Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Pre-Operation Procedures Are Overwhelming

Finally met the oncologist yesterday. I am convinced IU Cancer Doctors are at a level of chill the rest of us humans can only dream of achieving. Either that or they have access to the really good drugs.

My natural distrust of doctors is alive and well. One doc said if I would have stayed on bc pills I wouldn't be facing cancer. I said, "no, probably 15 to life for stabbing someone stupid." It should also be noted that some doctors don't have a sense of humor. The main oncologist thinks I am awesome, so yay for me. Her henchman thinks I'm an idiot. Actually, I did surprise him. Since Dr. Google and I had weeks before my appointment, this former homeschool mom researched the ever living crap out endometrial cancer. I started asking him about getting my genetic markers tested as I think Lynch syndrome could be a high possibility as there is a lot of colon cancer on my mom's side.

Let's face it, we all knew my name would be attached to a syndrome at some point.

So I scored some points. I got the whole what have you done with your life questions that moved onto what are the guys doing to prove if it was worth it questions. While they aren't there yet - they aren't a barista at Starbucks with 100,000 student loans so....suck it. (No offense to the baristas out there. I just think that's not the end all, be all type of job because dealing with people will cause one to drink...not coffee.) I get defensive - I can't help it. They all fall under the same creative type like myself and I think it's a hard road to travel as that path isn't very clear.

I still haven't found the yellow brick road and I'm starting to think that shady cat had something to do with it.

I was not prepared for the pre-op part. Like, at all. They run you through tests to see if you are healthy enough to survive surgery. Say what now? There is a butt-ton of stuff I gotta do starting now. They aren't happy with my blood pressure. Actually, they aren't happy I don't have a regular doctor. I get told I'm crazy, fat, lazy, and everyone of them get really angry when I say no to bc pills and/or whatever pill is the flavor of the day. For all the good they claim bc pills are to stop PCOS crazy, I've never understood why it came with its own brand of crazy that doctors want me to live with. My crazy isn't normal, but the pill's crazy is? And I'm the crazy one because...?

I had to get a blood pressure monitor as I got to check it 3 times a day for the next week. I got to give them readings of it because if it remains high I have to go on meds before surgery. I must have been nerves because I was down 30 points once we got home. I didn't think I was nervous. Well, I wasn't until they start poking and prodding, asking me everything I thought I might have come in contact with since I was 12, and then hooking me up to an EKG machine. You want to know what will make you nervous? Watching someone slap stickers on you and then pull out what looks like a bunch of jumper cables and proceed to attach me to said cables.

I'm pretty sure I felt a cortisol spike on that one.

I got to do breathing exercises, I have to eat a ton of protein, and then a week before surgery there is even more stuff to do. Everyone says clean like crazy because it's probably going to be 2 months before I can do anything. I invent reasons not to clean - I think I can handle that part. Not true, but it sounds funny.

Here's hoping I don't lose it, develop any eye-twitches, or have any crying spells.....today.

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