Sunday, April 10, 2016

Mama Bear And Warrior Princess

All rolled into one. Thankfully, that doesn't have to read: I might need an alibi or bail money. Last couple of months have just been brutal on all kinds of levels. I've had mama bear on high alert for different situations with all 3 guys, but there isn't anything I can do about it. This leaves the grizzly old gal to slap a tiara on her head and go into prayer warrior mode with all the fierceness of a ticked off bear. Even if she is rocking that tiara.

Just saying.

This stage I'm smack dab in the middle with my guys is taking a lot out of me. Not in a bad way, it's just all so uncharted and at times frustrating. I think it's frustrating because I can't make a dang thing happen. I have to sit back with all my crazy mama bear instincts and use the warrior princess mode to beat the she-beast into prayer. Because it takes a warrior to fight off mama bear instincts. I didn't realize was how much strength it really takes to pry your hands off and let go.

I think what has been so hard with this stage of adult children is trusting their relationship with God. Are they really hearing from Him correctly or is this fear pushing them off course? That's been a huge challenge. I think I've navigated it with all the grace of a wounded hippo on heels. Ain't purdy. And if they catch me at the wrong time of the month? Carnage. Lots of carnage.

Michael has a manager from hell. The things this guy has said to my son has me taking practice swings with a baseball bat to get warmed up. However, I think I'm more upset about it than he has been. I wanted him to go to HR and get moved but dude said he really feels he's right where he's supposed to be at. It rattled him, but it stretched him. We prayed and stood on some scriptures for 2 months, every day, and finally the angry guy has backed off. Yesterday he even attempted to be nice.

Shout out to the couple of people that talked me off the ledge! And while I joked I wanted to knee-cap the manager, I really appreciate having someone else to tell me to calm down. Fred gets tired of it and we both know I'm only going to kinda listen.

Extra bonus, Michael has been praying everyday for the company and they've hit quotas left and right, and their safety numbers are looking good. I still don't like this manager, and have thought about making him some special ex-lax brownies, but couldn't come up with a way for it to get just the stinky manager without it nailing other people.

What? I'm not THAT spiteful. *ahem!*

While all of that was going on with him, Nicholas was getting kind of clobbered. First month he was helping my dad, no problem. Second month, horrible headaches on his days off, was super grouchy, and didn't feel great. I was doing my bible study when it dawned on me that he needs to fight it and not agree with it. Sure enough, he started praying against that and the headaches and exhaustion went away. This last month, however, he just wants to be done. I can't blame him at all. Jared doesn't want to help my dad at all anymore either.

My folks. Well, let's just say they are rather pushy. Not to mention beyond delusional. My dad is pushing himself too much. He got light headed last week at the show. He said it felt very much like what happened in December. Not happy to hear that. This is stressing my mom out, which doesn't help that whole stroke thing. They both were saying they think Nicholas can go do the shows himself so they can spread themselves out. It's comments like that that really piss me off. N has said repeatedly he doesn't like selling and that he is only doing this so dad can get back on his feet physically. To have my dad try to get him to do more than he is already doing irritates me.

Dad thinks the guys don't do enough, has even made comments here and there that sound like he thinks they are lazy and therefore he needs to push them harder since I won't - according to him. That's usually when that mama bear takes off the tiara and says, "say that again, I dare you." The grace for it is gone and I can tell dude's whole attitude about everything has soured. Since he's gone on the weekends, him and I go to church on Wednesday nights and we had a long talk about mainly his prideful attitude and how fear was creeping in there as well. Next day, he applied to a few more places, which is nothing short of a miracle because he's been so discouraged and busy that he hadn't put much effort into changing the situation.

I'll leave off how many blow ups we've had over it, the ranting texts I've sent Fred telling him to do something with his son or I'm shipping him to Siberia, and stuff like that. Because that might just taint that picture perfect family imagine we have going on. Bahahaha! Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

I hope something opens up for N real quick. We've all had enough of it for different reasons. I know how my folks can be and I shudder for him. Time for a shift. I'm also having to shift some gears. Jared just wrapped up back to back fencing lessons. He really liked it. I think he liked the epee better than the foil which it's a different type of sword. I couldn't tell you much more than that as I wasn't always paying attention. I'm just happy he's done and he'll be finished with all his schoolwork and will be on summer break before the month is done. Then I'll drag him to go get his driver's permit, and then proceed to talk to God about the rapture and how soon He can make that happen.

Although God is tossing me for a loop here. Just got back from the Homeschool Convention. Had a blast! But was sort of tossed something I'm still mulling over. It's sort of like hey you should do this and I'm like wait, what? Um, no. No thanks. I suck at it anyway, but thanks for thinking of me. I'll see how long I can get away with that before God gets after me. I'm still trying to get caught up on laundry and sleep that I desperately need. So I'll leave off with a mysterious air of a slight possibility of.....something.
But more blog post should be happening soon-ish. Maybe. After I go hibernate for a while, because that's what bears do.