seriously do not have time for surgery. Nor do I want to pay for that especially since we got a whooper of a bill to fix my Blazer.

It has been an interesting week to say the least.

The funny part was after several tests, the Dr. said well you're not pregnant and Fred and I gave each other a high-five. He wasn't expecting that reaction. I truly hope Fred doesn't have to see that Dr. again especially since I had to have a pelvic exam. Can you imagine that Christmas party? Hey, how's your wife? Talk about a roomy hoo-hah.

At this point in the blog, I would like to blame all the medicines they have me on, but I think we all know I'm like this all the time.

I feel kind of bad. All this time I've been giving George the angry uterus the bum rap, but it might be Lulu the weepy ovary that has caused George to be so angry. I'm not sure. At one point they thought the ovary was twisting and untwisting. It's a good thing they already gave me the anti-nausea meds, because I was ready to blow more chunks at that point. I got the whole go on birth control pills as that will slow down the growth of the cyst. Not stop them, slow them. So exploding cyst are par for the course. They don't believe me when I say that I make Cruella DeVil look like Mary Poppins when I'm on bc.

The good news is this isn't life threatening unless there is internal bleeding. The bad news is it hurts worse than childbirth. I was given serious kudos for not passing out. Go me. Way to be super tough. The reality is I would have liked to pass out but I was too busy throwing up at the time.

I don't feel very tough. I'm wiped out. I almost needed a chair yesterday when I was cooking dinner. I think I might be able to just chill all next week which is good because after that should be when we're tackling the cabinet project. Oh happy day.

Friday, June 24, 2016

When Your Life Just Strapped On Running Shoes

All you can do is hold on and go with it. I'm pretty sure I blinked and a whole month went by. I just looked at the calendar where my eyes focused in on the date and not just to see what time so and so has to be where on which day. I thought for sure my eyes were playing tricks on me. And when I took a gander at the month, I felt a bit lightheaded.

I'm sitting here waiting to get a phone call from my folks to inform me that my grandma has passed. She had a stroke Saturday and by Monday she was in a coma. She's 95 and hasn't been doing all that great for months so it is really weird to sit here and just wait. All the texts between aunts and cousins you would think she's already been gone for a few days. Lot of stuff to go through. I'm relieved for my folks who have waited on this stubborn woman like crazy for the last 3 years. It's hard to watch them go through all that and I can't help but think of the future and wonder. Then I have to think of something else, because I just can't go there.

On top of that, I'm behind on a few things and I do find that kind of depressing. J was done with school back in April and I haven't finished grading his math. I can think of about 302 things I would rather do. Shockingly, I seem to have that exact same number of things that need my immediate attention.

May rolled in with J turning 17, M getting employee of the month, (Take that evil manager from the underworld!) and N getting a job at Sam's Club. The guys' car is having some crazy issues. Like it won't release the key once in park. M has a few tricks up his sleeve to get the thing to click and then it'll release. N seems to have all the patience of a gnat and doesn't want to mess around with it. Read all that to Mom will you take me? It's only 6 minutes away, I think I can handle it. Until someone forgot to watch the clock and kept on working and I sat out in the hot sun for over an hour with the sun shining in my face.

I thought about letting him walk home.

Fred's job has pretty much turned into bailing water in a sinking ship at the moment. I think I heard the terms trial by fire been used more than once. He knew going in there were a lot of problems that need to be dealt with but right now they've have 1 person quit, 2 retire, and another moving in another month. Leaves the schedule in shambles and that leaves Mr. Robot to fill in all those gaps. He said I might not see him for the month of July and possibly August. We're like two ships that pass each other and briefly say hi as we charge on to the next port. Our text messages have been entertaining. A couple that can joke together will keep their sense of humor in the midst of sheer chaos.

Chaos - thy name is schedule.

In the midst of all the crazy, we finally found a church back in March. Hallelujah and amen! Because I was pretty much resigned to the fact that it wasn't going to happen. Like ever. How we found it was pretty weird and long story short - it's a God thing. Stuff is brewing on that front. Right now I'm trying to dodge getting asked to help with VBS. Bolting out the door as soon as pastor says amen has been working quite well so far. I do have an excuse as both Nicholas and Fred have to be at work in the afternoon, so there is no time for dilly-dallying.

Trying to balance everyone's work schedule, church stuff, a handful of some other stuff, and I thought I was about ready to tackle another home improvement project. The kitchen cabinets have at least 3 coats of different colors of paint. I can tell as it's all starting to chip around the handles. The walls are a shade of tan I'm not liking and the cabinets were painted almost the same shade. It's just blah. After being very happy with how the bathroom turned out, my eyes can't stop looking at the cabinets pretty much the same way you look at chipped finger nails. The loathing starts to build until you push past the feelings of don't want to and just get it done. I need to get them all stripped down to bare word and then we can see what we have to work with if Fred is still allowed his vacation time. I'm hoping I can tackle one section at a time so I don't get overwhelmed with everything, because I'm sort of surprised at how easy that is to achieve. Because once I get overwhelmed I want to go hide in my blanket fort and pretend I don't exist.

It doesn't work very well. Especially the closer it gets to dinner time.

But right now everything is on hold to see what's going on with grandma. Honestly, I'm amazed she's lasted this long. The rate everything is going, it might just be me and Jared that goes to the funeral. My folks would be livid. Depending on the day all but Nicholas can do it. The thing that gets me is everyone was all over me for the guys to get jobs. Okay - check. Now I got people all pissed off because the guys are - wait for it - working all the time and don't have time for things.

People. Gotta love them.....from a distance. As I run in a different direction.

Monday, May 2, 2016


I am so going to take a moment here and totally brag on my man. Dude has been a super hard worker. These last few years was just a big ol' huge leap of faith. That and there was that whole didn't have a choice thing going on. Minor detail. It wasn't easy jumping to a totally different career, but he did it. And in spite of all the oppositions, the bad pay at the beginning, it has paid off.

He has always been a crazy hard worker, so it was no surprise that he's done very well on all his reviews. Some have been so glowing with praise we about hung them in the hallway and used them for nightlights. Not even joking. The comments were just shy of gushing but lots of comments about how inspiring his hard work has on the place. While I already knew that about him, it was really nice to see people appreciate just how good he is at things. He just has this way of calming down situations without even trying. He always manages to calm my crazy self down. I'm now sure how he uses those Jedi tricks, but he's really good at it.

So it should come as no surprise that he just snagged the supervisor position of all the pharm techs in the hospital. It was quite the interesting turn of events. Couple of years ago the supervisor position opened up and several people, including high ranking people at the hospital, suggested he apply for it. He tossed his hat in the ring and while he didn't get it, the guy they went with was really impressive on paper. In marches reality and the guy turned out to be, and I quote, a fiasco, and ended up getting fired right around the holidays. The department has limped on with mainly Fred stepping in and filling in all the gaps. He's caught several mistakes and a couple huge ones that saved the hospital's bacon.

They opened up the supervisor position but it was in-house only. We had to pray hard about this because there were a few situations between co-workers that reminds you of schoolyard junk - from elementary school. There has been a lot of good enough attitudes and sloppy stuff that did makes us wonder if he really wanted to tackle it. Management can be a weird combo of babysitting and trying to heard cats. After a lot of praying, felt like he was supposed to do it. I joked that I bet once they got his application, they were going to shut it down and say, "We got who we wanted,"

Turns out I was right.

He was apologized to for not being given the position the first go around. Whoa! We knew he had a shot but didn't know he was that strong of a contender. Wow! I so wish he would let me copy what the announcement said about him. Glowing! And some of the congratulatory emails from high ranking people he got were really impressive. This is a pretty big deal. He's had some high ranking people stop by his office - yeah - to congratulate him and everyone is excited to see what he'll do with the department. It really was one of those God timing things. Having worked in the department, he knows what needs fixed, knows all the ins and outs, and everyone likes him.

I am beyond proud of him! We've had a lot of hard years, and he has had some really crappy bosses over the years too. Lot of people have underestimated him and have looked down their noses at him. Of course, I'm usually standing behind him flipping them off, but let's not go there. It's been frustrating to know how awesome he is and to see how many times people have blown him off for whatever reason. For him to get this opportunity is pretty awesome. He already completed a project that they gave him a month to do because he's just that awesome. He said he hasn't had to use this part of his brain in a long time so he's having to shift gears. I think he's the right man for the job. Lot of people respect him. There isn't one person there he hasn't helped. He isn't asking people to do anything he hasn't done himself repeatedly. I think the administration part is down right giddy to have a new sheriff in the department. Because if people think that nice guy Fred is going to let their lazy carcasses get away with things, they better buckle up because the storm is about to go down.

If all that awesomeness wasn't enough, he helped me freshen up the powder room. When we walked through this house, the lady had it decorated really cute. Once she left and we got it, I pretty much can't stand the shade of every wall. It's been slow going, but we're making progress. But I'm not sure why I decided to do this right before the in-laws came out for a visit. Maybe their visit gave me the needed push to get it done, or maybe it's because my mom offered to come help sometime next week that got me in gear. Who knows? *cough,cough*

I got it all painted in time for their visit and he has got a few more finishing touches to do and it'll be complete. He spent his day off getting the oil changed in the guys' car, helping me with several errands, we had to take back the new faucet because it wasn't working, got all that done and reinstalled, and then worked 2 back to back doubles over the weekend. How he survives all the craziness of life and acts likes it's no big deal is beyond me. But I'm so very grateful that he does and am amazed by him! *gush*

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Mama Bear And Warrior Princess

All rolled into one. Thankfully, that doesn't have to read: I might need an alibi or bail money. Last couple of months have just been brutal on all kinds of levels. I've had mama bear on high alert for different situations with all 3 guys, but there isn't anything I can do about it. This leaves the grizzly old gal to slap a tiara on her head and go into prayer warrior mode with all the fierceness of a ticked off bear. Even if she is rocking that tiara.

Just saying.

This stage I'm smack dab in the middle with my guys is taking a lot out of me. Not in a bad way, it's just all so uncharted and at times frustrating. I think it's frustrating because I can't make a dang thing happen. I have to sit back with all my crazy mama bear instincts and use the warrior princess mode to beat the she-beast into prayer. Because it takes a warrior to fight off mama bear instincts. I didn't realize was how much strength it really takes to pry your hands off and let go.

I think what has been so hard with this stage of adult children is trusting their relationship with God. Are they really hearing from Him correctly or is this fear pushing them off course? That's been a huge challenge. I think I've navigated it with all the grace of a wounded hippo on heels. Ain't purdy. And if they catch me at the wrong time of the month? Carnage. Lots of carnage.

Michael has a manager from hell. The things this guy has said to my son has me taking practice swings with a baseball bat to get warmed up. However, I think I'm more upset about it than he has been. I wanted him to go to HR and get moved but dude said he really feels he's right where he's supposed to be at. It rattled him, but it stretched him. We prayed and stood on some scriptures for 2 months, every day, and finally the angry guy has backed off. Yesterday he even attempted to be nice.

Shout out to the couple of people that talked me off the ledge! And while I joked I wanted to knee-cap the manager, I really appreciate having someone else to tell me to calm down. Fred gets tired of it and we both know I'm only going to kinda listen.

Extra bonus, Michael has been praying everyday for the company and they've hit quotas left and right, and their safety numbers are looking good. I still don't like this manager, and have thought about making him some special ex-lax brownies, but couldn't come up with a way for it to get just the stinky manager without it nailing other people.

What? I'm not THAT spiteful. *ahem!*

While all of that was going on with him, Nicholas was getting kind of clobbered. First month he was helping my dad, no problem. Second month, horrible headaches on his days off, was super grouchy, and didn't feel great. I was doing my bible study when it dawned on me that he needs to fight it and not agree with it. Sure enough, he started praying against that and the headaches and exhaustion went away. This last month, however, he just wants to be done. I can't blame him at all. Jared doesn't want to help my dad at all anymore either.

My folks. Well, let's just say they are rather pushy. Not to mention beyond delusional. My dad is pushing himself too much. He got light headed last week at the show. He said it felt very much like what happened in December. Not happy to hear that. This is stressing my mom out, which doesn't help that whole stroke thing. They both were saying they think Nicholas can go do the shows himself so they can spread themselves out. It's comments like that that really piss me off. N has said repeatedly he doesn't like selling and that he is only doing this so dad can get back on his feet physically. To have my dad try to get him to do more than he is already doing irritates me.

Dad thinks the guys don't do enough, has even made comments here and there that sound like he thinks they are lazy and therefore he needs to push them harder since I won't - according to him. That's usually when that mama bear takes off the tiara and says, "say that again, I dare you." The grace for it is gone and I can tell dude's whole attitude about everything has soured. Since he's gone on the weekends, him and I go to church on Wednesday nights and we had a long talk about mainly his prideful attitude and how fear was creeping in there as well. Next day, he applied to a few more places, which is nothing short of a miracle because he's been so discouraged and busy that he hadn't put much effort into changing the situation.

I'll leave off how many blow ups we've had over it, the ranting texts I've sent Fred telling him to do something with his son or I'm shipping him to Siberia, and stuff like that. Because that might just taint that picture perfect family imagine we have going on. Bahahaha! Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

I hope something opens up for N real quick. We've all had enough of it for different reasons. I know how my folks can be and I shudder for him. Time for a shift. I'm also having to shift some gears. Jared just wrapped up back to back fencing lessons. He really liked it. I think he liked the epee better than the foil which it's a different type of sword. I couldn't tell you much more than that as I wasn't always paying attention. I'm just happy he's done and he'll be finished with all his schoolwork and will be on summer break before the month is done. Then I'll drag him to go get his driver's permit, and then proceed to talk to God about the rapture and how soon He can make that happen.

Although God is tossing me for a loop here. Just got back from the Homeschool Convention. Had a blast! But was sort of tossed something I'm still mulling over. It's sort of like hey you should do this and I'm like wait, what? Um, no. No thanks. I suck at it anyway, but thanks for thinking of me. I'll see how long I can get away with that before God gets after me. I'm still trying to get caught up on laundry and sleep that I desperately need. So I'll leave off with a mysterious air of a slight possibility of.....something.
But more blog post should be happening soon-ish. Maybe. After I go hibernate for a while, because that's what bears do.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

When December Turns Into Nothing But A Blur

And you realized that January is trucking right along! My folks' health scares were enough to keep me hopping, but life doesn't always give you just one round of things to deal with at a time. That almost sounds fair and according to Fred - fair is a four letter cuss word!

Had one kid get hosed on a job and the other one take a job at FedEx with a shift starting at the butt crack of dawn. And oh happy day! The brakes went out on their car the day he started. This, of course, has left moi to be taxi. At the butt crack of dawn. Because when the chips hit the trail, it is mom to the rescue.

God bless her little heart.

Her sleep deprived little heart.

And by her, I mean me. Please, God, bless me! My eyes have been extra heavy with not enough sleep. How is it twenty years later and these turkeys are still causing me to be sleep deprived?!?

It's been super weird too because everything has been either in slow motion or super sonic speed. I've had these moments where I'm about ready to go all Sunrise, Sunset. I think the first time I dropped Michael off at work, he suddenly looked like he was 6 years old. It probably didn't help that the work coat we got was a few sizes too big, so it looked like he was wearing his daddy's coat. I told this to the guys and they all started laughing at me saying I must be sleep deprived and what a hoot I am.

Yeah, haha - so funny. Totally hilarious. *gulp!* I think I have issues.

Plus, he's discovered the joys of a lazy co-worker and getting to share the blame because someone refuses to be a team player. When he was telling me about this, I about turned around and ran the guard shack to hunt the manager down. Like I said, I have issues. I wouldn't really have done it. It's just that the thought was right there, my foot might have hovered over the brake pedal, and it's possible my hands did tighten up on the wheel. It's not like I was ready to go full blown hickerbilly, but I just slightly thought about it. But kudos to him as he said he refused to be offended and totally cast that care over to God. He said he can tell it's a test and he is determined to pass it.

He is a much wiser person than I could ever hope to be.

All this driving back and forth in the wee hours just happens to be when Fred's schedule is all 2nd shift. So if I want to see him, I got to stay up late. Then I'm getting up at a time that no person should be up by, get out the door, come back home and try not to pass out on the couch while I wait. Since it's a by load type of shift, they have no idea how long the shift is going to last. There have been a few times he was already done and had to text me to come get him. We both usually head back to bed when we get back. I try to force myself up so I have a chance to see Fred before he goes off to work and then finish off the day in a zombie like phase.

We've had so much stuff going on that it took us a while to get their car in to get fixed. We've been taking their car and he's been driving there but he's still concern about driving back home because he's worn out and sore. We got hit with some snow so this has been some extra time for me to instruct him on driving in snow. He's about ready to take over. Just took him a while to get his confidence up, juggle a new schedule, and get his body used to all the heavy lifting. We all sort of laugh. Michael is the shortest one of the group, but dude has these arms of steel. Jared tossed something at him and said, "Hey biceps, open this for me."

So while M's been tackling that, the guy that got hosed on a couple jobs has ended up being a huge blessing all the way around. He got strung along with a couple places while they were trying to get approval from corporate to higher more people. Don't even get me started on that and according to a couple of managers I used to work for, it happens a lot. Corporate didn't give approval and one thing after another fell through. I have been so frustrated for him I could spit. Granted, not very well, but the angst was there. He, on the other hand, has maintain his peace and has covered for his brother who's been flat worn out. Then he shocked all of us and has been a huge help to my dad selling BBQ products, driving him everywhere, and doing all the heavy lifting. He's outsold my dad twice and my dad can sell snow to a polar bear! Dude doesn't enjoy it but has done this out of his heart to help my dad.

I really feel like he is positioning himself for some serious blessings. My dad is stubborn and will not slow down. This one can give him a run on stubbornness and it's kind of funny to see them together. While dad is getting better, he is still pretty weak. That first weekend, dad admitted he never would have made it without Nicholas' help. (We all told him it was too soon and he didn't want to hear it.) It's been a huge peace of mind that Nicholas is doing this for him. He was saying if anything would have happened he wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt because he could have helped but didn't want to do it. He is doing it unto the Lord and says he can tell it's forcing him out of his shell. I wasn't even aware he was ever IN a shell, but dude has committed to helping his grandpa until the right job comes along. Which causes me to have a lot of mixed emotions.

It's moments like this that I look at them and think dang! You guys are better adults than I am. And then there are times they do something really stupid and I think it's going to take a miracle for them to get it all together. I can say, they have way, way more brilliant, intelligent, and very deep spiritual insight with different circumstances than the brain farts, so there really is hope.

And I need to cling to that hope especially when dealing with Jared, because da boy is nothing but a walking cloud of brain farts lately. He has had a few days where his attitude smells just as bad as a fart too. I know it's a stage, I have been here before. I just don't like this stage, nor its know-it-all attitude.

If that isn't enough to make me sigh - a deep sigh that wants a bag of chocolate and a room all to myself - he's starting to study for his driving permit. While he won't take it till spring, just knowing that it's lurking out there, like a dark cloud looming off in the horizon ready to rain all over my happiness doesn't help. Plus, I'm putting him in a beginner's fencing group, because I apparently thought arming long arms with a sword was a good idea. The older guys keep telling me I'm nuts, but after surviving all the music stuff with them, I guess I'm looking for a change of pace. I'm hoping it'll burn off some of his squirrelly energy. If he comes at me with another flying tackle, I'm refusing to come out of my room. He loves to just hop on Fred's back with no warning. It truly is a miracle that Fred keeps his balance and hasn't crashed into anything. I'm still waiting to hear back if there is a spot open. Classes start in a few days and if he's in, my schedule has officially gone to psychotic stage.

I might get sleep sometime in the summer.