Wednesday, January 25, 2017

That Was Awkward

How is it possible I let so many weeks, nay months go flying right by my head without a blog post? Real stinking easy. I get that we are all busy, but I don't think I've had a season in my life that has been such a blur. I'm juggling everyone's schedule that I have no control over any of it. Before I had plotted and planned and was able to shift things. Now? I need at least 2 weeks notice to do anything with anyone or it's not going to happen.

I have to laugh at myself because I'm noticing things that I was letting myself get stressed over has a way of sorting itself out. Example: that whole pharmacy week thing I was freaking out over? Turns out dude had that slated as a vacation week and I was off the hook. Well, sort of. We HAD to get our back deck painted. There was a lot of exposed wood and with winter pretending to be here, we knew it needed treated before snow was supposed to fly.

I say supposed to fly because we had snow for like 3 days. It warmed up and now all we've had was rain. It's been in the 50s and 60s, which is odd because a few weeks ago it was single digits. The weather is crazier than I am and I'm not sure how I feel about that. We did have a nasty ice storm beginning of December. And it was on a night that Fred's car died while he was getting on the highway on a left side entrance. Read that as no where to park. It took me almost 2 hours to get to him. Dude was freezing as scrubs have nothing to them. The whole thing was a mess. Couldn't get a tow truck as there were close to 500 wrecks. By the time we finally got a tow truck lined up the next day, the state police got to his car before we could. Took a few more days to locate the car. Was seriously overpriced on towing fees, went with a different company to tow it to the garage to get it fixed. This was a week after we had to get a new water heater, so our Christmas was a real ba hambug! But pulled through it as we always do and life chugs on.

The happy note in all of that was back in the fall we did Dave Ramsey's financial peace program. This last round wiped out the emergency funds, but it was covered. The bonus is I made the guys do the program right with us and they have been saving up their money. Shortly after their 21st b-day (how is that possible I ask you?) they both bought used cars in cash. No debt and it took a huge strain off of us. Which is good because Nicholas has been doing all opening shifts and I would have had to take him. So happy dance on my end! Except now we're working on Jared's driving hours, so it was a short lived dance.

Imma say it a thousand times over: teaching someone to drive is not for the faint of heart!

The snag is now our parking situation is beyond redonkulous. We have 5 cars and a small driveway. Right now it's working simply because Jared's car really isn't in play. Once he has his license and his own schedule is when the poo will hit the fan. I just graded his last semester stuff because I have finally learned that waiting until the end of the year causes me to cry, cuss, and try to sell everything on eBay in total surrender that I totally suck at all this homeschooling stuff. Which is hilarious when you consider next year is the last one. Glory!

Although, I'm finding a lot of identity crisis has been popping up in my head lately. I have taken a ton of crap from relatives for making my kids my career. I came close to caring once. Not true, I have to work hard not to let their words and opinions weigh me down, which is easier said than done. The last round of holidays left a few comments about once J is done I'll have no more excuses and will need to get off my large butt and get a real job. How I managed not to spew forth sarcastic comments still amazes me.

I guess Jesus really is working in my life.

I feel like that thought had been sort of rolling around in my head, but I never stopped long enough to voice it and certainly not so cold. So to hear it said like that was unexpected and unwelcomed. Especially now that it went from a vague feeling to a loud shouting voice. And this is why I try to avoid family reunions.

I'm glad at one of the library book sales I picked up the book Soul Detox. I'm only a few chapters in and I'm like, well snap! Lot of toxic thinking going on up in here. Then a church sermon, a blog post, even a podcast all talking about being more mindful. Way to start of the new year with a kick in the noggin! But I do find it frustrating that I know this stuff, but seem to fall short of putting it into practice on a regular basis. I tried that whole Jesus take the wheel approach and He was like nice try.

So here is to a new year of being more present, more mindful, and with a ton more gratitude than what I have been in the past. The sarcastic part just seems to be there no matter how hard I try to curb it, so not much promise in changing that part. Besides, I think it would cause me physical pain if I tried to stop now. I'm not going to risk it.