Thursday, January 18, 2018

That Moment When I Actually had 15 Minutes To Myself And Remembered I Used To Blog Once

Who am I kidding? I haven't had 15 minutes to myself since in....well.....a long time ago.

Life has been moving faster than a speeding blender. I'm surprised at how fast the holidays came and went. It feels like a sneak attack, which is odd because it's the same time every year. It's not like the date changed or anything for crying out loud. It just sort of BAM! right there on my things to do list.

Don't get me started on that darn list either. Right now, I'm doing this weird negotiation with it where I'll do the 10 loads of laundry today so long as I can put off the 20 other items I have been avoiding for the last week. Very much like a hostage situation. Hand over the clean undies and I'll think about balancing the checkbook. No. That doesn't sound like a hostage situation. That sounds like an average day living with guys.

Y'all, my dudes or dudettes, life has just been nuts. I can't keep up with up it. We had a great Christmas. I found myself with this intense need for wrapping paper where I threatened to get everyone a package of socks and individually wrap the socks. I blame all of this on having adult children. Adult children are a whole different breed that you really can't prepare yourself for all the shifts and changes that seem to be happening all the time. Michael got a different job (yay!), the Sam's club Nicholas is at is closing (boo!), and Jared is on his last semester of high school (oh hallelujah!).

We keep saying this stage is so weird. 20 years ago the biggest issues the guys had was please help me tie my shoe. Now we have hey, help me file an insurance claim on my car from a fender bender. (I can't even begin to blog about that or how that took the starch right out of me, but the boy is fine and his car still runs so yay for the small things.) It's weird things too. Once upon a time, we could all binge watch TV shows. Now? It takes an act of God to align everyone's schedule just to see a movie.

Time. She be a marching on. And apparently has no brakes. Jerk.

I will say it does this mamma's heart good to see how the guys really are getting their crap together. I was very doubtful it would ever happen, but just to see them step up and do adult things makes me sigh from relief. The older 2 have a couple ideas they want to pursue if life would stop throwing monkey-wrenches at their plans that would be great. They are very active at church and are all over the place.

It looks like Fred and I are getting dragged into leading a life group. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. However, God has really been helping me to let go of people's opinions about me. Anytime I'm feeling like God is pushing me to do something and I try the but God, so and so said this about me so this is why I can't; He's pretty fast to say so what? Who are they? They don't know what's in you. How do you get out of that one? Who knew I had so many limiting beliefs?

But this seems to have triggered some weird nesting thing where I want the living room painted. Like now. As in no way do I want people to stare at this ugly wall color like I have for 2 years. Hubby is looking at me like I'm nuts. I mean more so than usual, because time is not on my side. He's not available because his work schedule is just nuts. Plus there was the whole kitchen painting episode where I'm still not sure if I like the color. It's been 5 months. I put up a few pictures that work well with it, so I'm warming up to it.

This has not instilled confidence is the Hubster. But I keep pointing out I'll be doing all the painting, and then quietly whisper he has to move everything out of the way. Although I might see if Nicholas will help me with it. It's not like he'll have anything else to do but look for a job. (I am so mad about the whole thing. I just can't even. No warning, no guarantee to move them to a different store which is way out of the way. Nothing. I'm seriously thinking about canceling my membership which I've had since the mid 90s. So not happy. And the poor guy has been pulling 9 hour shifts because of the sheer onslaught of people it has been so overwhelming. He comes home looking like a zombie. Irked. I better stop before I go off on another rant.)

In the midst of all the crazy, I'm trying to convince myself to go see a doctor. I got ovarian cysts popping like popcorn and sweet mercy the pain! I'm a bit leery as most doctors will say cyst happen so suck it up. But it's been increasing over the last year. Of course, I need to stop being a baby about it and make the appointment. All the what-ifs and past doctors being aloof doesn't instill much confidence. Right now I'm playing rock, paper, scissors with myself. I'm not really sure who's winning. A couple friends are on me to just get a hysterectomy, but I'm not so sure if I'm trading one set of problems for another set of problems.
Decisions, decisions.